Auriela McCarthy's Blog

The Power of the Possible is Published in India

2010-04-07T11:41:00.000-07:00

The beautiful new cover of my book as it is published in India:

Isn't It Important To 'Communicate' My Feelings ???

2010-03-29T15:44:00.000-07:00

A School of Hope and Inspiration

Today, Tuesday March 30, 2010
Gathering: 6:30PM -7PM
Class: 7PM - 9:30PM

RSVP for address and directions
Classes are held in Southern Marin
Auriela@AurielaMcCarthy.com

I appreciate if everyone RSVPs,
so I know how many seats we need.
Please, be on time, we will start
promptly at 7pm

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

It looks like you are getting sick and tired of people not acting the way you would like them to!
Tired of friends or lovers not hearing what you are saying... Not changing the way you have asked them to change!!..

So many of you are writing to me, at a loss.
What to do? you are asking. How to get them to understand?

I have written the entire book, The Power of The Possible on this very subject, but sometimes it takes hearing the same thing again and again, until it suddenly clicks.

You are exasperated with how they won't listen...while if they only would... if only they'd stop being defensive and really "get" that what you are saying makes perfect sense, everything in your life (and theirs) would finally work...!!!!

Well, I have news for you. (which, if you read The Power of the Possible isn't really news at all.) It will never happen.

They will never, I repeat, NEVER change they way you want them to change as long as you insist that they do.

How does it work?

What is it I am saying exactly? Are you to throw in the towel? To give up on ever having your needs met?

No. That's not what I am saying at all.

What I am saying is that all the problems you are having with other people have to be resolved internally, within you. Then, and only then you can expect to be heard, understood and have your needs met.

Because -#1: YOU will meet your own needs ( no other person can)
and #2: by letting go of pushing the person you expect to change ( however overtly or subtly you go about it) you will have removed their need to resist you, which is usually (an unfortunately) a knee-jerk human reaction to being pushed - however subtly or overtly, even if you don't say a word and all you are doing is thinking it.
Oh, yes. Haven't you heard of "silence that screams?"

I will give you one example of it, not to make this letter too long. And you can read more in The Power of the Possible, especially in the first five chapters, starting with Chapter One: What Can I Do to Get Him To Change?

Here is today's story:

A good friend of mine told me that her boyfriend was suddenly distant and cold with her.

"The more I ask him what's wrong, the more I feel him closing me off," she said.
"I try to be nice, I offer to make him coffee or food, I make sure he knows I am there for him if he needs me...I went to see him at work and he was visibly annoyed...I don't know what I did wrong and he won't tell me and I am going crazy here. I cried all last night and when I called him I couldn't help it and started crying again..."

"Why don't you just let him be," I suggested, "and have a good time on your own?"

Incredulous, she looked at me as if I was saying she must fly to the Moon tomorrow.

"But how??!! How can I have a good time when he is this way with me?"

"There is nothing you can do about it," I said. "But you can do something about how you are. Refocus! Drop this obsession. Go out with friends. Start living. Stop pursuing him. The more you pursue him, the more he wants to withdraw. So, stop it. And get happy again. Happy people are fun to be with. Needy people are not."

"But what if he is in trouble?"

And then I said something revolutionary. ( just kidding.):
"You are NOT his mother. Stop taking care of him."

And she got it! And did just that. (Believe me, it is possible! Entirely and totally possible, as soon as you take a step back, get perspective, clear your head, become present.)

He called her the next day!

"I am so sorry, he said, I was having problems at work and I didn't feel like talking about it. Would you like to go to dinner with me tonight?"

"But Auriela, come on! Surely at dinner she told him how she had felt, "they communicated," he saw that he wasn't treating her well, she admitted that she was pushing too much, they cleared it out..."

No, dear readers, they did not "communicate" in this way.

They just had a wonderful evening, starting fresh as if the last few days didn't happen.

You see, she called me prior to going out to dinner with him, planning to talk and 'communicate,' just like you are suggesting.

"Don't," I said. "Are you still angry?" -
"No."
"Did you learn something out of this about yourself and what works and what doesn't?"
"I learned tons," she said.
"Then drop it. Don't revisit what didn't work. Just do your best to start living what you have learned. He apologized. You accepted. LET IT GO."

I know reading this will ruffle many feathers on many people's backs.
All I ask is that you think about what you just read.

Communication is an art form. And a very complex one. Just because you can talk and have feelings doesn't mean you are able to communicate them without messing things up more.

Remember: "Nothing changes until YOU do." Which means - Everything has to be resolved internally. And once you do, you may discover - there is no need to go back. You are different - and so is your reality, and so are the people in it, including that special one.

Take back your power and give it to yourself!

Decide to be happy, don't wait for others to change so you can have what you want.

It is extremely powerful sometimes to just LET GO.

Letting go is a skill.

How do you do it? I am often asked.

You don't "do" it. It's not something that can be "done."
Start practicing. Find out for yourself. This may be one of the greatest secrets that has been hidden in plain sight all of your life.

Uncover it - and you will never be the same.
Master it, and your life will sparkle!

All for now.

"See" you on the call on April 7th at 5pm PDT (8pm EST) AskAurielaAndBarnet.com

Much love,

Auriela.

P.S.
If it feels right, and you enjoy reading this blog, please, forward it to your family and friends.

Ask Auriela And Barnett, April 7th, 2010 5pm PDT

2010-03-28T22:29:00.000-07:00

Hello, Dear Friends

I know you haven't heard from me for such a long time. I want to thank many of you who wrote to me concerned, wondering if I was OK. Your caring touched me deeply.

As this year began was, it felt right for me to take a pause. Family circumstances required my attention, I felt a strong pull go inward. I knew that before I could write again I had to go through this process and honor it. And so I did.

Then, quite suddenly, the energy shifted. I woke up one morning and felt like my old energetic, enthusiastic self again: ready to write, to re-connect with my readers, answer your questions, share my thoughts in the Food for Thought.

I am also ready to offer you something new, something I am very excited about:

Here it is:

You know I haven't always been able to respond to all the emails I get, so here is something that may work even better: we will talk on the phone!

We will be able to dialog, you will hear my perspective on your question AND not just mine. (!) My good friend Barnet Bain, will join me, and you will hear not just my perspective on things but also his.

A few words about Barnet:

Barnet is an award winning Hollywood producer and director and an in-demand success coach who has inspired millions of people around the world. Among his films are Oscar winner What Dreams May Come, The Celestine Prophecy, Jesus, and triple Emmy Award nominee, Homeless to Harvard. His upcoming productions include Richard Bach's Illusions and Milton's Secret by Eckhart Tolle and Robert Friedman. Barnet is also a regular contributor to Findbliss.com.

Having both of us on the phone with you at the same time is bound to spice up the conversation since men and women often see things quite differently especially when it comes to relationships issues.

Our first call is on April 7 at 5pm PDT (8pm EDT)

Here is what to do to get on the call:

Send us your question by going to the special Ask Auriela And Barnet page we have created. You will be sent a telephone number and all the specifics of the call.

Here is the link: AskAurielAandBarnet.com

Just go to the site and enter your question.
There is no cost for the call, just send your question and then - dial up on time and listen.
Some of you will also have a chance to talk to us live at the end of the call.

If the timing doesn't work for you, you'll also get a link with the recording of the call so you can listen later, at your convenience.

Another thing to remember is that very often you get a lot more value out of listening to someone else's question and answer.

Why?

Because we all experience the same difficulties and deal with similar issues, even if the circumstance look quite different.

I am very excited about this! I think we will have a lot of fun and you will find it very helpful, especially in these highly uncertain times when everything seems to be happening so fast, and when the old ways of responding to things work less and less.

At this point Barnet and I plan to do these calls regularly.
To be part of this, just click on this link, AskAurielaAndBarnet.com or paste it to your browser, then submit your question and make sure you don't miss the call or the recording of the call.

Please, forward this blog to your friends who you think may benefit from being on the call.

"See" you on the call
on April 7th at 5pm PDT (8pm EST) at AskAurielaAndBarnet.com

Much love,

Auriela.

P.S.
If it feels right, and you enjoy reading this blog, please, forward it to your family and friends.

Who is the ME that is Running My Life?

2010-02-03T11:49:00.000-08:00

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Hello, dear friends,

A few announcements first:

Starting with February 15th, for six consecutive Tuesday evenings I will be teaching a course:

The Journey Back to Yourself: Your Journey Home

I will also teach this in New York City starting in March. The first introductory evening ( free) is on March 3d. Write to me for me details.

I have taken some time to get clear on this next step.
Let me describe what I have in mind the best I can, but in broad brush strokes.

* * *

Deep amid the vastness of All that YOU Are, there is a YOU who has all the answers, all the knowing and all the peace you have been seeking.

That You has always been there, every time you felt expansive, happy and free. Every time you were inspired and felt the immensity of what's Possible.

I want to help you return to that YOU. I want you to fall madly in love with that part of yourself, to surrender to its innate wisdom, and to let that YOU guide you forward.

This is the You that has the key to your passion, to your utmost, intimate heart's desire. That You does not long for anything... it is already full, complete and drunk with the adventure of life.

That You - is ALWAYS growing.

There have been times when you've felt it profoundly. And you loved it, and hoped it would never end...

But then you'd "lose" it and step back into your smaller self.
You would reach for the "familiar," for the "safe," even though in truth - you knew: that "safety" was false safety...

I want to help you reconnect to that very Real part of yourself consciously.

You are ready to go deeper now. Besides, right now as the years unfold, reuniting with that You becomes imperative.

This is life-changing work. The work that answers your quest for meaning. It is - your life-changing journey Home to Yourself.

(Read more about it in the Food for Thought below.)

* * *

The next two evenings,
Tuesday, the 2nd of February and Tuesday the 9th of February,
I will be teaching the Enneagram. Even if you are familiar with it, you will learn it like never before, and if you are not - you are in for a real treat!
Understanding the 9 different personality drives, discovering your own and - more importantly - learning how to apply this knowledge in your every day life way will make all the difference in the world!

It will also prepare you for the following course:

The Journey Back to Yourself

A School of Hope and Inspiration

Tuesday February 2nd, 2010
Gathering: 6:30PM -7PM
Class: 7PM - 9:30PM

RSVP for address and directions.
Classes are held in Southern Marin

email Auriela@AurielaMcCarthy.com
I appreciate if everyone RSVPs, so I know how many seats we need.
Please, be on time, we will start promptly at 7pm

Food for Thought

Who is the ME that is Running My Life?

You have most certainly noticed that too much of what used to work for us in the past does not anymore.

The smaller parts of you that "knew what to do," how to "handle" things - can't take you much further.

And that's good news.
Because the Real YOU, the True YOU is waiting.

That YOU not looking for security. It wants adventure.

It has the Trust that to the smaller you seems unfathomable.
Yet - when you live from that You - this level of trust in yourself is organic, the only thing you know...

In our world today,
The Two Paradigms of Being are coming face to face.

The Old Paradigm, in its death pangs, is fighting for survival at all cost. A bloody, tooth and nail battle.

The New Paradigm is not fighting at all. It is not its way. It just IS. It is already here. You can step into it any time or wait until the time is right.

It is pulling you in. It won't go away. It is the New Way.
In it - possibilities and future more incredible than anything you could ever imagine.

There are no maps to get there. The new maps are being made as we speak. By people who dare to make them.

We are not supposed "to go it alone." Ever.
At every step of your growth, as soon as you were ready, the guide, the teacher, to book, the mentor appeared.
Just like right now - you are leading this letter.

Look at your life. Focus on the areas where you are experiencing difficulties.
It may be just one small area, or - several areas, or for some - it may be all across the board.

Notice how you are trying to solve what's going on the way you always have. Desperately needing for things to change, and quickly. Like, for example:

"I need money right now! What do I do??!!!"
"He (or she) better change and soon, or - I am out the door!"
"I just don't know what to do anymore, I have tried everything and nothing is working!"
"I need answers here, I just can't go on like this...Somebody, give me the answers!"
"What's the point? My life is meaningless...I have no purpose..."

I can go on, but by now you have probably added your own thoughts to this desperate litany.

What's going on for everyone is this:

You cannot solve the problems the way you used to solve them in the past.

It simply does not work. If it does - it works short-term, like a band-aid, and soon - the problem returns, full force.

One way or another, all of us are being forced to face the same issue.

We must surrender our stubborn insisting on "getting our way," on "being right" in our opinions...

We must surrender our tremendous need
to always be in control and to know the outcome.

We are being asked to trust the Unknown.

If you stop here for a moment and think and feel about what you've just read and then imagine doing it... you will notice something happening in your body. A movement, a tightening, a spasm...

The fear. Not just the fear, the utter terror and dread at the very possibility of living without "the knowing" of what to expect... Yes, this is way too scary...

And now, take a breath and think again. Think about something else.
Do you really ever know what's to come? Do you really ever have that 100% certainty about your life? Do you?

No, you don't. No one does.

Here is an example:

The fear of loss always accompanies love.
You don't feel it always, but it is there, and now and then - it grips you hard. The deeper your love is, the deeper the fear of losing it.

I wrote about it in The Power of the Possible, in the Chapter: When Love is Not Enough, on p.p. 240 -245.....where I also gave some very effective ways of handling it.

You can handle this fear, but it will never go away completely. This fear is love's dark companion. It comes with it. But does it stop you from loving?

Sadly, for some of - it does.
You choose "the certainty" of not being hurt over the risks of what comes with being in love. It doesn't work, as you have discovered. Closing your heart, shutting down the flow of passion and the depth of feelings come with the price.
And the only "certainty" you do get is - the feeling that something is always missing.

What's the way out? How do we live without the need for this "certainty?"

We must learn to trust.

Trust who?

Trust YOURSELF. Trust You.
But which You? You have so many you(s) operating simultaneously.
Precisely.

You must learn to identify those parts of yourself, help some of them heal, make peace with the others, and discover the bigger YOU who is so expansive and free and unafraid, it will take your breath away.

That bigger YOU needs to get into the driving seat of your life.
All the other you(s) need to be given the relief papers.

"...But Auriela, how can I do it? What if it won't work? What if I lose everything? What if...?" "What if...?" I need to KNOW!!!! Before I let go and trust....!

And this is precisely where the pain is.

WHO needs to know?
WHO cannot trust?
The parts of you who long ago learned that in order to survive they need to be in control of things. The younger parts of you, that are still alive inside, and are still active.

Those 'you(s)' learned to suppress the innate wisdom and knowing the bigger YOU always had. Trusting yourself became "unsafe." Controlling life and people became a must.
It never worked of course.

And if you are honest with yourself and care to look back, you will see that every time your life did work it was because you didn't act out of these other you(s) and let the bigger YOU take the lead.

We have a saying: "There is Light at the end of the tunnel." And that's true.

We have all entered the tunnel.
And it is dark, and winding and uncomfortable as all get out. And we must keep moving forward if we ever want to get to the other side.

The light that shines from the other side is illuminating all the dark places in us and pulling them out into the open - to be seen, heard, loved and healed.
This light that will accept nothing less.

So come along. Join me on this adventure.

If you are not living in the Bay Area, in March I am starting to teach in New York City as well. The first introductory evening ( free) is on March 3d. Write to me for me details.

All for now,

With Love and Light,
Auriela.

Auriela McCarthy is the author of an Award- Winning book The Power of the Possible, a book of Hope and Inspiration. The book's multiple Awards include the 2008 USA National Best Book's Awards Finalist, Reader's Views Award and Mom's Choice Award. A modern day mystic, with both her feet planted deeply in the common sense, Auriela is a spiritual teacher, a metaphysician and a relationship expert. She hosts a radio show The Power of the Possible available 24/7 globally, ( see links above.) Auriela is the Founder of the School of Hope and Inspiration and is writing her next book. She lives in California with her husband Mykaell.

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Life at a Time of Chaos

2010-01-17T23:18:00.000-08:00

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"- We are not here to save anyone. We are here to love. To heal ourselves and to hold the light for others. And then the light will point the way."
- Auriela McCarthy

Hello, Dear Friends,

I am sure by now you've all noticed that there are some very volatile energies at play in our world at this time. The horror and tragedy of the situation in Haiti is a powerful example. So much pain, so much devastation, the chaos, the loss...the utter nightmare of it... .

This pain and destruction are the outer manifestations of what's going on for so many internally, right now, in their own private lives. You know what I am talking about. Things are not smooth, they haven't been smooth for quite a while, and because we are living at the time of great change, at a time of the monumental shift in Consciousness, we can expect more upheaval and more chaos and more change and the years unfolds.

The birthing process is not an easy one. The woman in labor is not a "happy camper." How about the World? Because this is exactly what's happening. We ARE birthing the New World. And since we have all been born and are living at this time, we might as well fasten our seat belts and get to work. Learn how to ride this wave of change with dignity.

"But Auriela, why are you saying these things? Why frighten us? You are the one who is always so positive and optimistic about the future...It's hard enough, Auriela, where is the hope? Where is The Possible you always talk about?"

This is precisely why I am writing this letter.

To shed some Light on chaos and crises and change, to share with you some productive ways of handling them, or better said - of harnessing them.

These changes are not "punishment from God" as some would have us believe. The Past is dying, regardless of our opinion on the matter. The old ways of being, of acting, of responding to life are not working too well and will work less and less. Dominating, controlling, overpowering, plowing through... is not going to do it.

This is what we will be working on this Tuesday night, January 18th, at the School of Hope and Inspiration. The understanding of chaos and crisis, and the technique to handle them. If you have been planning to come but haven't quite made it here, this might be the evening you don't want to miss.

And for those who live far away and can't join us, read the Food for Thought below. It will give you the Perspective and the Hope and the connection to the Power of the Possible and the Power of the Future, so you easier can navigate your way through.

A few words about the New Year's Resolutions, and what's wrong with the whole idea. I promised to write about it, but then I remembered that I already did, 2 years ago, in my blog. Here is a link to it.

You can return to here after you finish reading.

The Dangers of New Year's Resolutions

Here are the pages in "The Power of the Possible" that will help you handle change better. Just reading them will immediately shift your energy to a higher vibration: P.p. 26 -27; and p.p.32-37

To connect to Hope and to understand the Resonance of America, read p.p.32-36 and p.p.37-41

Also: the last Chapter: In Conclusion, p.p.255-258.

Food for Thought

Chaos always precedes Change and follows Change.

Positive or negative, chaos and change create disruption, break the routine, and having an established routine makes life easier, even if it is the routine you don't like.

This is one of the main reasons why change is frightening for so many: because of the chaos that surrounds it.

Here are some mundane examples:

A move, a job change, a marriage, a divorce, a promotion, being laid off or fired,
a birth of a child...I can go on and on. There is chaos before the event - and chaos after it.

Since our world is changing so dramatically, the chaos is unavoidable for all of us.

What is chaos?

It is something that has no order and no predictability.

Suddenly, things that were certain, like your job, or your relationship, or your health, or your living situation - are not. Learning how to live with the Uncertainty is the lesson we are all learning.

If you fight it - you will lose. ( this is the one thing that IS certain.)

If you flow with it and learn to trust in the Possible, in the good outcome, even if you can't see it, the Uncertainty will become your friend, and it will take you to the other side.

And this is where Hope comes in.
Hope: one of our MOST POWERFUL tools.
I cannot stress this enough.

Teach yourself how to hope, if it is not something that comes naturally. And take it seriously.
Regardless of how things look, hope for the good outcome, even against all odds.

Hope for the amazing, new and expansive Possibilities without trying to define them.
Allow yourself to be surprised by them, for they will always be more that what you can imagine.

Connect in this way to the positive, incredible Future, that you can't yet see from where you are, while in the midst of chaos and change.

It is a proven fact that people with serious maladies, those who have lost hope and therefore cannot imagine a positive future outcome for themselves, don't heal.
But as soon as they connect to the Possibility, to the Future, they begin to get better.

What gets them there? Hope.

And so will Gratitude.

If in the midst of chaos, you can find a way to feel grateful - you will begin to shift.
It is impossible to continue to feel unhappy if you touch gratitude.
Such an elegant way to change. To consciously remember something or someone you are grateful for. As soon as you do, you will feel lighter.

In the midst of chaos, understanding what's happening and why you feel the way you do is often enough to shift you to a better place.

Add to it Hope and Gratitude and Trust in the Future with a positive outcome, do it consciously- and you will have magic!

Here is an idea:

Write a little note to yourself, a reminder, and carry it in your pocket.

Put a post-it with these words on your mirror or on your dashboard.

This is not silly. This is - taking charge of your life. The opposite of controlling and overpowering.

Why make a note?

So you don't forget what to do, how to help yourself when you begin to spiral down. Because in the midst of emotions, gripped by fear or doubt, it is very hard to have a clear mind. So have the humility, put reminders around your space, until turning to Hope becomes automatic.

This is another step to living consciously.
YOU are the navigator of the ship called "My Life." Be a good captain. When going through the fog of chaos and change, turn to the Possibility, let the Positive Future pull you towards it.

Fear won't get you there. Feeling sorry for yourself won't either, nor would the good old fall-back - blame.

Hope and Trust and expecting that something good is on the way - will.

All for now.
See some of you on Tuesday the 18th.

Much love to you, always.

Auriela.

P.S. If it feels right, and you enjoy reading my newsletters, please, forward this blog to your friends and family. Better yet, suggest that they sign up to receive it.
Don't do it to change them, just to share.
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Pause??? But I Have So Much To Do!

2010-01-04T11:20:00.000-08:00

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Hello, dear friends,

Happy New Year!!!!

I know you haven't heard from me for a while.
It wasn't because I've been too busy with the Season or New Year's celebration.
For one reason or another, right in the midst of this usually very active time, I entered a very quiet phase.

It began somewhere in the middle of December and it is still going on to a degree, though I seem to be ready to come out of it.
During this time, to do anything but what was absolutely necessary - I would have had to force myself. Even writing this letter that I so love to do felt like too much effort...
Everything slowed down and stopped. I slowed down and entered a pause.
In this pause, in the depth of winter, I turned inward.

Read more about this in my Food for Thought below.

To my dear students-teachers who come to the Tuesday night classes, and to those of you who have been considering joining us for a while now, yet haven't quite made it:

This coming Tuesday, tomorrow night, we will be talking about what we will do this year. Bring your thoughts, bring your desires and your questions. This is a time of deepening. I can feel in my bones. I also know: you are ready.

A School of Hope and Inspiration

Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Gathering: 6:30PM -7PM
Class: 7PM - 9:30PM

RSVP for address and directions.
Classes are held in Southern Marin
Auriela@AurielaMcCarthy.com

I appreciate if everyone RSVPs, so I know how many seats we need.
Please, be on time, we will start promptly at 7pm

Food for Thought

Not much can be "accomplished" during the time of pause.
I put the word accomplished in quotation marks because in our culture, the word stands for tangible results. "Show me the money." "What have you 'done?' "

Not many people realize that any true achievements and accomplishment always start within.

Internal change precedes external results.
Choice always precedes action.
Forgiveness always precedes change. Never the other way around.

I don't have the tangible results of my time of pause.
I don't have more pages and pages of my new book written.
Not yet.

I attempted writing my weekly letter to you, several times, but nothing came out. It was the same with the book I had been writing, that had until then been so wonderfully all consuming.
I only had one or two bursts of creativity during that entire time...

No, this was not "a writer's block." I don't believe in writer's blocks.
To me, what people call "writer's blocks" are usually either self-pity or a time when you are simply not inspired, you can't find your creativity.

The answer to both is - to write anyway.
Because as you do, you will break through this state. You will step out of self-pity ( if this was the case,) and even if it wasn't, you will find your voice again, the creative juices will start flowing even if the first number of pages you write is only good for the waste basket.

You will break through. Then you can just discard these pages with gratitude and a chuckle. How often, since I had begun writing have I been grateful for the "delete" button on my own key boardJ!

So why didn't I follow my own advice and write then?

Because it was not what was going on with me.
I haven't been "blocked", nor was I sorry for myself. Something was pulling me inward, into deep introspection, into a deep pause.

And I honored it.
I honored myself in it. And frankly, I didn't have much choice in the matter.

Swimming upstream is hard. Fighting 'what is' is not just hard, it is pointless. And so I embraced it. I gave myself permission to flow with it, however long it took.

* * *

Life didn't stop of course.
I still worked with my private clients, I still taught on Tuesday nights at my School of Hope and Inspiration.
To show you how elegant life is, doing these things had not been an effort at all, but a pleasure and fun as it has always been.

A paradox, it seems, but something I could understand, because once I was working with people, the 'me' that was introspective and quiet would step aside, so I could be there for others with the same caring and awareness I had been before.

I am sharing this with you for two reasons mainly.
One, because I have always been intimate with you, my readers. I don't really know how not to be this way in anything I do - in by books, in my radio, in these letters, in one-on-one interactions.

If I can't share myself and be real, I'd rather not do it at all. And also, because I think reading about my quiet time may help you when your own quiet time comes, as it always does.
So that you recognize it, don't judge it or yourself, give yourself all the time and space you need.

Sadly, we live in a culture where you don't have the permission to do this. You are supposed "to buckle up," ignore your soul's call to pause, fight yourself and work harder. Which is never a good idea, of course, because you will slow down anyway, even if it takes getting a cold or a flue or worse.

Don't do it. Instead - you, give yourself permission to honor the pause when it comes.
Don't ignore it, don't force yourself to do more than absolutely necessary. Don't "plow through it."
Do what you need to do, continue to be responsible, don't let people down and don't sabotage yourself.

And at the same time - don't miss this great opportunity for growth and healing.

When a deep slowing down happens to you, it doesn't come out of nowhere, though it may often seem so.

Consider that perhaps - it is your soul calling on you, asking you to pay attention, to trust it, and not your ego that is telling you once again that something must be wrong with you.

Consider that perhaps something is very right, and respect this time of pause as your sacred time. A time when you integrate what you've learned, a time of deepening. Trust it, even if you don't know what exactly you are "integrating" or deepening. Your soul knows. And in time, you will too.

This phase won't go on forever. It will end, and you will emerge back into the light with new insights and deeper understandings. Be patient with yourself. You want to be more self-loving? This is how to do it. Besides, none of us have ever been too successful with overpowering the soul.

How much more elegant - to listen and to give it voice rather than fight it and get yourself sick - forced to stop because you refused to listen to 'whispers,' so they turned into 'shouts?'

The soul will get your attention either way. Because it knows the truth: the only reason you are here is to grow. Grow as a human being, grow spiritually.

Pausing and going inward is an essential part of growth.

Think about it.

* * *

I will write about the New Year's resolutions and what's wrong with the whole idea in my next letter.

I am sending you all my love. Thanks for being there, in cyberspace and in my life...being able to write to you is such a gift. What magic - to click a button and send my thoughts into the ethos. And to have someone there I may never know or meet read them and be touched by them.
My heart is overflowing.

All for now.
See some of you tomorrow,

Auriela.
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Why Forgive?

2009-12-10T09:14:00.000-08:00

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"- We are not here to save anyone. We are here to love. To heal ourselves and to hold the light for others. And then the light will point the way."
- Auriela McCarthy

Ask not what it will do for the perpetrator.
Ask what will it do for you.

Hello, Dear Driends,

I am writing this on the plane, flying home to San Francisco after a very short and the most fulfilling trip to New York.

My talk about the Mystery and Controversy of Forgiveness at the Reform Temple of Forest Hills was an extraordinary experience. It was a wonderful and warm group pf people, open-minded and welcoming.

I was asked excellent questions, among them - the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, what to do when the offenders do not express regret for their actions, and what it means "forgiving is for you, not for the abuser, while it is the abuser who has inflicted the pain."

I will touch upon these below, in this week's
Food for Thought.

* * *

The Holidays are upon us! I know that many of you have been continuously buying and giving The Power of the Possible to your friends and family members.

Here is what I'd like to do.
Holidays can get expensive and everything counts, especially these days.

I have a Holiday Offer available at my website, ThePowerOfThePossible.com.

Buy 2 copies of The Power of the Possible and I will include another wonderful book - Peak Vitality, with chapters from Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, John Gray, Marianne Williamson and also - yours truly:).

If you'd like me to, I will sign and inscribe each of the books to the person you are giving it. All you need to do is drop me a line after you have completed the purchase.

I am also offering a Holiday Coupon Special to my Blog and Newsletter readers.

The Award-Winning 10-CD Unabridged Audio Book of The Power of the Possible, recorded by me and normally priced at $79.95, will be available for $45.00!

Use the coupon code HOLIDAY DISCOUNT when you purchase the Audio Book 10-CD Set to receive my special holiday price of only $45.00.

This Audio Book will make a great gift for someone who spends a lot of time in the car or for anyone whose life doesn't leave them much time to snuggle with a book.

I will also include Peak Vitality with the Audio Book. By the way, the only place the Audio Book is available is my Website.

I also have a very few of the collectible books - the unedited version of The Power of the Possible, issued prior to publication. It includes a CD with the excerpts from the book, again - recorded my me.
This will be on the first come - first serve basis. I have never offered any of it to anyone. You can have it for the same price as the regular book (including the Holiday Offer.) Just to drop me a line saying that to send you this one and not the regular edition.

"Revenge is the poison you drink hoping that it will kill you enemies."
- Nelson Mandela.

This week's Food for Thought are my answers to the questions I posed for you in the last letter:

1.-Why forgive?

So that you can finally find peace.

The person that is at peace with himself does not want to start wars, he doesn't want to kill, to get revenge, to prove himself right...

When you are at peace with yourself - you accept yourself, you don't try to be perfect (which it impossible and so you always fail at it.) You accept other people, you are able to set proper boundaries, you are much more capable to help others...

Do you want to do good in the world?
Do you want to be loving and kind and giving to your family and loved ones?
Do you want to not be judgmental and to be compassionate instead?

- Become a forgiving person.

Otherwise, regardless of your very best intentions - you will continue to snap, or loose your temper, or be hurtful, or punish by pouting and withdrawing into silences, or whatever else it is you do. (Not sure? - Ask the ones who love you and put up with it. They will tell you, if you promise not to argue back and not to punish.)

- Become a forgiving person.

Do it for YOURSELF, so you can begin to live free from pain - and if this is not enough of a motivation - do it for the ones you love. How much more will you be able to give to them! How much better you will be able to love them!

Think about it.

Imagine a world populated by people who have found peace through forgiveness and through self-forgiveness? What a different world it would be.

And it doesn't mean you are now to take the ones you forgave back into your life. Not at all. Not unless you want to.

Forgiveness does NOT mean Reconciliation. You forgive pragmatically. For yourself. It does not take away their responsibility and accountability. But it is no longer your business.

Let the proper authorities deal with it, if it applies. As for you - you are setting yourself free from all that happened.

Nelson Mandela's words ring so true: "Revenge is the poison you drink hoping that it will kill you enemies."

Stop drinking it. It is killing YOU.

2.-Who deserves forgiveness, and when do they deserve it?

It is not about 'deserving' or 'not deserving, nor about 'when' do they deserve it.

Who deserves forgiveness? YOU do! If you were hurt or abused - do you now deserve to live with this pain forever????

You are the one who has all the power. You have the POWER TO FORGIVE! No one can give it to you and no one can take it away.

Discover it! Use it to set yourself free.

This is also true if you are the perpetrator of someone else's pain and if the person you need to forgive is yourself.
Read answer to question #1.

And if you want to make sure you never do anything like that again, the only way to ensure it is to forgive yourself for it.

Not easy, I know.

But possible. Absolutely possible.

The Forgiveness Meditations I have on the Home page of my website ( center page, to the right) work! Download them. They are my gift to you. Just like I once received them as a gift. Use them. They do work!!!!

3.-Is forgiveness for the victim or for the perpetrator?

For the victim! Of course for the victim. If the perpetrators are changed by your forgiveness of them - good. But their crime is between them and their conscience. Between them and God.

Don't wait for an apology to become free. If the apology comes - good, if it doesn't - are you going to give THEM the Power to set you free?

What if they don't care? What if they are dead?...Do you see how absurd it can get?

4.-Which (if any) conditions must be met before we can forgive?

None. Read the answer above.

Develop the awareness and the understanding of why you need to do it. That's all. Read this letter a few times, on different days perhaps, and - let it in.

5.-Is there a crime that is "unforgivable"?

In truth - not. But there are things we as society and individually have deemed to be beyond forgiveness. It is a long and painful list - murder, cruelty to children, incest, genocide, rape...I do not need to finish the list. It is endless. And yet - here lies the Paradox of Forgiveness.

Even these crimes must be forgiven if we are to stop them from happening and - if we are ever to be free from that pain.

But how? you ask. I wrote about it so much...on pp.119 to 126 in The Power of the Possible. You are going to have to read it, again or for the first time, if you want to understand this deeper. I really can't go into more in the format of this letter.

6.-Do only people who have met the conditions deserve forgiveness?

See the answers above.

7.-How do you forgive yourself when you don't believe you deserve forgiveness?

Tell yourself the truth about what you did and let yourself feel what comes. Not your self-hate, but your remorse. This takes courage and strength. If you let yourself - you will know the difference. Why should you? Read answer #1.

8.-Why is remorse often the hardest thing to feel?

It is much easier to judge yourself as unworthy. You've done it most of your life. Everyone has. And - it is too scary to honestly look at yourself. You are too afraid you will discover something ugly. Amazingly, what you will discover if you stay with your feelings and don't cut them off, is how beautiful and human you actually are. This alone is worth giving it a try!

9.-Is forgiveness an act of will? A choice? Or is it Divine Grace?

It is all of the above.

You have to be willing to end the pain, make the choice to do it, and take the steps to forgive.

And with it -
the Ultimate Forgiveness can only be received. It is one of the greatest mysteries and will always remain that. Forgiveness is a gift, the Diving Grace. You must to your part. Then - you will receive it. A sacred gift, it will change your forever.

If this touches you - you can read more on p.124 of The Power of the Possible.

10. - Why no change is possible without forgiveness happening first?

If you've tried changing your behavior patterns or your life without forgiving what had brought you to being this way in the first place, you have no doubt discovered that simply making a decision to be different was not enough.

Forgiveness always precedes all change.
Change is the by-product of forgiveness. Forgive, and your life will change. Forgive - and you will begin to see everything through different eyes, truer eyes. Forgive - and reap the bounty. Don't' forgive, fight for your right 'to be right' - and nothing will change. Both you and your life will remain the same

You are a being with free will. As am I, and as is everyone else on this planet.

To forgive or not to forgive?
The choice is yours. Choose freedom!

All for now.
See some of you on Tuesday the 18th.

Much love to you, always.
Remember: never ever give up hope!
Auriela.

P.S. If it feels right, and you enjoy reading my blog, please, share it with your friends and family.
Don't do it to change them, just to share.
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"Love Means Never Having to Say You are Sorry?????"

2009-11-30T16:13:00.000-08:00

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"- We are not here to save anyone. We are here to love. To heal ourselves and to hold the light for others. And then the light will point the way."
- Auriela McCarthy

"Love means never having to say you are sorry?????"

Hello, dear friends,

A few announcements first.

For those of you living in New York City or close by.

Please, join me on Sunday, December 6, 2009 at 10:00am at The Reform Temple of Forest Hills, New York. I will be speaking at their Life-Long Learning Annual Brunch. The topic I chose will not surprise you:

Time Doesn't Heal All Wounds, Forgiveness Will.
The Controversy and Mystery of Forgiveness.
Here are the details:

The Reform Temple of Forest Hills
71-11 112th St Forest Hills, NY 11375
(718) 261--2900; www.rtfh.org
Sunday, December 6, 2009 at 10:00AM

It would be great if you could make it!
If so, call them for reservations. The event is free, donations are appreciated, and everyone is welcome. If you do come, make sure you come over and say hello.

For those living in Sonoma County, (North of the Bay Area) mark your calendars for December 17th, 2009 at 7:30 pm.

I will be speaking at Many Rivers Books and Tea in Sebastopol. The topic? ....Forgiveness.
Yes - again.
I don't think we can ever speak enough about it. More - in The Food for Thought below.

Many Rivers Books & Tea
130 S. Main Street, Suite 101
Sebastopol, CA 95472
(707) 829-8871
www.manyriversbooks.com
December 17th, 2009 at 7:30 pm.

Today's Food for Thought.

Both in my life and in my work, I come across so many misconceptions around forgiveness.

Think about the famous line from the book and the movie
"Love Story." "Love means never having to say you are sorry."

I can't even begin to imagine what it means.... How many times have I heard it quoted?!

Why? Because is sounds romantic? Does it?

First of all - it is simply not true.
Loving means (among other things) being responsible to the person you love, and so - if indeed you did something you regret, something hurtful and wrong, you need to feel it and then - to say you are sorry - genuinely. It is the least you can do.

Saying you are sorry and - being forgiven, however, are two very different things.

As is - saying you are sorry and - forgiving yourself for what you did.

To forgive yourself - you have to know what you are forgiving. In other words, feel remorse for your actions. Otherwise, what is there to forgive if you don't really regret it?

If all you are doing is - saying the words, you will never feel forgiven. Even if the other person forgives you.

And yet - feeling remorse remains one of the hardest things to feel.

Self-hate is easy. Self- recrimination? No problem. Self-judgment - easy again. You've done it all your life.

But remorse?

To let yourself really feel the sadness of having done something you cannot undo? Quite another story, isn't it? And there is no circumventing it. No short-cuts way to get to the other side.

"But, Auriela, why should I even bother, if it is so hard?"

Where to begin to answer that?

Let's look at another line that is thrown about so much these days: "Just love yourself." Or: "I am just going to love myself."
Meaning - if you want to have love work in your life, you must learn to love yourself.

Which is correct. This IS the truth. Except, as many have discovered, it's easier said than done.

Because unless you are able to forgive yourself for the things you've pushed under the rug and pretended to have forgotten - loving yourself simply won't happen.

Life is about growth, whether we like it or not. That's why we have no short-cuts to avoid feeling remorse.

Just the other day a friend shared with me something that may or may not surprise you. A couple of months ago she ended a relationship with a man after she had discovered a rather ugly betrayal. (An oxymoron, I know.)

She has been working with healing the pain and regaining herself and she is making beautiful progress. She is ready to look at forgiving herself and forgiving him for what had happened between them, so she can begin to let go and to allow deeper healing.

But her friends are up in arms. "Forgive him???!!! Are you crazy? You should never ever forgive that bastard!..."

We spent a good hour or more on the phone today just talking about it.

The "Crabs in the box" phenomenon, yet again. Remember that one?

I wrote about it here not that long ago. If you haven't read it, you can find it in my blog, just go back to earlier posts. It's worth it.

Her friends' reaction is a good illustration of the lack of understanding around forgiveness. That's why I am calling my talk : The controversy of forgiveness.

Here is something I want you to think about - to ask yourself and to answer.

Take the time, please. Don't rush even if the answers appear obvious, and especially if they are not. The better and deeper you can explain your answers to yourself the clearer you are going to be.

-Why forgive?
-Who deserves forgiveness, and when do they deserve it?
-Which (if any) conditions must be met before we can forgive?
-Do only people who have met the conditions deserve forgiveness?
-Is forgiveness for the victim or for the perpetrator?
-Is there a crime that is "unforgivable"?
-How do you forgive yourself when you don't believe you deserve forgiveness?
-Why is remorse often the hardest thing to feel?
-Is forgiveness an act of will? A choice? Or is it Divine Grace?

And finally: Why no change is possible without forgiveness happening first?

The last question is my invitation to think and to imagine:
What life would you be living if your past didn't hold you back?

Not sure abut the answers?

I have written about this so much in The Power of the Possible. It is on pp. 96-98, 98-101, it is in the chapter
To Stay or To Leave, Forgiving the Unforgivable - pretty much through the entire chapter, especially from pp.115 -126, and you haven't read this chapter before, read the whole thing, you will do yourself a disservice by reading just these pages.
Also on p. 231 and on, in the chapter When Love Is Not Enough, where I explain remorse and why it is one of the hardest things to feel.

Read these passages, even if you have read them already. Your will read them with different eyes this time because you have grown and you have changed and your ability to understand has deepened.

It is always like that, with any book. That's why we experience them differently at different times. It is not the book that changes with time, but you.

* * *

On another subject: So many of you responded to my request in the last letter and sent me your lists of qualities you are grateful for in yourselves! THANK YOU! You have inspired me so much! An I know - you have inspired yourselves!!!

If space permits, I will share some of your responses in the next letter.

All for now.

Hope to see some of you on Sunday in New York!
And of course, - here in Marin, tomorrow night.

Much love to you, always.

Remember: never ever give up hope!
Auriela.
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Don't You Just Love this Wonderful American Holiday?!

2009-11-28T16:26:00.000-08:00

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Hello, dear friends,

Thanksgiving!

Don't you just love this wonderful American holiday?!

A holiday dedicated to giving thanks, feeling grateful!

Not every country has this tradition.
But we do.

It is so easy to take it for granted. Let's not do that.

Let's talk about it instead. I have a story to share with you.

It is this week's Food for Thought.

A School of Hope and Inspiration

This Tuesday November 24, 2009
Gathering: 6:30PM -7PM - Class: 7PM - 9:30PM

email an RSVP for address and directions.
Classes are held in Southern Marin

Here is this week's Food for Thought.

A story from my own life.

A few years ago I felt like throwing an elegant party my birthday.

I decided to do it at a wonderful local restaurant, in a cozy and comfortable banquet room that felt just right.
I believe we had about 25 people at the party, seated at four tables, 6 people per table or so. It was an intimate gathering of friends, where most people knew each other very well.

Dinner was served, then desert. "Happy Birthday" was sung and I blew out my candles. The toasts were about to start, when I got up and said something unexpected.

"Let's do something different tonight," I said.
"I want to dedicate this evening to gratitude. I want everyone to take turns and to speak about what you are grateful for in yourself."

Their eyebrows raised, my friends were shifting in their seats. What????

I continued.

"No, not the things you have achieved, like a great family, friends, success at work, a wonderful house you bought or built because of your accomplishments, not the car you love, not your good health ...
These all wonderful, and clearly something you are grateful for.

"But instead of talking about them, tell us about the qualities in you that are grateful for. What you like about yourself as a human being. Like kindness, thoughtfulness, caring, ability to forgive, hunger for spirituality, pursuit of personal growth..."

The longer I spoke, the more inspired I felt. I was getting so excited it was contagious, I could see my friends getting
excited as well. The temperature in the room was rising high.

"But Auriela, how could you? Don't you know how immodest it is to brag about yourself? Wouldn't they then be in their ego? How can you just ask people to praise themselves? Someone else has to do it..."

I beg to differ.

You are only in your ego if you speak from your ego.
Only if by acknowledging the beautiful things in you, you mean that you are somehow superior. Better than others.

Owning your light is not bragging.
It is simply standing in your power and refusing not to be who you are.
It is admitting the truth to yourself: Yes, I am that powerful, that loving and that kind. Or - I am that forgiving and accepting of others and I am also a helpful friend. (If these are your qualities.) And if they are not - admitting the ones that are.

If you won't own them in yourself, how can you expect others to do it?
Acknowledge them, feel grateful for having them. Some of them you are born with, others you have developed.

There is tremendous power in owning your light. And this power scares you.
What will be asked of me? Worse, what would be expected or demanded of me?
And what if I fail? What if I can't deliver? ...

Scary? Yes. Powerful and exhilarating? You bet!

You see the beauty in other people. You often tell them about it. What about your own beauty?

This is what I wanted to do at my birthday party. To have my friends look at themselves with gratitude and then - to speak out loud about what they saw.

Speak it and be heard and witnessed, thus - grounding it, making it real.

The room was suddenly quiet. I was so excited I could barely contain myself.
Once again I repeated my request. Once again I clarified it.

"Who wants to be first?" I asked.

There was a pause...And then - it began.
One by one and without particular order my friends rose to the occasion and met themselves!

A single mother spoke about how grateful she was for her courage, and for her incredible perseverance...
A man in his 40ies spoke about how loving he was and how natural it was for him to just let go and to not hold a grudge...
Another man shared how happy it made him to know that he was always there for his family and that they could always count on him...
A young woman spoke about being a loyal friend.
Another spoke about her passion for living, and how grateful she was that she never lost it, no matter how hard life used to be.

What can I say?

It was unbelievable. Each person held a mirror for another.
We forgot about the cake, we forgot about time. The waiters, sensing something sacred was going on, stood motionless, as if in reverie. The magic in the room was palpable, everyone's face was lit, more beautiful than I've ever seen.
It was electric, the energy rising with each sharing.

I was the last one to go.

"I am grateful for being me," I began.

I said a lot of things that were true for me then, and just like with everyone else that evening, acknowledging them out loud made me feel as if I suddenly had eagle wings.
Some of the things I said I remember, some I don't.

I will tell you what I am grateful for in myself today.
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And in return, would you do the same thing?
Write your own list. Thanksgiving is in 3 days. What better time than now?
Do it for you. Give yourself this gift. It will change your life in ways you can't even imagine right now.

I will be honored if you share it with me and I will keep it like a very precious gift.
I will be happy to print it here in the next letter if you give me permission, (with your name or without, whatever you say.)

Or share it with someone who is trustworthy and will support you. And if you don't have such a person - don't share it until you do.

Here is my partial list, the real one is too long:

-I am grateful for the gift of being able to love so deeply.

-For my incredible imagination.

-For my ability to think well, and to feel with the richness and depth,
and to have perspective, to no longer be run by my feelings.

-I am grateful for my trust that is unshakable, for my knowing that the good will always prevail, that there is higher order and a bigger picture and that I am never alone...

-I am grateful for my gift to inspire, especially - to inspire myself, for without it I cannot live.

-For my always reaching for freedom, regardless of the circumstances.

-For never giving up, for my ever present hope that is part of who I am.

-For knowing what matters and what doesn't
-For being clear on my most important priorities
-For being born with a happy disposition, for my innate optimism.

-For the courage, that is so much a part of me,

-For my spirituality, so rich is so real, and so all - encompassing.

A partial list, like I said. Why then am I so moved?
Write your own, and you will experience it too.

It was an amazing party that I will never forget. We didn't want it to end and we took its magic home with us.

Perhaps you will be inspired to try it this Thanksgiving, or at another time that feels right.

All for now.

See some of you this Tuesday.

Thank all of you for reading my long letters, and for your wonderful and loving support.
I treasure it and never take it for granted.

Much love to you, always.

Remember: never ever give up hope!

Auriela.

P.S. If it feels right, forward this blog to your friends and family.
Don't do it to change them, just to share.

It's Not The Old Age That Ages You!

2009-11-17T19:32:00.000-08:00

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"- We are not here to save anyone. We are here to love. To heal ourselves and to hold the light for others. And then the light will point the way."
- Auriela McCarthy

Hello, dear friends,

Another week has gone by...
In 8 days we will be celebrating Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday!

Isn't it wonderful that in this country, we have a national holiday designated to feeling grateful.
What a fabulous tradition!

And once again I am overwhelmed with gratitude for you, my readers and listeners... and I am deeply humbled. With all the available sources of information that are competing for your time and attention, you choose to read my Food for Thought emails and to listen to my radio shows, and so many of you do it regularly...when I let it in, I am close to tears.

You might have noticed that I haven't put up any new radio shows for a couple of weeks now. Here is why.

Webtalkradio.net has invested a lot of money into completely redoing their website. The new one will be fabulous and will be up and running very shortly.
So here is something you might be interested in.

If you have a business that can use consistent national and international exposure to targeted audience, I am now able to offer you something amazing.

Around 30,000 plus people are downloading my show every week, consistently, for a very long time. Think about it. 30,000 people or more. (!)
These are not random listeners, who are in their car when the show is on. These are the people who consciously take time every week to listen and to re-listen to the show.

That means they WILL hear about your business if we tell them about it.

Internet radio advertising is ridiculously inexpensive in comparison to broadcast radio. If you want to advertise on my show, I can do it for you starting with $50 a week (!) yes, you read it correctly.

$50 to $100, to $200-300 a week tops, depending on the options. But even with $50 you get a lot! A consistent exposure to an audience that is growing all the time, who often forwards the podcasts to their friends.
Another the beautiful thing is that once the show is recorded, the information about you and your service remains there! Whether you still have a contract or not. Your banner, your logo, your voice or mine, telling them about your business...

I can take 3 or 4 advertisers, no more. I also need to do it, because the cost of running the show without advertisers has become too high.

If you are interested, send me a quick email and I will send you all the details. Then you can decide if it makes good business sense for you or not.

A School of Hope and Inspiration

Today, Tuesday November 17, 2009
Gathering: 6:30PM -7PM Class: 7PM - 9:30PM

RSVP for address and directions.
Classes are held in Southern Marin
email Auriela@AurielaMcCarthy.com
I appreciate if everyone RSVPs,
so I know how many seats we need.
Please, be on time, we will start promptly at 7pm

Here is this week's Food for Thought.

Back to Thanksgiving.

What better time to be talking about Gratitude - my favorite subject?

Yet something else is coming through, and when it happens, I listen.
So here it is.

The holiday season is upon us, and with it - for many - the dreaded "obligation" of having to be around someone you've been successfully avoiding all year.
In other words - having to see people with whom you still have "unfinished business." Unfinished emotionally.

You are still hurt or angry or resentful about what happened between you in the past and this past is still very much alive in you. You have not let it go.

This unfinished business is not something benign. And therefore not something you can continue to ignore. Because it is draining your energy.

Here is how it works.

As long as you have strong feelings about a person: feel they have hurt you, are angry at them or hate them, "can't stand them", etc. etc. you remain energetically connected to them.
There are invisible cords that are holding the two of you together, the cords that stretch indefinitely, because when it comes to energy, distance and time lose their meaning.

As long as you keep these feelings alive, the cords between you are alive a well.

Why should you worry about the stupid cords that you can't even see?

For starters, because they cause you to lose your energy.

Thank God you have been born with a lot of it, otherwise you would have been depleted long ago.
But you are leaking it, energy that is - your life force. The force with which you build your life, create your dreams, make things happen...

Why do you think kids have so much energy? Adolescents as well? They haven't yet leaked enough of it out.
It is a myth that we have less energy because of age.

We have less energy because of age-old resentments.

Haven't you seen some amazingly beautiful, radiant older people, who are simply bursting with life? They seem so free, and so wise. And in their wisdom - so innocent. How did they get there? What's their secret?

They have let go of their painful past.
In one lump sum, or piece by piece.

One way or another, through innate wisdom or inner work - they have been able to let the past be the past.

They have set it down by the side of the road and - walked away.

They stopped carrying it on their back. That's why they are not bent like so many other people their age. They have amazing posture, and - they laugh a lot. So old - and yet, having so much fun? How totally against everything you have been taught to believe...

Because it is not old age that break's your back. It is age-old resentments that do it.
And - your resistance to letting them go.

I know you've heard all this before. Too many times. So many, that you have stopped hearing the truth behind these words.

The truth is: You are the one with the key to your prison. Not the person who hurt you. But - you.

Is it worth it to lose your life to whatever happened a long time ago?
Is it worth it to keep leaking and leaking your energy?
Until you've lost so much of it, it's past the point of no return?

Of course not.

Listen.

There is so much wonder that lies ahead! So many new possibilities!
Let these holidays be the time you start fresh.

Release all the people that caused you pain, whether they are alive or dead.
And release yourself from the pain of what you've deemed "unforgivable" in you.

Say: Enough.
Make that choice.

Like one incredible woman who had survived Auschwitz said:
"Hitler got 4 years of my life. I am not giving him one more day!"

If she could do it, so can anyone. Including you!

"But Auriela, you don't know what happened to me...besides I already tried to let go...and it didn't work."

Sorry, but I am not buying it.
Are you?

You might have tried, but you have never really made the choice to be done.

Come on, it's just you and the computer page. No one is listening. Not even I, the one who wrote that page. Right here, right now - tell yourself the truth.
And then - forgive yourself for keeping yourself prisoner to that past.
Forgive yourself for wanting vindication, or apology or whatever else it would be really nice to get...

You don't need it. Not really. Your ego does, but not you. What you need is your freedom. So give it to yourself - and be surprised:

It is not just possible to let go and move on, it may turn out to be easier than you can imagine.

If you read The Power of the Possible, remember the Chapter: The Son Who Forgave His Father? Or the Chapter: The Wife of an Alcoholic? These are true stories, of people like you and me.

Let their lives be your inspiration. Read these Chapters again, even if you have read them already. Read them with new eyes. They may change your life.

Watch my video on forgiveness on YouTube, download the 2 forgiveness meditations from the Home page of my website - and do them. (all the links are below.) They work! I have endless testimonials from people whose lives were changed by them.

It is a choice: To hold on to the past or - to drop it.
Holding on comes with a lot of juicy stuff: you can keep blaming, you can keep "being right" you can keep explaining away your unhappiness...
The juicy stuff is poison. Throw it out.

Don't wait for the New Year and another set of New Year's Resolutions...
Right here, right now - let this Thanksgiving be your New Beginning.
Celebrate yourself and your Power to Choose! You were born with it, even if you didn't always know it.
You do now. Contemplate this miracle. Let it fill you with Wonder!

All for now.
See some of you today, Tuesday the 17th.

Much love to you, always.

Remember: never ever give up hope!
Auriela.
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How Can A Good Book Be Bad For Me?

2009-11-10T12:48:00.000-08:00

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Hello, dear friends,

Last night I finished reading yet another beautifully written book that had made me feel bad.

What do I mean by bad? - Hopeless.
And it takes a lot to make me feel this way.

It didn't last of course, because it is so foreign to who I am. Still, I was affected. I had to consciously shift out of this energy by remembering the truth: That goodness, beauty and truth always prevail.

Then I thought about the love I have
in my life and all the beautiful things I am grateful for.

After that - I sat down to write this email.

This is the third book I read recently that was filled with lonely people and "no way out," where the author touched the depth of human pain and found so little hope for the future of the human condition.

I could not put the book down because the story was gripping and very well written.

Because as I writer- I take such deep pleasure in well-written prose (poetry too, of course.) For me it is an aphrodisiac, food for soul, an awe-inspiring experience - reading good literature. And because I was hoping that in the end I will be lifted out of the dreary darkness into the light of hope and possibility.

Alas, it did not happen.

Here is this week's Food for Thought.

When you read a book, you get the author's perspective on life, and if the author is pessimistic by nature, no matter how well the book is written, you will be affected by this energy.

That's why, by the time I put each of these books down - I was overcome with immeasurable sadness.

Not the sadness you feel because you love the book so much you wanted it to go on forever. But the overall sadness about life. As if human beings are destined to live in pain, unable to express their deepest longings, unable to ever be understood by the ones they love.

Luckily I know better, and I know this is not true.
Luckily I am strong enough not to buy into this paradigm and it didn't take me long to shift back to my normal self.

But what about the readers who are more susceptible to hopelessness?

It will just "confirm what they already know," wouldn't it?
Bring them down, contribute to their unhappiness, create a chain reaction of things not working out...(read on, I will explain what I mean.)

You notice I am not mentioning the books' titles here.
I do not want to promote this way of seeing the world.
I have never subscribed to it. And I also I know it is not true.

Hopelessness never had any appeal for me. Even at those times when I had no logical reason for hope of any kind. And I had those times in my life. Just like you did. Just like everyone living on this planet did.

It was the grace of God that somehow, in ways I could never find words to describe at the time, I always knew that something better was possible and that it was possible for me too.

I was lucky to have that. To be born knowing this innately.
Back in the former Soviet Union, my old English teacher used to call me "a butterfly", implying someone not "deep" enough to see "the gravity of life."

Little did we both know that in its mysterious ways the Universe was giving me a wink. A butterfly: a symbol of transcendence. Not transformation, because the butterfly is not a better, improved version of a former caterpillar but a different species all together.

A species that has transcended the form and conditions where it was doomed to crawl and - grew wings, and a colorful body and became something entirely new, something that would discover the beauty of flowers and the freedom of flying to the sky.

Why am I writing about it today, and why did I start with mentioning the books I read?

Remember the Law of Resonance? I talked and wrote about it so much, in The Power of the Possible, in my radio shows and in one of these newsletters as well.
I will continue to talk about it for years to come, because more and more - our world is moving into
resonant reality causation.
More and more, and faster and faster.

Think about it.
Resonant reality causation. Now that's a mouthful. Indeed, it is. But what does it mean???

In a few words: Like attracts like. Which is nothing new, except in this fast-changing world it is not something you can continue to ignore. Like also generates like. Multiplies it, attracts it.

Watch a movie with a dark, negative message showing you that things never work out... spend even 10 minutes with a pessimistic, cynical person listening to them blame and complain...read a book, even a well-written one that shows you that you "live alone and you die alone"...and see
what happens to how you feel.

And once you feel low, unhappy, irritable -
watch things beginning to fall apart all around you:
a fight with a loved one, a business deal canceled, a telephone call with bad news...

Think it is a coincidence?
Come on. Even school children today know better than that.

Now - go spend an hour walking on the beach, or go dancing, or watch a good comedy, or call a friend who always makes you feel good because of his or her positive, optimistic attitude. And - notice how you feel.
Then - go and make that business call, ask for that deposit on a sale, call for ticket to a sold -out concert - and see what happens!

That's what Resonant Causation means.
Your resonance - creating your reality for you.

The sum total of the energies your carry ( which are all - vibrational frequencies), the entire spectrum of them, from hopelessness to joy - that form a standing wave of energy: Your own Personal Resonance.

If you want to understand it deeper - it is on pages 32 to 38 in The Power of the Possible. If the book is on your book shelf - pull it out and read theses few pages.
Even if it is nothing new to you.

Understanding this and living from this place is so important, it needs to becomes second nature to you. So that you leave the conversation as soon as you hear about "doom and gloom," so that you recognize when you yourself are not in a positive place and so DON'T make an important call, DON'T go on that important date...until you consciously shift into a different resonance.

I wrote about it in Chapter One of the book, because I wanted to set the tone for rest of it. It is that important. If you don't have the book yet, get it and read these pages. Understand how it works. It appears simple, yet it is very complex. Take it seriously.
A short while from now this truth will become common knowledge.

The better you understand it and live by it, the better your life will work and the happier you will feel.

But Auriela, why did you read three books in a row that have a negative message?

Guilty as charged. Lesson learned yet again!
I was drawn in, because they were so well written.
I hunger for good literature and I was hoping for a different ending.

If your read something wonderful lately, please, share with me, I would really appreciate it.

All for now.

P.S. If it feels right, and you enjoy reading my blog, please, forward this to your friends and family. Better yet, suggest that they sign up to receive it.
Don't do it to change them, just to share.
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Being Busy Doing What You Love....What's the Problem?

2009-11-03T10:31:00.000-08:00

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Hello, dear friends,

Thanks to everyone who confirmed receiving my newsletter. Thanks for your warm and wonderful responses! I will be asking this a couple more time to make sure most of you read it.
Please, send me a few words telling me that these emails reach you. Because many are still being lost in cyberspace and I am trying to figure out how many and if it is something I can fix on my end.

On another, somewhat related subject: I love responding to all your emails. I love receiving them and love writing back.
When it takes me longer to do it, please, forgive me. Know that as soon as I read your email I want to stay at the computer and write you back.
My brain is filling with answers to your questions and if I don't exercise some discipline, I can spend a few hours a day doing that.
Often, I don't have these too hours. Which made me pause and think. And became Today's Food for Thought below.

A School of Hope and Inspiration

Tuesday, Novemeber 10, 2009
Gathering: 6:30PM -7PM Class: 7PM - 9:30PM
(notice: no class on November 3.)

RSVP for address and directions
Classes are held in Southern Marin

I appreciate if everyone RSVPs, so I know how many seats we need.
email Auriela@AurielaMcCarthy.com
Please, be on time, we will start promptly at 7pm

Here is this week's Food for Thought.

Not that long ago I wrote about the importance of knowing your Priorities and having them in the right order.
Knowing what comes first, what comes second and so on.

I suggested making a list. Sitting down with pen and paper, thinking about what matters, and writing it down, in a column.
Then - analyzing your list, and arranging it in the order of importance.

Why is the order important?

Because of The Law of Priorities.
Because if your priorities are out of order, you don't get to have them.
You may get a few here and there but no more.

The good news is:
if your priorities are in order, you will get all of them,
or at least - most of them.

Last week I decided to take a look at mine, again. I made my list.
And looked at it long and hard.
And then I laughed.

No wonder I was not feeling like myself.
As if something was missing.
Nothing was missing. On the contrary -
I had too much on my plate!

All of it - wonderful, a feast, a celebration...and still - too much. As if I've come to the banquet with a fabulous buffet, tables loaded with delicious foods I love to eat, and instead of wisely taking some and passing other offerings - in my excitement, I kept on loading my plate.

Few things feel better than suddenly getting clarity.
This is why I laughed when I saw my list, written in my own hand, staring back at me.

What am I talking about?

Read on. Today's newsletter is about me.

If you see the similarities with your own life - great.
Hey, haven't we always hoped to learn from other people's mistakes?

It might actually work in this case because many of you are probably in the same boat.

Here is what I discovered looking at my list of priorities.

I have allowed myself to get too busy.

Busy doing the things I love to do, that's true.
Just too many of them.

As a result, there was always something I wasn't getting to. Too often I was behind on many things...I was staying up late, trying to catch up...And it didn't feel good.

"But Auriela, didn't you just say that you are busy doing the things you love to do? Aren't you lucky? So many people hate their jobs...don't you know that?"

I do. I am very aware of this sad fact. I think hating your job and staying there year after year is one of the worst things you can do to yourself.
I believe you must either change the way you feel about your job ( if it is possible) or get out. Get out without sabotaging yourself, but thinking it through, preparing and then - going for it!

To continue doing what you hate - is like signing your own death sentence. No overstatement.
This subject is very important and deserves its own newsletter. Another time perhaps.

Yes, I am doing what I love to do. And I am so very grateful for the life I have.

It hasn't always been so.

It took a few powerful and difficult choices and a lot of guts.
Acting in spite of my fears and trusting myself even when I didn't have the answers...

It took being willing to make mistakes and refusing to give up. Refusing to settle for a life that might have fewer risks, but would require my giving up on my dreams.
And - on myself.

It took never loosing hope, even in the darkest times...
If you read The Power of the Possible, I have written about it intimately, not holding back.

The life I am living now didn't just happen.
I know how I got here.

I also know how it happened that I am involved in so many things, loving all of them...

It has been an amazing journey and I am right in the midst of it now...

And yet - it is time to pause.

To prioritize.

To choose which of my activities to keep, which to put on hold and which to let go of.

Because I have become so busy I started to lose my enthusiasm.

And it is my natural state, an essential part of who I am.
When I don't feel it - I am not myself. It is a sign that something is off.
Feeling enthusiasm about life - feeling inspired, excited, lifted by something that is beyond words - is among the best feelings in the world.

For me, it is a priority.

What happened?

I have bitten off more than I can chew.

Here is the partial list:

-I record a weekly one hour-long radio show, which I love.

-I write a weekly newsletter ( the one you are reading now.) I love doing that too.

-I receive emails from the readers of The Power of the Possible, and I try to respond to each one of them, in depth, the best I can. I love doing it and I very much want to.

-I have A School of Hope and Inspiration with weekly evening classes, and occasional one-day workshops...I love this work.

-I work with private clients - in person and long-distance, on the phone. I love doing that.

-Now and then I have a speaking engagements -I love that too.

-I am writing my next book, which is sweeping me away, into a different world and other dimensions...Do I love writing it? I LOVE it!
( this list is not in order. Otherwise, WHY is the book at the end of it?!!!???) Good question.

-And -I still have my fine art business, and there are parts of it that I love too.

-And oh yes...I am in a relationship with a magnificent man, my husband, and I love being with him. (this IS always on top of my list, blessedly I never forget it.)

- I have a tiny grand daughter - 4 months old, in New York and I try to go there often, for a few days so I can see her grow. I am in love with her.

-I am blessed with wonderful friends and I love to be able to spend time with them.

-I love to hike or go on walks, to get lost in a book, to see movies, to take time for myself, to simply do nothing - such a wonderful thing...
-I like to have time to exercise. And I love how it makes me feel afterward.

All this - AND the every day business of living, with every-day things coming up and needing attention.

What I don't like is being so busy!
Busy - yes, but not all the time. Too busy - no.

Do you see why it was time to prioritize?

And guess what went to top of my priorities, right after my marriage and my health?

My new book!
Writing The Power of the Possible was bliss. The best time of my life in so many ways.
Why then did it take me so long to get to writing the next book?

See what I mean? Why the list and order of priorities are important?

When you make yours,
make sure there are no more than 10.

And don't forget your Spirituality. Make it #1. All things flow out of it.

At some point - it becomes your only priority. Above #1, including, embracing and feeding all the other ones. It doesn't need to go on the list. It's who you are.

It is your connection to Something More. Feeling the Mystery of life, knowing you are not alone.

This connection is unique to everyone one of us.
It is your relationship with the Divine.

You experience it when you feel gratitude, when your heart overflows with love, at moments of passion when you are lost in creativity,
or touched by nature...in meditative altered states, through bursts of sudden joy.
Looking at a rainbow...Or - very directly.

I left the best part of this letter to the very end, didn't I?
And if you did read that far - I have written it for you.
A wink. A reminder of something you know well.
A reminder, that - if it is not already so - to make you spirituality - your priority!
Everything changes, once you do.

All for now.
See some of you on Tuesday the 10th.

Much love to you, always.

Remember: never ever give up hope!

Auriela.
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P.S. If it feels right, and you enjoy reading my blog, please, forward it to your friends and family. Better yet, suggest that they sign up to receive updates in Newsletter form.
Don't do it to change them, just to share.
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You Can Change Yourself

2009-10-25T16:01:00.000-07:00

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A School of Hope and Inspiration
Tuesday October 27, 2009
Gathering: 6:30PM -7PM Class: 7PM - 9:30PM
RSVP for address and directions
Auriela@AurielaMcCarthy.com

Classes are held in Southern Marin
I appreciate if everyone RSVPs,
so I know how many seats we need.
Please, be on time, we will start promptly at 7pm

Here is this week's Food for Thought

As an author, I get regular emails from my readers. Lately - predominantly from US and India. Men and women of different ages, thanking me for The Power of the Possible, telling me how the book helped them with their lives and relationships...

And just as I am getting happy reading an email like this - a question comes:

"Auriela, can you please tell me what to do with my...husband, sister-in-law, daughter, mother, wife, friend...???"

Whoever it happens to be - is not acting they way my reader wants them to act. Doing something that "must be stopped." And they are asking me to show them how to stop it.

This is when I do a double-take.

Haven't you just read my book?

Haven't you just written to me to thank me for it?

How then did you manage to have missed the book's entire message:

Nothing changes until you do?

Every story ( true story, by the way) in The Power of the Possible shows - through other people's experiences, why trying to get another person to change doesn't work.
It explains why it is so, and why it will always be so.

It also shows that
people change when they want to change.
And only when they want to change. Never because we ask them or tell them to.

And so you read the book, you agree that you can't change other people, (in theory)- ...and then, when it comes to your own life - out the door goes this bit of wisdom and you are back to the same old fight: someone HAS to change.
And that someone is usually someone else.
Because YOU know what's best for THEM.

A fascinating thing, human nature. A fascinating thing also: how stubborn we are about "being right" and insisting that others see things our way.

Below are a my responses to a few of your questions.
And though they may not be what you hoped to hear, the truth does set us free, even if at first, to quote Gloria Steinem, it "will piss you off."

-Is there a magic technique that will make your lover stop flirting with other women?

No, there is not. If it bothers you - leave him. You can't change him.
But you can change yourself.

-Is there a way you can make your adult son change, so he gets a permanent job and moves out of your house?

Yes. Tell him he has to move out. And mean it.

-What? Kick out my son?

Absolutely. Give him notice (a short notice) and be firm. Didn't you say he was an adult? This is the best thing you can do for him - and for you. Stop trying to change him.
Change yourself.

-What can you do to get your mother to stop being rude to your wife?

Tell her that unless she acts differently, she can't come visit. Period. Don't ask her to change. Inform her about how it will be from now on. Change yourself.

-Should you ask for an apology from your sister-in-law with whom you have been refusing to speak for 7 years over "a trifle"?

Absolutely. To keep holding a grudge for 7 years?... Come on. It was "a trifle" - your words, not mine. Apologize. And be thankful if she doesn't turn out to be like you - punishing you for the next 7 years.

If these answers were self-evident (as they should have been) - bravo! I hope you got a chuckle or two.

And if they were not - hurry to Amazon.com or to my website and get The Power of the Possible and read it! What on earth are you waiting for?:)

All for now.
See some of you on Tuesday.

Much love to you, always.

Remember: never ever give up hope!
Auriela.

Chauvinism and Its Impact On Our Life and Jealousy, Its Devastating Power.

2009-10-20T18:38:00.000-07:00

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Hello Dear Friends
Here Are The Topics For This Week's "The Power of the Possible" Radio Show:

Chauvinism and its impact on our life.

A man’s perspective.
Discussing this dark legacy with Franc Sloan, a Personal Growth Coach.

Exploring the crippling effect of chauvinism on both sexes and the way it destroys relationships.

Women and chauvinism.

Jealousy. Its root, its devastating power, and ways to end it.

Your “Dance with Love” and what you can learn from it.

2009-10-15T10:26:00.001-07:00

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Here is this week’s The Power of the Possible Radio Show:

Addressing the questions raised by readers of The Power of the Possible, a book of hope and inspiration.

Why “perception is not reality?”
Why does it mean: “powerlessness can be the most powerful state?”
The difference between resignation and surrender.

A powerful meditation of Self-Discovery: Your “Dance with Love” and what you can learn from it.

A Story That Is Happening Right Now To Someone I Know

2009-10-11T23:34:00.000-07:00

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Hello, dear friends,

Today I will start with a story. It is happening right now to someone I know and love.

A friend of mine who has been able to move past the anger she felt at her lover and at the way their relationship ended is beginning to feel good again.

No longer is she waking up hating the man's guts, no longer is she consumed by feelings of revenge...no longer are the thoughts of the past and how badly she has been treated consuming her every waking moment.

Instead, she is suddenly happy. Free again, excited about her life. She is even thinking of changing her job, as she sees new opportunities coming her way.

Read more below, after the Event Information:

School of Hope and Inspiration

Tuesday, October 13th
Gathering: 6:30PM -7PM
Class: 7PM - 9:30PM

Classes are held in Southern Marin
Please, be on time, we start promptly at 7pm
RSVP for address and directions.
email: Auriela@AurielaMcCarthy.com

* * *
The School of Hope and Inspiration is deeply steeped in the understanding of the Mystery of Being, while at the same being deeply grounded in the common sense.
This unusual combination makes it unique and different among the various Self-Development programs.

The Tuesday night class continues, but it is closed to new participants.

Back to my story which is this week's Food for Thought.

My friend is thrilled with how she is feeling. It's been a very long time since she felt so happy. But when she shares her feelings with her fiends, she comes upon a strange reaction.

They don't believe her.
They think she is in denial and that she needs to go back and tell them how badly she feels.
"You need to vent," they tell her. "Go ahead, keep venting, don't hold back, we are here for you."

Venting. Such a charming word. A euphemism for blaming and for staying in righteous anger.

They all met for lunch the other day and this is where that conversation took place.
My friend left feeling frustrated and lost. And angry at her girlfriends, women she had know all her life.

She doesn't want to see them anymore, she is also torn...

Why am I telling you this?

Because what I have just described is not uncommon.
I have written about this in the past, but I feel it's time to talk about it some more:
"The crabs in the bucket" phenomenon.

Have you ever seen people gathering crabs on the beach? Do you know that they never put a lid on the bucket where they keep their crabs?

They don't have to.

Because as soon as the second crab is inside the bucket, one of the crabs will make sure the other one stays put by pulling it down every time it tries to get out!

Now imagine there are more than just two crabs at the bottom of this bucket. Say, now there are 5 or 10...or perhaps a whole bunch of them crawling around, bumping into each other, unable to get out.

Is it a happy place? Is this where they want to stay?
Well, you may say, they have company, they are no longer alone, they belong, they can make friends, share their stories...

Yes they can.
And they can whine and complain about how they hate people who put them there, how they hate being in the box, how unfair life is to crabs.
And guess what? They will always find a sympathetic ear as long as they are in that bucket.

And as they cry and complain, they distract themselves from what comes next: a slow and painful death.
Because they are all on the way to being cooked, aren't they?
Or sold and then separated and then - cooked?

Denial is a powerful mechanism. Even crabs are using it. Denying the fact that they have lost their freedom as soon as they found themselves in that bucket.

And now imagine that one of these crabs decides: enough! I can't breath in this crowded place. There is not enough light and not enough space for me to move. I will get out of here! I want my freedom back.

What do you think is going to happen as this crab begins to crawl up, muttering on its way: "Sorry guys, I love you, but...I no longer fit here."
Immediately, the remaining crabs will move together to pull it back down! "Not so fast! Who do you think you are? We are not good for you anymore?!"

The crab metaphor is obvious.

If you've made friends with people who like to bitch about everything and everyone, if you have joined their club and have been "happily bitching along" about how life is unfair, the boss is a jerk, how you can't trust men, or women, or anyone for that matter...what happens when you suddenly wake up?

Suddenly, you are not fun anymore.
Not only are your "friends" not interested, they mock you, they don't want to listen, they encourage you to go back to the way you were.

Why?

Because you no longer fit with them. And they will try to do everything they can to bring you down to be your old miserable self again.
Just like crabs in the bucket do. Miserable, but together.

But let us give these friends the benefit of the doubt.
Because often times, they are not bad or malicious people. They are simply people in pain. They have not yet found the way out of that prison, and they are scared of losing you.

Also, your courage to change and to lift up to a higher resonance is a reminder of what they won't deal in themselves. And so - they pull you down.

This is what is happening to my friend.
And now she has 2 choices:

Leave the friends she no longer fits with and step into the scary, unknown territory of a new life

or - go back and keep the so-called friends and continue as she was.

The former takes courage, and trusting yourself.
The latter is simpler. It does not require much, except you - giving up on yourself.

But Auriela, isn't it so cold? So unfeeling? How can you suggest that she leave her friends? They might have been there for her all her life?

My answer is this.
If they are really good friends, they will change their tune and support her in her growth. And if they won't, perhaps it is time to leave them behind.

Is it cold and unfeeling? Hardly.
There will be sadness, there will be grieving and there will be loss... . And she will feel what comes for her - and she will let it go.

She may be alone for a while. There are no guarantees in life.

Keeping these old friends that keep pulling her down comes with a price. Too high a price, in my opinion.
That price is self-abandonment.

Is it worth paying?
You tell me.

Here is the quote I love:

"There are always risks in freedom. The only risk in bondage is breaking free." Lazaris.

Breaking free can be really scary.

There are no guarantees you will ever make new friends, that your new life will work, that you will get what you wanted...
It is much safer in the bucket. "It may be Auschwitz, but it's home."

Would anyone want to leave security for the dangerous, unknown terrain of freedom?

Just look around you. Think of the people you admire most. Every one of them has done it. And every one of them has been afraid at times. Sometimes - more than other times. Still they acted!
They went ahead even when they didn't have all the answers. And they have built the lives they dreamed about, blazing their trial for the rest of us.

They forged their own course and in the process - found themselves.

And the moral?

You are not here to get everyone's approval, nor are you here to be liked by everyone.

What are you here for?
The answer is yours to find.

I will give you a hint: You are here to find happiness, to create it for yourself, consciously. You are here to learn how to have fun! And to live the most amazing and joyous life..

A life-long journey. The most unselfish and loving thing you can do.
How come? Think about it.
This is this week's food for thought.

All for now.

See some of you on Tuesday night!

Much love to you, always.
And remember: NEVER EVER give up Hope!

Auriela.

P.S. Please, follow your intuition and if it feels right,
forward this to your friends or your family members.

P.P.S. If you don't live in the San Francisco Bay Area, stay with us through these emails and keep sending me your questions.
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Conversation with Dr. Francesca McCartney and Responding to Listeners’ Questions.

2009-10-06T09:47:00.000-07:00

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Good morning,

Here is this week’s The Power of the Possible Radio Show:

Conversation with Dr. Francesca McCartney, author, medical intuitive and
Founder of Academy of Intuition Medicine: Learning how to work with your intuition; Preventing illness by working with the subtle energies; Opening your Life Force Energy; A powerful technique of grounding your body; How to stop being affected by other people’s energies; Kundalini.

Who Am I? Why Am I Here - The Ultimate Drive

2009-10-05T14:46:00.000-07:00

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Hello, dear friends,

I want to thank all of you, my readers, my listeners, my students-teachers...I feel so grateful every time I get a happy email telling me that reading my newsletters, thinking about the concepts and applying them is making a difference in your life. This is incredibly heart-warming to me, because I get as much out of writing them as you - out of reading them. Maybe more.

And your questions - I love getting them. Underneath them all - the age-old question that won't go away:
Why I am here? What's my purpose? What is it all about?

Just the other day, I got an email with the subject line: Who am I and why do I want to change? from a dear friend and client from the East Coast.

Let me share with you some insights on these most important of all questions.

To my Tuesday night class: we will look at this in depth this coming Tuesday.

To the those of you who live all over the country and the world ( the majority of my readers) - read my this week's food for thought below.

Here is this week's Food for Thought.

"Who am I?" and "Why am I here?"

The same question asked over and over, by people young and old, everywhere, throughout time.

Centuries pass, bringing changes beyond imagination... and still, the same question, asked again and again....

Why hasn't it been answered? By some of the greatest minds ever walking this earth?

It has been, though never fully.

Because the answers are shrouded in Mystery and mystery by definition can never be unraveled fully.

Because the answers are as unique as the person asking the question.
And also, because each person - each man, woman and child - must find these answers on their own.

No one can tell you who you are.
No one can tell you why you are here.

You won't believe it if they did anyway.

This is your own quest. A spiritual quest for meaning.
And it won't leave because at its essence is your hunger and thirst for the connection to the Divine.

You long to remove the veil of separation.
The separation that is humanity's Ultimate Pain...
The reason behind all seeking.

This is the Ultimate Human Drive.
Yours, mine and everyone else's. It always was and always will be.

Driven to find the connection, trying and failing, falling down and getting up, you seek to understand the Mystery of Life.
The Mystery of Being, the Mystery of Self and ultimately - the Mystery of God...

How could these Mysteries ever be uncovered?
They can't. They are not supposed to be.
But we grow and become more for having sought..

Because it is not about finding the answers.

It is about getting to the place where you are ready to ask the question.
Getting to where the question suddenly matters.

Realizing that ultimately - it is the only thing that matters. Because when it does - everything else falls into place and begins to make sense.

Then it is easy to see that the Ultimate Desire is Happiness.
And the Ultimate Need is to love: or rather - to be Loving.

Yes, you read it correctly.

Not your health, or wealth, or your success.
And not even - you being loved...

We all want them - to one extent or another. And of course, they are all important and wonderful to have.
And you will have a much greater chance of having them if you are clear on what ultimately matters.

Find what makes you happy - and cultivate it.
Is it spending time with a dear friend?
A walk in the wood? Crawling in bed with a good book? Dancing by yourself in complete abandon? Playing with your child? Loosing yourself in the creative project?
Find what it is -
And give yourself permission to do it. Be happy. Don't wait for others to give you this permission.
You, give the permission to yourself!

Then think about those you love. Immerse yourself into the feeling. How much you love them! (without - the "do they love me back?" or "why don't they love me more?")
Feel your love for them, and let the love take you over...

And then - ponder your own mystery. Become fascinated with you.
In the best sense of the word. Wonder at yourself.
Why did you say what you just said? Why suddenly - these tears? Why this feeling in your gut? Why the shutting off? Why anger? Why this burst of joy?

No self-judgment. Just wonder.
Start there. And take it deeper. Until the path opens up. The one that's right for you.
The one you will know to take...

Take it then. Take it as far as it goes. Then take another...

Driven by the only true drive - the Ultimate drive...delving deeper and deeper into the Mystery, the Mystery of You.

All for now.

See some of you on Tuesday night!

Much love to you, always.
And remember: NEVER EVER give up Hope!

Auriela.
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Responding to Listeners’ Questions

2009-09-30T17:35:00.000-07:00

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On this week's The Power of the Possible Radio Show,
I am responding to listeners’ questions.

Why beating yourself up mentally and emotionally can never work.
Recognizing the ego’s voice And saying no to it.
Ending negative self-talk, taking responsibility for your life.
How do you date when you are a single mother?
How can I live in the present when I am terrified about the future?

The Negative Ego's Favorite Response

2009-09-28T18:09:00.000-07:00

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Here is this week's Food for Thought.

Let me share the story of Jane. It is not her real name, of course, but it is her real story.
She is an old friend of mine and right now she is going through a crisis.
It is the same crisis she's been through before. Many times and for many years.

What do you think it is?

What are the obvious, repeated problems people find themselves in?
Usually they will cluster around these 4 areas:
Money, Career, Relationships and Health.

In my friend's case, it's money. Always, it is money and always she doesn't have enough of it.

And it is getting worse.

Before you hurry to point to the current economy as the reason for her troubles, wait.
My friend is so powerful she has successfully created the same crisis over and over again regardless of the state of the economy.

Did I say powerful? Yes, you read it correctly.

Because it takes a lot of powerful focused energy to continue to create constant financial disasters. To the point that it doesn't even matter how much money she makes. Her bills are always more than her income. "I am the one who never has enough money" has become her identity.

How does she deal with her situation?
A very good question.

This is what Jane hears in her head every time she runs out of money:

"You are no good. You can never manage money well. All the money you made in the past...where is it???? You've squandered it! You can't be trusted with money. You will always be a loser. You ARE a loser. Here you are again, calling people, begging for help. You should be ashamed. You will end up in the street, living under the bridge. And you deserve it..."

Relentless negative ego chatter, coming in the form of thoughts that are always putting her down.

And when she succeeds, gets a big check, gets a new project, does the job well, she hears: " You could have done it better! Sooner! Years ago! It won't last anyway. It never does. Don't keep your hopes up. It never happens to you. You are not good enough. Go spend some money while you have it. Have some fun...you deserve it..."

She can't win with this voice, can she?

No, she can't.

But she can always tell this voice to shut up!

"But Auriela, isn't this voice telling her the truth? Just look at her life..."

Not so.

The voice is not telling her the truth at all. The voice is using "what looks like truth" to bring her down, so she never gets up.

Because the truth is: She is not a loser, she is not a failure and she is not a jerk. And she is totally capable to live differently and to manage her money better. Just as she is totally capable to find a different occupation, the one that would come with a more stable income.

Why doesn't she do it then?

Because at a certain point in her life she had refused to think.
Because thinking for herself looked like too much work!

Too much work - to be evaluating, analyzing, looking at her life and her choices, taking responsibility for them, making different decisions...
It was easier to just look the other way, smoke a joint, get high, distract herself, avoid taking action...

So how does this relate to the Negative Ego?

Who do you think is whispering this self-destructive garbage in her ear?
Her Negative Ego, of course.

It is that voice in her head that interprets everything that happens in her life - in a way that is most devastating and destructive to her.

And she is so used to listening to it, she now believes it.

And the way out?

She needs to start thinking for herself.

As soon as a disparaging (or a self-aggrandizing) thought enters her mind - she needs to question it.

-Is it true that I am unable to take care of myself? -No, it is not.
-Is it true that I should go and spend the money I need to save? -No, it is not.
-Is it true I will never find a different career? -No it is not!

Why hasn't she started thinking for herself yet?

For the same reason she has let it happen to her in the first place: she has completely sold out to her ego.
To such an extent that she doesn't even recognize it.

That's why I said last time that the phenomenon is anything but benign.

Several things need to happen for Jane so she can break out of the cycle:

1. She needs to tell herself the truth without beating herself up.

2. She needs to start thinking and acting.

This won't happen without her also forgiving herself for all the "lost time," all the drama and all the pain.
But she already knows all this. We talked about it many times.

Will she do it?

It will depend on who she decides to listen to this time.
Her own critical thinking, or her negative ego.

Scary? Yes, it is.
The situation and where it can lead is scary. NOT the ego.

The ego would like you to believe that it is scary.
But it truth, it will be nothing but an empty voice, as soon as you take your life in your own hands.
Take charge of it! Toss the negative ego out and get yourself into the driving seat.

How can you apply this information to your own life?
Start thinking!

"But Auriela, I already am! How can you tell me this?..."

And this, my friends, is the ego's favorite, immediate response:

"I already do." "I've done this already. Got it, Handled it. Next...?"

Always question this thought.
If you are a thinking person, great. Then check your thoughts.
Teach yourself to think better, deeper, more.

Your ego will hate this idea, and will try to dismiss you, me and this letter.

Who will you listen to?

More On the Negative Ego

2009-09-28T09:04:00.000-07:00

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Hello dear friends,

Last week I promised you to write about the negative ego and how it can mess up your life.

Here is what I wrote about it in The Power of the Possible, on pp. 158-160

"There is a voice inside our heads and it never ever tells us the truth. It plays the same old tapes over and over again...every time we allow it to speak, it lies to us. Every time we listen to it and obey it, it brings us destruction, suffering and pain. It is not overly intelligent. Quite the opposite. Our negative ego is dumb. Dumb but cunning and it is masquerading as our best friend.

"When we need to work harder it tells us we've done enough and need to rest.
When we've done a great a job it tells us we could have done it much better...
When someone pays us a compliment, it says it is because they want something from us.
When a friend gives us a constructive criticism, it tell us it is because they are jealous of our success...

"The negative ego has but one purpose: to bring us down and to destroy everything we have...
And yet we listen. Contrary to all common sense we don't just listen, we follow its advice...
And soon enough it all tumbles down: a valued friendship - broken, a career - damaged, a relationship - destroyed...."

There is a lot more in the book, with very good examples, and if you don't have it, it may be a good idea to get the book and to read about this in depth.
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A Closer Look at My Priorities

2009-09-21T14:33:00.000-07:00

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Hello, dear friends,

In the last couple of weeks I noticed I was getting antsy. Not my usual, happy, high energy self, which is my normal condition. I wondered what it could be. It was time to pause and to look inward.
So I did.

I took a close look at my priorities. First, I wrote them down, then I tried to arrange them in the order of importance.

The Law of Priorities tells you that if you have your priorities in order, you have a very good chance of getting most of them, or even all of them.
And if your priorities are out of order, your success with creating what you want will be hit and miss.

Staring at my list, I could see it clearly. My priorities were out of order. I was doing too many things, taking on too many projects - all fun and exiting - but as a result, the things that were the most important were not getting the time and attention they needed to get.

For example, I barely had time for writing. No wonder I was feeling so antsy. The new book is trying to come through, I am feeling an insistent call to go back to writing, it gets so intense at times, I can hardly breathe...yet with my current schedule I can't make enough time for it.

I looked at my list and put the book on the top of my priorities.

It is amazing how much you can learn just by putting your list of priorities in order.
It explained to me my ambivalence about adding another night a week - a Wednesday night class, to my schedule, even though I did announce it. And of course it explained the fact that registration for that class has been so uncertain.
The Universe was responding to my own uncertainty.

Does the Wednesday Night Class stay?
I am still not sure. I had a different idea for now.

The Tuesday Night Class continues, of course.
I LOVE doing it and I LOVE my students-teachers.
Not long ago I closed this group to new members.
And yet, last week once again I was reminded of the truth behind the words
"if you want to make God laugh, tell Him YOUR plans."

I was clearly being shown that I needed to be flexible with this decision.

So I re-thought it.
I decided that if the fit is right, occasionally new members can join us.
Growth has no prerequisites, and this work is so Choreographed and guided and has been from the start.

Not by me.
By something much More and Greater.
So with humility, I step aside and trust that the right students will always be part of this group, just as they have been so far.
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Negative Ego - Life Destroyer

2009-09-21T13:50:00.000-07:00

Here is some Food for Thought.

At our last Tuesday Night Class - we looked at your Negative Ego and how it goes about destroying your life.

I am talking about that voice inside your head that interprets everything and gives it its own spin.
The spin that is the most destructive to you.
The the scariest things is that you don't even know it. You are so used to this voice you think these are your own thoughts.

Without going into detail - this will be for the next letter, I will tell you this.
It was the first evening ever where absolutely everyone fell asleep during the
meditative journey to meet their ego face to face(!).

Yes, it's true. Every one of my beautiful, conscious, powerful students was "gone" as soon as the Ego showed up.

Have I gotten your attention?

Yes, this is exactly how the Negative Ego works.
And it is perfectly capable of turning on sudden "brain fog,"
if this will distract you from exposing it.

The good news: Your Ego has no Power unless you give it to it.
The bad news: you have given it way too much of your Power.
More good news: Since it is Your Power, you can always take it back!

With a caveat: to do this you need to understand the mechanics of how it works.

If you are still reading this - again, good news.
It means not all your power has gone to the ego.
If you think I am joking, let me assure you, I am not.
There is nothing even remotely benign about the subject.

MORE -in the next blog, with examples and explanations.

Make sure you don't miss it, and if you are living in the Bay Area within the driving distance from Southern Marin, consider coming to tomorrow night's class.
Understanding how the ego works and what you can do to take your power back from it is crucial, life changing information.

Conversation with Elizabeth Grant, Spiritual Mentor and Transformation Coach.

2009-09-21T12:44:00.000-07:00

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A deeply personal and empowering story of an awakening to your true power.

Moving from a life of depression, panic attacks and fear to a life filled with joy laughter, and compassion.

The principles of Living in the Present.

Wealth Consciousness. How to develop it and what stands in the way.

What do you say waking up in a hospital and seeing the Future?

2009-09-18T17:16:00.000-07:00

The doctors said he needed a heart-transplant.

35 year-old Bret Simister had a different idea. What do you do when “out of the blue” your heart expands to twice its size?

What do you say waking up in a hospital ...and seeing the Future you, standing there, ready to talk?

You think you may be dreaming but you are not.

“What do you want to do?” he asks. The true story of an amazing recovery against all odds.
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2 Ways To Live A Life & New Wednesday Class

2009-09-14T18:12:00.000-07:00

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Here is this week's Food for Thought as well what to expect from the new Wednesday Evenings.

These are two of my favorite quotes. Both are by Einstein:

"There are 2 ways to live a life.
One, as if nothing is a miracle, and another - as if everything is a miracle."

And

"You cannot solve a problem from the same consciousness that created it.
You must learn to see the world anew."

Think back on these words as you read this letter.

I won't be telling you anything new if I say that we are living at a time of change.

The visible change may feel exciting or disconcerting, frightening or hopeful, depending on your point of view.

This is not the change I am talking about.

Listen.

Something amazing and grand that has never happened in the history of humanity is also happening right now, and if you are not yet aware of it, it is simply because you are in the midst of it.
You are so much a part of it that you don't notice.

I want you to notice.

What I am talking about is a change in Consciousness.
People everywhere are waking up as if from a deep sleep.
Re-evaluating everything, asking questions they never did before.
Going through a profound change in their value system.

Let me quote Michael Beckwith, speaking on Oprah, saying the same thing:

"People want to know about their purpose, why are they here on the planet?
It's the question that won't go away, because the answer reveals that we are here to wake up, to discover our true nature - our gifts, talents and capacities - and to express them. That's why we're here."

For this, you need to be able "to see the world anew."
Einstein knew this decades and decades and decades ago.
He was, afer all - Albert Einstein:).

Did he also know that the time would come when seeing the world anew would become imperative?

"But Auriela, here you go again. Can't I just 'be,' please?
I have enough on my plate as it is..."

In a word, No.

You can't just be. You could - in the past.
Not anymore.

So you can drag along kicking and screaming or - you can have fun with it!

Because it is already happening!

Think back a few years.
Notice the difference between then and now.

What once had been so "out there," and "weird" has become main stream thinking.

Here are but a few examples:

People talk about beliefs and the need to change them in the most mundane way...
People talk about The Law of Attraction fully expecting you to understand.
They talk about thinking positively and about focusing on gratitude...

They talk about forgiveness they way they never did before.
"Normal" people, not people like me who have been talking about it for decades.

No longer are we weird, "too much," too "New Age"...
These day I am asked to explain these concepts in depth on the radio.

The same people that used to laugh at the idea of creating their own reality,
are now accepting it, saying things like "there is no such thing as an accident..."

Yes, something very different is going on.
Something as monumental as an Awakening of Consciousness.
And it is sweeping the planet and reaching everyone.

Suddenly the person you'd least expect is saying to you: "just give it over to the Universe," and you do a double-take. Did you hear correctly? You did. Not only did he say it, he said it matter-of-factly.

You also notice that you are wanting more from your life.
Caring about things you didn't think "you had time for" before.

You are reaching for meaning, for purpose, for Self-Discovery.
You know that your relationship with YOU is what will determine
how happy, how successful and how much love you will have in your life.
Regardless of how it "appears" to everyone else.

Think about it.
This is very new. Not new for "seekers." They have existed throughout history.
Philosophers, monks, metaphysicians ...A handful of them, really.

But the "regular guys and gals" who are busy working, raising kids, paying bills, mortgages, insurances, caring for the aging parents. Those who "had no time" to look inward - now find the time.

This is change at your very core.

A fundamental change in your values.

You have no measuring devices to quantify the extent of it.
You couldn't see the exact moment it had begun. Such is the mystery of change.
All you can see is the result of it.

And right now, all of us, every human being on earth is experiencing this change.
Compelled to wake up. Compelled to become more.
It is a continuous process, far from complete, taking place at this very moment.

Where can this change take us?
To the most incredible, positive, fantastic, beyond imagination, fabulous future.

Did I scare you?

Worry not. It's a gradual process. Gradual precisely because it is so frightening.

How can a great future be frightening?

Easily. Haven't you heard about "the devil you know"...that is better than the one you don't know?

Change can be frightening because the Unknown is frightening.
The Chaos that accompanies change is frightening. The uncertainty of it.

But frightening or not - you cannot stop it.
You cannot control it. Not you, not me, not anyone.

Not this change.

Imagine a huge wave coming at you as you are swimming in the ocean.
If you fight it, it will just crash you, if you try to swim away from it, it will catch up with you in no time.
The only way for you to make it - is to ride it!

Except:
You can't ride this wave while also pulling your old baggage behind you.
The wave will break it apart.
And if you don't let go, it will destroy you as well.

For anything New to be created something Old has to be destroyed.
It's a non-negotiable Law of how things work in our reality.
Think about it and you will find plenty of examples.

Here are some:

-For forgiveness to be real, the old hatred has to die.
-For a child to be born, the pregnancy must end.
-For the new leaves to come out in spring, the old leaves must shrivel and fall off.
-For you to be happy, your addiction to being sorry for yourself must go.
-For you to be successful, your desire to punish your parents or your ex by showing them how they messed up your life must die...

If you want to keep the old baggage, you can't make the change to the New World.

Is such high price worth paying?

And what's so precious in this baggage anyway?

Your old hurts and disappointments?
Suffering and struggle?
Painful memories and righteousness?
Your addiction to blame?
Your sorrows? Your rage...?

The past is receding. Losing its potency. It takes more and more of your energy to work at keeping it alive.
The energy you can use to create an amazing future.

I want to show you the steps, so you can do it safely.

The pain can end.

It can be healed. And then - left behind.
The past can be forgiven and then - let go of.

Many have done it. You can too.
I know it because I've been there.
If I hadn't healed so much of the pain, I would not be here to write this letter.
I would have no right to write it.

Listen.
There is a Future waiting for you that will blow your mind!
With miracles, small and large, that will astound you and make you weep.
But you have to be willing to have them.
And you have to be here to experience them.

The old is dying. And with it - the old ways.
The old ways of being, of solving problems, of dealing with life.

They don't work anymore.
Or haven't you noticed it already?

I opened the School for you.
For people like you who are ready for the Next Step.
Who are ready to uncover the Mystery. The Mystery of You.
And with it, The Mystery of Life and The Mystery of Each Other.

I also opened the School for myself. I was responding to my Soul's call.
Doing this work feeds my Soul beyond anything I can say.
Being there for your "aha" moments. Seeing your eyes after a meditation.
Seeing the light that hasn't been there before.
The light that stays!

It is Your light, and it scares you more than your darkness.
Yet, you go for it anyway!
This takes my breath away.

I opened the School of Hope and Inspiration for those of you, ready to say YES to life.
Ready to embrace your Power, and to stop pretending that you don't have it.

If this speaks to you, then come. Follow your gut, come and have the experience.

What happens at the School?
It's different very time. Because it is tailor-made for you.

The result?

-Your life will become more and more magical.

-Your spirituality will sparkle and you won't question it.

-Your successes will be brighter and more fulfilling.

-Your happiness will be more real.

-You will learn to love better and you'll bring more love into your life.

-Your trust in yourself will heal.

-You will learn to consciously create miracles (oh, yes.)

-You will build back what you've lost of yourself through the living of your life.

-You will stop holding yourself back.

-You will uncover the Secrets of Yourself that have been waiting for you, hidden in plain sight all of your life...

And you will make the transition we are all going through gracefully, elegantly, with ease.

And if you are still reading this long letter,
then I have definitely written it for you.

My Tuesday night students - see you on the 15th!
My new students, I look forward to meeting you in person on Wednesday, the 16.

Take a chance, take a plunge. What have you got to lose?
How else will know if the fit is right or not?

To my out-of-town readers:
I am incredibly sorry for the delay with the teleclasses.
It looks like by the end of September we should be ready to start.
Stay tuned.

All for now,

With Love and Hope,
Auriela.

P.S. Follow your intuition and if it feels right,
forward this to your friends or your family members.

P.P.S. If you don't live in the San Francisco Bay Area, stay with us through these emails and keep sending me your questions.
I am planning to do this work via Internet at some point.
I will of course let you know when it happens.

Taking Time Off to Enjoy

2009-09-07T13:53:00.000-07:00

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This week's Food for Thought.

It's Labor Day Weekend...I hope you took time off work and had a great time! Especially those of you who are working for yourselves. You know what I am talking about :). You never seem to catch up, something always remains undone. The best time to do it is during the holiday weekend, right?
Wrong.
Taking time off to enjoy yourself and to have fun is one of the most underrated things in our world. Yet, if you don't do it, how easy it is to slide into the "overworked, underpaid, unappreciated" state.

You need rest, you need to have fun and to learn how to do it consciously. And how wonderful it is that - if you haven't yet learned how to give yourself permission to do it - our world gives you the official "go ahead" on the few designated days we have come to call "the holidays." So enjoy!

And as for never being able to catch up with things - I know the place only too well.

Here is how I learned to deal with it.

One day, faced with the never ending to do list, I simply stopped.
A light bulb went on in my head. It was never going to happen, this "catching up" thing, I told myself. There will always be more "things". It was a simply a fact of life.

This sudden realization changed everything.
I relaxed, I laughed to myself, and then - I accepted it.
It was the way it was. No longer a problem.
Now, as long as I am not letting anyone down, and as long as I am not on a deadline, I don't drive myself crazy. I do things in stride. And I hardly ever rush. Yes. It's true. I hate rushing, in fact I am convinced I am allergic to it :).

What about you?

All for now.

Love, Auriela
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Book Talks and New Releases - Italy

2009-09-07T13:44:00.000-07:00

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Hello, dear friends,

I will start with a Reminder:

This Wednesday, September 9th, at 7pm I am speaking at

the Book Depot café and bookstore in Mill Valley

I know I mentioned this before, but in our busy world, a reminder is good thing. So if you live in the Bay Area, and especially if you live in Marin County, please, come!

What will I talk about? The Power of the Possible, of course.

I will share with you how the book came about and what it was like writing it, I will tell you a few stories from my life you probably don't know, I will tell you what I mean by the Power of the Possible ( and it is NOT what you expect.)

I will tell you how I keep coming up with such counter-intuitive things like:
"don't 'communicate,'" " 'the right time' to talk is - the wrong time," "destroy your list for 'soul-mate' qualities," "even if you are right, so what?"... all this and more - with an explanation of course ;).
I will answer any of your questions and if you are among the several lucky ones, you'll be able to win The Power of the Possible, 10CD Audio Book, read by me.

And please, if it feels right, tell your friends about it!

In the mean time, The Power of the Possible, a book of hope and inspiration, continues to have a life of its own. Mysterious sales spikes on Amazon.com keep happening. Word-of-mouth is an amazing thing.
The publisher just sold another Foreign Rights to the book - this time to an Italian publishing company. They are going to translate it. This is the book's 6th Foreign edition...more are on the way.

A friend came upon a site, BookCrossing.com, that tracks books that people have registered and then "released into the wild." It turns out the The Power of the Possible has been registered as such book.
The woman writes that she is about "to release it into the wild", which tells me she is not finished reading it yet. Whatever the "wild" means, it does sound like fun, doesn't it?

The Power of the Possible at BookCrossing.com
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Are You in a Co-Dependent Relationship?

2009-09-07T10:54:00.000-07:00

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Hello Everyone and here is this week's radio show

Taking a look at Co-Dependency

Are you in a co-dependent relationship?

Demystifying co-dependency:
The 3 questions to ask yourself – and to answer. 3 distinct behavior patterns to uncover and to end.

Responding the listeners’ questions:
Siding with the children instead of your spouse; Anxiety – its origin, what it masks and the technique to alleviate it. Old boy friend returns – and with him, the old pattern. What to do?

Conversation with Elliott Katz, "Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants"

2009-08-31T17:51:00.000-07:00

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Hello Everyone and here is this week's radio show

“But I just wanted to make her happy?...” Did you? Are You Sure?

Conversation with Elliot Katz, author of "The Strong Man a Woman Wants".

Ahh...relationships! A different, much needed look at the man’s role in a marriage.

- what type of man are strong women longing for? A strong man.

- what does it mean “to be a man?”

- taking responsibility for your relationship means changing yourself

Food For Thought

2009-08-30T16:12:00.000-07:00

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Here is this week's Food for Thought

I am writing this from New York - a quick 3-day trip to visit my little baby granddaughter. She is now almost 2 months old, what a difference since the last time I saw her at 9 days old. Now, she is a little person. And a very serious little person :). When I hold her close to my chest, the rest of the world disappears.

I love watching her. What is it like, being in such a tiny body...
She keeps looking around with her big blue eyes, trying so hard to figure out where she is. Her entire body gets so intensely focused :). From time to time, she furrows her brow...(yes, she does!) imagine that (!) "Why am I here? What is this new and different world all about?"
You think I am exaggerating, letting my imagination go wild...I really don't. The last thing I expected was to find such amazing concentration in a tiny infant. It's been quite a while since her father (my son :)) had been an infant. I was too overwhelmed and way too young to have the luxury of being an observer.

You can learn a lot from being with a baby, if you let yourself.
How do they make sense of things while still "pre-language?"
All they have is what they feel, what they sense and what their instinct tells them. Though I bet you it's right on the money.

You can't fool a baby. Because they absolutely 'get' who you are and what you are about.
Also, they haven't yet learned to pretend and to mask their feelings.

It's an amazing state, before the conditioning happens.
Before they've been taught to discount their feelings and to dismiss what they know instinctively, because the adults tell them to do so.

Tiny babies have no screens to filter the incoming information.
They have not yet learned to rely on their ego to "interpret" what's going on.
They make no projections, they have no previous painful experiences.

They haven't yet learned to doubt themselves.

But you don't remain a baby forever. And that's a good thing. You grow up.
Life happens. And with it - wonderful things and painful things happen as well. And when life throws you a few curved balls, which it always does, because that's the entire point: so you will learn how to duck, how to respond, how to heal and to change out of the experience - you begin to ask the right questions and you begin to grow.

At least that's the way it was intended. That's what was supposed to take place.
Too often, it did not.
It did not, because there wasn't anyone who could point the right way.
And because those who needed to do it, didn't know the way either.

So it became up to us.
Up to each and every one of us - to find the way out of the maze of doubt, pain and disappointment. Not babies anymore, not children either, we had to learn how to become Spiritual beings. Adults.
A long time ago, I had a sheet of paper on my refrigerator that someone had given me. It said: "This life is just a test. If it had been a real life, you would have been given instructions where to go and what to do." I put it up because I thought it was funny.

Do you live your life as if this were true?
Because in truth, it is not just a test. You are living this life for a reason.

I had an interesting conversation with my son last night about life and what matters, which echoed a recent survey made by my friend, a self- development teacher. She asked her subscribers (over 3,000 of them) to pick what they wanted to focus on most in the next course she would offer. The responses were fascinating.

Over 80% of people, both men and women said they wanted to learn about how to live a life filled with meaning and purpose, how to make their lives matter, and how to be happy doing it. They chose this over courses on "Creating Financial Success and Abundance," and on "Making Your Relationship Work."

Think about it.

And in case you've you been wondering "where is this world going?"- it is going in the right direction! And it is changing - positively, even though outwardly, to many, it may still look that it's all falling apart.

No, the old ways are no longer working.
And - Yes, all of it has to come apart.
So that it can then - come together, in a new and better way.
And you are already sensing it, aren't you? You do feel it, or - know it, otherwise you would not be reading this letter, you would have stopped long ago.

Only recently, workshops on Financial Success or Relationships would have been the most attractive. Today, while these issues remain very important, more and more of you realize that unless you discover a way to make yourself and your life matter, you won't be able to truly enjoy the financial success. Today, you know you need to find a way to feel good and to be happy regardless of the external circumstances.

You also realize that unless you create a beautiful relationship with YOU, no relationship will another will ever work.

In the past you could say "I know I need to make time to look at my life, but right now I need to make money first," or "As soon as I meet my love, I will look at everything else"...today, you no longer feel this way.

And this makes my heart sing. This touches me so deeply.
In my work at the School and also with private clients, I see people taking such huge leaps. So bravely unraveling "the baggage" that was tying them to the past and letting it all go, letting their Light shine...
Such courage, so inspiring. People of different ages - from 22 to in their 60ies, coming from different religious backgrounds and different belief systems...doing the work and changing SO fast...If I wasn't witnessing it, I would have a hard time believing it myself.
Truly - The stuff of Magic!

I am so grateful to be part of this. As I said before and will always be saying, I get as much or more out of the experience....

All for now.

My old students, see you on Tuesday night!
My new students - see you on Wednesday, the 16th.

Love, Auriela
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Class Schedule Announcements

2009-08-30T15:39:00.000-07:00

A School of Hope and Inspiration

The ongoing Tuesday night group is now closed for new members.

The New Group Will Begin Wednesday, September 16th
Gathering: 6:30PM -7PM
Class: 7PM - 9:30PM

RSVP for address and directions
Auriela@AurielaMcCarthy.com
Classes are held in Southern Marin

I appreciate if everyone RSVPs, so I know how many seats we need.
Please, be on time, we will start promptly at 7pm.
So many of you had a schedule conflict and asked for a different evening. Here it is!

Tuition: Sliding scale: $40 - 55.
At the same time, no one is turned away at the door because of financial difficulties. (If this is your case, see me separately or write to me. I am also looking for volunteers to help with various School projects.)

The best way to decide if this work is right for you is to experience it. So come!

The Book Depot Talk in Mill Valley, California

2009-08-30T15:23:00.000-07:00

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Hello, dear friends,

First a reminder:

Wednesday, September 9th, 7:00pm

I am speaking at the Book Depot in Mill Valley

about The Power of the Possible, a book of hope and inspiration.

I hope you can come and join me and also bring your friends! I am looking forward to a fun evening and to meeting many of you, who I only know through correspondence, in person!

I will also bring a few 10-CD Audio Books of The Power of the Possible with me. They are read by me and are only available from my website.

If you are among the several lucky ones,

You Can Win

a 10-CD Audio Book, The Power of the Possible!

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"The First 30 Days" Conversation with Ariane de Bonvoisin

2009-08-24T17:09:00.000-07:00

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Hello, everyone

Here is this week’s show title:

Conversation with Ariane de Bonvoisin,
author of "The First 30 Days" Your guide to making any change easier.

- the change guarantee
- fighting change is like swimming upstream
- learning to make friends with change, developing the "change muscle"
- "you are stronger than you think"
- accepting change, ending the resistance
- feeling your feelings; telling yourself the truth
- giving yourself permission to be happy
- "from this situation something good will come"
- becoming “the change optimist”

Making change a spiritual experience.

The Question is Often More Important than the Answer

2009-08-23T23:11:00.000-07:00

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And now my thoughts on the subject of the last 2 letters:

As I always say, the question is often more important than the answer.

I have posed to you two questions.
"Sex...doesn't she owe it to me?"
and
"At what point it is OK to say no to your lover?"

Many of you were outraged by these questions. Some were puzzled, some remained "undecided..."

As one of you wrote to me: "Auriela, surely these are trick questions..."

Sadly, they weren't.
The questions came from real people. They came from people in pain.

Yet, in order to find the answers, the right questions had to be asked first.

So here is this week's food for thought.

Let's take it beyond sex.

Let's start with the second question posed: When is it OK to say no to your lover?
Here is the answer: Always.

If it is not OK to say no to a request, then it is not really a request at all, is it?
It is an expectation. It is a question with a built-in obligation to say yes.

When this is what takes place between two people, let's not pretend that it is something else.
The question would not even arise had the relationship been a healthy one.

To this point, read on.

Let's look at owing things to each other.

In my opinion, the very concept of "owing" something to another has no place in love or in friendship.
In business, perhaps. In love - no.

Owing means having an obligation.
It usually presupposes a debt of some kind.

Think about the people in your life that you love. Friends or your loved ones.
Whatever you do for them, you do it because you want to, don't you?
You love these people, you care about them, it is only natural that you want to be there for them, right?

Now how would you feel if they were to start pressuring you into doing things for them?
Would you still want to do them? Will you still have the same enthusiasm and desire? Certainly not.
You were doing them gladly, now - they expect it, now - you are obliged to do them.

Suddenly- there is a creepy feeling inside you chest...what is it?
Resentment.

You are being made to give what you were giving freely and that doesn't feel good.

As soon as the expectation of something being owed enters your relationship, you step onto a very dangerous ground.
And if you don't catch this soon, you are well on the way of losing what you once had with each other.

When you start doing anything in your relationship because you feel obliged to do it, it's time to take a good look at the relationship itself.

It's the time to ask the right questions:

-Why am I with this person?
and
-Do I still want to be there?

If the relationship is healthy, you will want to be there for each other 100% in every way, and in every area.
Why would it be different when it comes to sex?

And if your sexual needs differ, together you find a way to work with this and to resolve it. It is that simple.

If you don't, it is usually because there are other things that are already seriously wrong between you, things you have been avoiding dealing with.

Often, it happens like this:

You've had too many fights where nothing had been resolved, or - if you are not a fighting kind, too many hostile withdrawals and silences.
All of this led to resentments.

And when resentments entered your relationship they weighted it down. Took the spark out of it.
All the unexpressed, unaddressed, undealt with angers, hurts, fears, disappointments...clouded the energy between the two of you and made it murky.

And with resentments came the walls.

The invisible walls one or both of you had put up, so as not to deal with the pain.
And the longer this went on, the harder it seemed to undo it and the more it began to feel like "too much work."

So how much fun would it be to have sex under the circumstances?

Not that much. Easier to simply - forget about it.

But sex is a physical need, clearly. For many people, a very strong physical need.
Sexual energy, the primal energy, so powerful it creates life...why would you voluntarily say no to it?

Often because it is easier to just "settle." Often because you feel that "your partner is shutting you out."
Which in itself is rage-producing...And the relationship spirals down, and after a while - you tell yourself "we are good friends and that's enough" ( and even believe it)
or - the two of you turn into room mates, living parallel lives...
Sex? What sex?

Beware of your resentments.

"Resentment is the poison that kills." I wrote this once, in The Power of the Possible. Resentments are like tiny seeds of hostility swallowed whole.
And as they sink deep inside you - inside your body and inside your heart, they begin their destructive work, undoing the love, undoing the closeness...and suddenly you are polite with each other, instead of real. Polite, so as not to upset the fragile and false "peace."

And the distance between you grows. And making love is suddenly really "too much work," not at all what it once was. Imagine what you have to wade through to even begin?
"Don't touch me" becomes the message, whether it is spoken out loud or not.
Leading to more anger...leading to more resentment...

Add to this mix your sexual dissatisfaction and you have a real potent recipe for disaster.

At times, you find yourself wanting to have sex regardless of the state of your relationship, but your partner does not.
In your anger, and not knowing how to deal with this, you begin to demand it.
Acting as if it's owed to you!

But the more you push, the more you meet with resistance.
The more resistance comes your way, the angrier and more frustrated you get.

And it goes from bad to worse real fast.

In a situation like this - having or not having sex with each other is the least of your problems.
Your entire relationship is at stake.

Unattended, this becomes the status quo.

And that's how it happens that such an enormous number of married couples end up not making love to each other.

Not a happy picture. Sadly, it is a very common one.
If this is yours, then start with the right questions. The questions will point the way.

There is light at the end of this tunnel. There truly is. It starts - like everything - with the choice.
The choice to make yourself matter. To make your life matter. To make being happy - matter!
And with the choice - come the possibilities. The new road opens - and you take.
It is never too late! And when the student is ready - even the stones will speak.
The right book appears, the right class, the right seminar, the right teacher....

And if working with me feels right for you - then please, write to me, get in touch.

In the fall, I will be starting a new course on Making Love Work in Your Life.
On line, and also in person, here in the Bay Area.
Watch this newsletter for details or write to me.

All for now.

With love and hope,

Auriela.

Saturday, September 9th at the Book Depot, Mill Valley

2009-08-23T23:03:00.000-07:00

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Don't ask what the answer is. Ask the right question first..

Hello, dear friends,

Those of you, who live in the Bay Area, California,

Please, mark your calendars for

Wednesday, September 9th, 7 pm.

I am speaking at the Book Depot in Mill Valley
and
I would be so happy if you could join me!

Do come, and please, tell your friends about this so I don't have to speak to empty chairs :)
It will also be an opportunity for us to meet in person, if we haven't yet, and for you to get a signed copy of The Power of the Possible.
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Rage. Who, me? I Don't Do Rage

2009-08-23T11:54:00.000-07:00

Hello All. Here is the latest "Auriela McCarthy and The Power of the Possible" radio show.

“Rage. Who, me? I don’t do rage”

This show explores understanding the complexity of rage and ways to handle it:

-the difference between rage and anger
-specific conditions that produce the reaction of rage
-why it is hard and often impossible to respond on the spot -the consequences of ‘dormant’ rage -the ways and tools to release rage safely
-taking back your lost energy

A powerful meditation: a technique to release rage. You can use it for previous occurrences of rage as well as for the recent ones.

20 minutes that will change your life.

Conversation with Steve Sisgold, "What's Your Body Telling You?"

2009-08-17T18:00:00.000-07:00

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Hello, everyone, here is this week’s Radio Show

Conversation with Steve Sisgold, the author of What’s Your Body Telling You?

Tools to reduce anxiety and to develop self-trust.

- ”Life is not meant to be an out of body experience”
- paying attention, reading the signals
- tuning into your body on a regular basis and the difference it will make in your life
- the “fact or fiction?” question. Teaching yourself when to ask it; developing a habit
- responding to hunches, following your intuition
- the meaning of BQ as opposed to IQ
- the amazing story of meeting the Dalai Lama in India

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New Classes Offered this September

2009-08-14T15:57:00.000-07:00

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This September I am starting a new ongoing group -
every Wednesday, at 7pm.
Here, in Marin County and also, possibly (on a different evening) in another Bay Area location, on the Penninsula.

I would like to also offer a 12 week course on Loving
(one evening/or morning a week):
"Making Love Work: Healing the Wounds and Trusting Love Again"

And - a 12 week course
"To Stay or to Leave: Getting to the Decision That Works for You"
or -
"Healing and Moving on after a Divorce or a Break-up"

For this I need to hear back from you.
These are very powerful courses and I will only teach them now if you want to take them.
I would limit the participants to 8-10 people per class.

The Tuesday night group continues to be amazing. The work expanded and went deeper. My remarkable students-teachers are making quantum leap shifts surprising themselves and astounding me.
This is not an overstatement.
When I see their faces at the end of each evening, after the meditation is over, there is so much light, it takes my breath away.

What exactly are we doing?

Among other things, we talk. Often it's I who does most of the talking. Step-by-step, issue by issue, I offer a very different perspective on pretty much everything.

Are you surprised :)?

So much of it I covered in The Power of the Possible, a book of hope and inspiration.

A lot of magic happens at these meetings.
We work with everything that is still causing you pain.
Not with everything at once, but step-by-step.

With everything that keeps you in struggle.
With everything you want to create in your life and have not been able to so far.
And along with this you learn powerful tools and techniques to help you deal with pretty much anything.

Is there a plan? Clearly there is. Though it is sometimes side-stepped, if I am guided to address something else.
If it happens, it turns out to be just the right thing for the evening.
As I wrote before, I am simply an instrument, something else guides these meetings, someone much larger is charge.

We talk, and then I take everyone on a meditation.
This is where real, lasting changes take root.
The meditations are pure magic. Even though they come through me, they are not mine. Everyone participating experiences them differently.
The meditations can and do change your life.

Many of you have written to me wanting to come... And yet somehow - you haven't.
I once told my friend who couldn't decide to attend or not:
"If you absolutely resist coming, and if there are always circumstances that make it hard to do, then definitely - come!
And if you are neutral, or simply not interested - then you can do what you want, come or not come, it doesn't matter."

Why?

Because your resistance is there for a reason.
It is to get your attention.
If this particular work hadn't been important for you, you would simply not care. There would not be a push and pull.

If this is you, do come. Be stronger than your resistance.
The best way to decide if the work is right for you or not - is to experience it.

The Tuesday night group is getting pretty full and I am about to close it for new participants. If you want to make it, this is your chance.

And lastly, for the many wonderful friends out there, unable to take any of these classes in person: We are SOOOOO close!!!! Please, stay tuned for the announcement of the teleclasses and webinars that are coming soon.
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When is it OK to say No to your lover? continued

2009-08-14T15:38:00.000-07:00

When is it OK to say No to your lover?

Hello, again, dear friends,

The last newsletter brought in fascinating responses. Not surprising, since I doubt there is anyone with a pulse who hasn't had to deal with the issues around sex at some point.
The replies are as varied as the people who sent them. With their permission, I will share some here.
If you missed my last letter, here is the question I posted, based on a friend's comment:
"At what point, if ever does your partner owe you sex?"

I haven't yet shared my thoughts on this, I wanted to hear yours first.
The question hit a nerve. The responses poured.

Just to clarify something right away:
I am just as repulsed by the very idea of "owing" sex to anyone as are most of you.
But the issue is much deeper and broader than the sex part of it and it definitely invites a discussion.

I would like to continue with it, as do many of you, who wrote asking to hear more opinions.
So please, read my food for thought below where you will see a few responses from other people, and please, do send yours.
I only post them with your permission. Clearly, more needs to be said and shared.

And now, here is this week's food for thought:

First, I would like to invite you to listen to a radio show I recorded with Frank Sloan, a Personal development coach with Particular emphasis on spirituality,
"Sexuality: Keeping the Passion Alive"

Here are some reader responses to the question: "Sex...doesn't she owe it to me?"

-At the first moment I was a little bit shocked. Neither she nor he is owing sex the other side. Sex is a gift shared between 2 partners - married or not married. It is a expression of feelings to be ONE or to give yourself completely (even it is only for the moment) away to some one who deserve this closeness.
Sex alone is not Love - maybe love and sex go together - but if love is only based on sex - surely it will fail sooner or later. Love is an expression of being happly together sharing the moment or life .

Love is the greatest thing in life. Sex is a gift - you love to share with some one who can carry you away from all the daily problems - carry you into the World of fantasy.
Love is a gift you have to work for it every day - but never think somebody owes you sex - if you do - you are a looser - never a lovable husband nor friend - you are somebody who satisfy himself on the back of the others.

-Heinz Sprecher, Switzerland

* * *

- You have opened up quite a box! I highly recommend that you reference David Schnarch's book "Passionate Marriage : love, sex, and intimacy in emotionally committed relationships" and his audio "Secrets of a passionate marriage. How to increase sexual pleasure and emotional fulfillment in committed relationships."
In the audio book he discusses marriage as the crucible for personal development with sex being central to the relationship. It helps one understand that an emotionally committed relationships/marriage is the very thing which grows us (up)!

-K. Fisher

* * *

-In a loving relationship it would be my intention to give my beloved any and everything that I could whenever she wanted it...
and I, in turn would expect to be in relationship with a woman who would want to give me everything I want, whenever I want it as well.
So if she wanted, say, to have sex with me, then I would do that if it were at all possible....because I want to please her and give her what she wants...

When is it OK to say no to that request?

When I don't feel like it?...Not OK.
When I have a headache? - Not OK
When I want to watch television? - Not OK
When I want to cook dinner? - Not OK
When I want to talk to another friend? - Not OK
(these are all trivial things that should not be put before your relationship)
When I am bleeding? - Yes, OK to say No.

On the spectrum of reactions from minor to major...from "I'd rather not" to I'm bleeding/dying"
I would tend to place the "OK to say no point" closer to the
"I'm bleeding", then "I don't feel like it."

I think we should be wiling to do a lot for our partner.

Having said that, I want to know my partner's willingness to do what I want...sometimes willingness is enough...and you don't have to actually do it...
I would hope that I am sensitive enough to know when it doesn't work to have sex for my partner, and to back off and not press her...
that she was willing, is (sometimes) enough.

I think that in the ultimate relationship, it will never come up...you will not be pressed to do what you don't want to do...

-Vince Scaritch

* * *

- If sex is an expression of intimacy and sharing, the answer is simply No.
If I know that my partner doesn't want to share, be intimate with me, to force him or her would be using them for my pleasure.

But as I see it, the issue doesn't end there. What if one member of a couple stays in an I-don't-want-sex place for a long time?
I believe I have the right to choose not to have sex, but I don't have the right to choose that my partner be celibate.
In other words, if this aversion to sexual intimacy goes on for a long time (e.g., 10 weeks or more)
I believe it's time either to get into therapy to resolve the problem or to review whether the relationship will continue to be a monogamous one.

-Vivi K.

So where do you stand on this?

And what do you think about a relationship where you "owe" things to each other?

Let's take this beyond sex as well.
I know you still haven't heard my thoughts. They are coming! I promise! In the next letter.

All for now.
See some of you next Tuesday.

With love and hope,
Auriela.

September Program - 12 Classes, Once a Week

2009-08-09T18:05:00.000-07:00

Event Info

The School of Hope and Inspiration

Tuesday, August 11
Gathering: 6:30PM -7PM
Class: 7PM - 9:30PM

We will meet at the same location
in Southern Marin.

RSVP for address and directions - Auriela@AurielaMcCarthy.com
I appreciate if everyone RSVPs, so I know how many seats we need.
Please, be on time, we will start promptly at 7pm

Here is what I am planning for the coming fall.

In the beginning of September I am starting a program - 12 classes, once a week.
To Stay or to Leave? Getting to the decision that works for you.

So many people, both women and men, spend years this state I call "to stay or to go?" when leaving feels impossible and staying doesn't work either.
I want to help you get to the place when either one of them will work.
The place where you will know what's right for you.

When you are continuously vacillating between leaving and staying, driving yourself insane with doubt, guilt, fear and anger - you are making the situation that is already very difficult much worse. I say that from personal experience. I have spent many years at the end of my first marriage in the exact same state. And it was excruciatingly hard.

In the end, I developed a process that illuminated everything I needed to understand and to accept and the decision that had been impossible was suddenly clear as a day.
If you read The Power of the Possible, you know my story.

When you are faced with a decision that will change everything in your life you are being continuously flooded by feelings that are overwhelming.
Getting to clarity becomes extremely hard.

You may be telling yourself that you want to leave and then discover that you don't, and what you actually want is to make your relationship or marriage work.
Or it can be the other way around.
And even once the decision becomes obvious, you still need tools to be able to follow it with action and even more - you need the tools to be able to go on afterwards.
A very real difficulty, as many of you have discovered.

For those, still unable to move on after the divorce or a bad break-up, regardless of how many years ago it happened, I have developed a process of a step-by-step healing and lifting out of the pain of that past, so that you can go on with your life and have another chance at love and happiness.

Only too often, the pain of ending a relationship and the scars that you are left with interfere with your ability to trust love again. If you have been there, you know what I am talking about.
I want to help you.

This course is clearly not for everyone, since not everyone is dealing with the issue. But many of you do.

This class will be limited to a small number of people, understandably. If you are interested, please contact me soon, I will send you all the details.
Email me at Auriela@AurielaMcCarthy.com

I will post details here later on as well, but the class may be filled by then, so why take the chance?

This week's food for thought is on the subject of sex.

Here is my question for you:

At what point do we owe sex to our partner?

To those of you already clenching your fists getting angry at the very suggestion of "owing" sex to anyone - relax. It is just a question.
It came about after a conversation I had with a dear friend of mine, a man.

The issue is not new.

The thought process goes something like this:

"We are in an exclusive one-on-one relationship. She (he) has lost interest in sex. But what about me? Shouldn't there be an assumed responsibility? An understanding of the other person's needs? A tacit expectation?" She (he) may be not interested, but shouldn't she do it for me?? We are a couple after all..."

As you may suspect, I have a lot of thoughts on the subject. And as always - a rather strong opinion as well :). But. Rather than sharing them with you, I am inviting you to write to me with your ideas and thoughts first.
How do you feel about the situation I described? What has been your own experience? What do you believe is the right way to go?

I will wait for your responses and then I will give you my thoughts, OK?
Please, write. And make sure not to miss next week's letter!

All for now.

See some of you next Tuesday, as always...

Sending you all my love,
Auriela.

P.S. Follow your intuition and if it feels right, forward this to your friends or your family members.

P.P.S. If you don't live in the San Francisco Bay Area, stay with us through these emails and keep sending me your questions. I am planning to do this work via Internet at some point. I will of course let you know when it happens.
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Forgiveness Meditations

2009-08-07T14:56:00.000-07:00

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Hello, Dear Friends,

Another week has passed.

The Forgiveness meditations' downloading seems to have taken a life of its own.

A continuous stream of people is coming to my website daily to get the 2 meditations. What a powerful thing word-of-mouth is! You have an amazing experience and you share it with your friends. And it spreads. Farther and farther, in all directions and around the world. I see so many foreign names...and I find myself thinking "What country are you from? What continent?"

People I will never meet and in most cases will never know anything about are reaching across the borders for this one website called Power of the Possible, because someone told them it can help them heal their pain.

Here is the link to the Forgiveness Meditations
Here is the link to World Wide Forgiveness site

And once again I am moved beyond words by the mystery of it all.

Here is what one woman wrote to me and gave me permission to share with you:

"The meditations were fantastic. A very interesting thing happened to me after doing the meditations. I've been fighting a sinus infection for over 2 months. Two weeks ago I finally went to the doctor to get antibiotics, a desperate move for me (I avoid them as much as possible), but the antibiotics didn't even work. I was at my wits end.

After doing the meditation to forgive others my sinus infection went away! I've been holding on to some hurt feelings towards my family (in regards to my cancer experience). I didn't think it was possible, but I was finally able to let go of my hurt feelings. I didn't understand these last 2 months that my sinus infection was connected to my anger towards my brothers and mother. I'm still amazed at how easy it was to forgive them, I was thinking that my relationship with them would never be the same. I was at a crossroads.

In one morning I rid myself of hurt feelings and a sinus infection, WOW!! Thank you so much."

--Wendy McClure.

I will add to this the words of Eva Korr, a holocaust survivor:
"Forgiveness is the best medicine. It's free, it has no side-effects, and it works!"
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Hitting Bottom. What Do You Do When Nothing Works?

2009-08-03T11:10:00.000-07:00

You can listen to this week's
The Power of the Possible Radio Show
through iTunes and this WebTalkRadio link

"Forgiveness, what a concept!” one man’s experience of healing the relationship with an aging parent

A woman’s story of amazing courage: Defying the regime, standing up for dignity

Excerpt from The Power of the Possible: The Wife of an Alcoholic:

“to save” the one you love: why it doesn’t work and what does
what you can accept and what you cannot
the paradox of power and powerlessness
when powerlessness is the most powerful state of all

"Yeah, Yeah, I Know...Now What's For Dinner?"

2009-08-01T21:12:00.000-07:00

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Hello, dear Friends,

I'll start with a few announcements.

This Saturday
August 1st, 10am to 5-6pm

I am teaching a one-day workshop

"Manifesting the Life You Want.
The Secrets, the Tools, the Techniques."

The workshop is for the ongoing group of the School that meets every Tuesday night.
This morning however, responding to my intuition, I decided to make it available to a few more people.
I feel that there is one or a couple of you out there who have been wanting to come for a long time, yet haven't quite made it. You will know if this is you. You need to write to me right away then.
There is only space for 2-3 people.
For those of you who are coming: in preparation, think of something you want to have in your life, yet have been unable to create.

Also:

This Sunday, August 2nd, at 11am and 1pm Eastern Time, (8am and 11am Pacific Time) - on the 1st Anniversary of The World Wide Call to Forgive,
we will be joining people from all over the world in 2 time-synchronized meditations: one: forgiving yourself and another: forgiving someone else.

All the details are on WorldWideForgiveness.com

If you plan to participate, remember to download the 2 meditations.
They do work! It's true.

You can access them from the website above ( I created it just for this event) or from PowerOfThePossible.com (Home page, center right). People have been downloading them all week, so do it soon, let's avoid the computer crashing with the last minute rush:).

Event Info

The School of Hope and Inspiration

Tuesday, July 28
Gathering: 6:30PM -7PM
Class: 7PM - 9:30PM

We will meet at the same location in Southern Marin.

RSVP for address and directions. Auriela@AurielaMcCarthy.com

I appreciate if everyone RSVPs, so I know how many seats we need.
Please, be on time, we will start promptly at 7pm

ForeWord Magazine Books of the Year 2008 Award

I have been smiling so much this week. I am known to burst into laughter,
for no "apparent" reason, anyway, even as I record a radio show.
But this week, an especially larger number of wonderful emails have been landing in my inbox, making me very happy.

Just this morning, I discovered that, unbeknown to me, The Power of the Possible has been a recipient of ForeWord Magazine Books of the Year 2008 Award: Bronze in the Family and Relationships and Bronze in the Self-Help categories.

How did I miss this announcement that came out in late May???
This is not only a prestigious Award, it is also the book's 6th Award!
I learned about it perusing the Amazon list, and suddenly - there it was, the list of the book's Awards submitted by the publisher, including this happy surprise!
Wasn't it a great way to start the day?

Suddenly - I am getting many emails from India, where "The Power of the Possible" has been published this winter.
Almost every day new ones come.
Most of them from men, some of them bring tears to my eyes.

Through this correspondence, I have become friends with a pastor who works
with abandoned children and impoverished families in India and Nepal.
He asked my permission to quote a passage on forgiveness in his next sermon. He says it is badly lacking in churches...

Permission?? Always, of course. This is the second time a comment of this nature came my way.
Another one was from a deeply spiritual man of Christian faith. He wrote to me how doing the forgiveness meditations had helped him forgive his mother, and how he was finally able to let go of his anger at her and to relate to her as a person, and not just "his mother."

"Forgiveness, what a concept!" he wrote, describing to me how this pure act of Grace has changed his life, changed the life of his mother and opened the way for both of them to have a more compassionate and more appropriate relationship.

His comment made me pause.
How can forgiveness possibly be a new concept for anyone?

I thought about it. And then - I realized something.

Here is this week's food for thought:

It's not that the idea of forgiving is new to people.
But somehow it doesn't seem to have as much juice as, for example, good old revenge.

You hear people talk about forgiving... but unless you've experienced it yourself in a profound life-changing way, you can't relate to it. Not really. Plus, it seems too easy, to nebulous, too..."weak"?????

So often, you mention forgiveness to someone who is in pain, and suddenly- their eyes glaze over, they change the subject, they get bored, and you hear something like: "Yeah, yeah, I know...I need to forgive, ok, ok...Now, what's for dinner?

And you wonder: what just happened here?
Here is what I think just happened:

It is very a real phenomenon, and it happens with everything you begin to take for granted - and shouldn't.

Let's call it Familiarity.

This is how it works:

To stay with the example of forgiveness:
You hear about it so much and so often that eventually - you stop paying attention.
And soon enough, the very thought of forgiveness becomes too "familiar." When it does - it as if it has lost its punch.
Lost its ability to stop you in your tracks, to send a jolt through your body, to raise hairs at the back of your neck, to bring you the "aha" moments....

This happens with everything you allow yourself to get too used to. Like the every-day sunshine for those living in the sunny climate. Or the ocean - for those who live by the beach.
Or the love of your partner who is there beside you every day and every night...
There was once a time the very thought of that person made you catch your breath.
Now - you are used to it...now they too have become "familiar."

All these wonders in your life - wonders of nature, wonders of love...
You start taking them for granted. Stop valuing them.
Stop giving them attention. They become "ordinary," to be expected...

Forgiveness is no different.

When you dismiss it, shrug your shoulders, say, yeah, yeah, I know...I'll get to it..
What you are actually saying is the magic of if is lost to you.
The miracle of it is not something you can relate to anymore.
It's not something you have experienced.
And if you did, it was too long ago, and now it has lost its power to wake you up.

That's why you don't do it. Or - not do it with the intensity and power of choice that makes it really matter.

And that's why when suddenly, you do forgive, and the experience of it is astounding and life-changing - it shakes you up, wakes you up from the stupor..and all that's left are tears of gratitude and the astonished words:
"Forgiveness..what a concept!"

I say: Let's change that!

Let's stop taking it for granted.

Try this: Make forgiveness a "brand new" idea for you. As if it is something you have just discovered.
Learn what you can about it. There is such lack of understanding that surrounds it.
Even watching my video: Time doesn't Heal All Wounds. Forgiveness Will can make such a difference.
See The Video Here

It is one step that will change everything. Yet - it can be miles deep and decades long. Don't let it be so.
One step. But until you take it, until you cross that bridge to the other side, peace will remain unattainable.
That peace of mind we all want above everything else. Real and solid, unshakable, regardless of your circumstances.

The map to get there is through forgiveness. It has no shortcuts, but it works!

I will end by quoting a comment left on my FaceBook regarding the World Wide Call to Forgive

"What a wonderful movement.... it's so funny and simple, just practicing this one thing - just one - would literally pretty much end all the world's problems. Sounds absurd, but I challenge you to send me a problem which wouldn't be resolved by forgiveness - can you think of any? If so, let me know."

How can you say it better?

All for now.

See some of you tomorrow, Saturday, for the one-day workshop,
Or on Sunday as we connect energetically through the same meditations,
or - next Tuesday, as always...

Sending you all my love,
Auriela.

Responding to Listeners’ Questions

2009-07-27T21:22:00.000-07:00

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Responding to listeners’ questions:

Click here to listen to this week’s show:
The Politics of Sex in Relationships;
Dealing with Infidelity;
A Mother’s Difficulty in Forgiving
Herself for Leaving Her Children.

-”we are in a monogamous relationship, isn’t sex “owed’ to each other?”
-looking at the bigger picture
-does “give and take” have a place in a relationship or marriage?
--when do you know you are with the wrong person?

-the fragility of trust
-listening to your own voice, shutting down all other voices
-can broken trust be rebuilt
-trusting yourself to know if you can trust another

-can leaving your children be forgiven?
-when is leaving your children the right thing to do?
-accepting yourself, accepting your adult children's choices
-stepping back, becoming an inspiration
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WorldWideForgiveness.com

2009-07-24T14:41:00.000-07:00

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Dear friends,

This is a very exciting letter for me to write.

Because it is an invitation to you to participate in the most amazing
International event.
And the best part is that you can do from the privacy of your home
and with your eyes closed.
Yes, literally - with your eyes closed.!

Before I tell you what it is (what can I say? I am a writer, I like suspense:))...
please, read the story below 8and then go to www.WorldWideForgiveness.com to read more.

Sometime in the spring of 2008 an idea came to me seemingly out of the blue.
An idea that wouldn't leave.

What if I were able to connect great numbers of people on the same day and at the same time so that all of us would focus together on one singular thing?
What an immense wave of energy that would be!

And if I were able to do that, figure out a way to bring all these people together, what magic can come out of our combined focus?
What powerful change will everyone participating be able to create!

These days, with the Internet at our service, figuring out how to make this happen wasn't all that hard.
Plus I have my own radio show where over 30,000 people a week listen to yours truly.

The more I thought about it, the more excited I became.
And that's how the idea became a vision, and the vision became a reality.

At this point you are probably wondering what was it that wanted us all to focus on?
What was it that made me lose my sleep imagining possibilities?

It was the most beautiful thing of all:
Healing the heart, forgiving the past and letting go of it all once and for all.

I wanted to create a vortex of energy where people could forgive themselves and others, heal their heart's pain, heal their Soul and set themselves free.

Did we do it?
You bet! And it was the most breath-takingly beautiful and poignant experience.

I created a 45 minute, 6-Part video, "Time Doesn't Heal All Wounds. Forgiveness Will."
I recorded 2 Forgiveness Meditations: one - to forgive yourself, and one - to forgive another.
(Why the meditations? Because it often is the most elegant and powerful way to experience forgiveness.)

I put it all up on my website, and sent out the Call.
I chose the date for the event to coincide with The International Day of Forgiveness, which was originated in Marin County, California in 1996 and is celebrated every year on the first Sunday in August.

And the word spread like wild fire.

Countless numbers of people downloaded the meditations.
And the movement: The World Wide Call to Forgive was born.

It was an amazing, stunningly powerful experience!

Gathering in groups or in the privacy of their own homes, people from all over the world meditated together at the same time last August 3d, releasing the burden of pain they had been carrying inside all their lives.

A year later, I still continue to receive feedback on this.
I decided to keep the meditations on my site (it's been over a year now) and to this day, every week more and more people keep downloading them. I am deeply touched.

This year we are celebrating the 1st Anniversary of The World Wide Call to Forgive.

Read all the details about it on www.WorldWideForgiveness.com

Yes, of course we are doing it again.

And you are invited!!!!!!!!!

August 2nd, 2009

First meditation: 11pm Eastern Standard Time (8am Pacific)
Second meditation: 1pm Eastern Standard Time (10am Pacific)

Please, join us. Be part of this amazing experience.

It will be something you will never forget, and it can change your life.
Download the meditations, and do them with all of us!

And now you know what I meant when I said you can participate
with your eyes closed!

Here is this week's food for thought:

What would you say to me if I asked you to imagine spending most of your life in prison, serving a life sentence without possibility of parole?

Perhaps, serving it for the crime you did commit, or worse -
serving it for the crime that had been perpetrated upon you?

Even imagining this is enough to send shivers down your spine.
Yet this is exactly where you live, as long as you carry the pain of the unforgivable inside your heart, inside your body, inside your soul and inside your spirit.

It is your own internal prison.

It may be invisible to others, if you are really good at wearing a mask, or it may be very visible and obvious to people who know you well.
Regardless, it is still a prison, a prison in which you have voluntarily put yourself and threw away the key.

Before you get angry at me because I may not know what happened to you in the past, what was done to you or what you might have done to others...listen.

It's true. I don't know of your painful past (or present.)
But I do know pain.

There was once a time I thought I would drown in it...Often, I wished I did.
I am yet to meet a human being living today who doesn't know this dark place.

I used to called this bottomless pit "home" for so many years...
In my pain, I believed I had a right I to stay in that prison, after all - bad things had happened to me, and no one seemed to ask forgiveness...

I remember saying to the man I was in love with once: "you must know that I can never forgive."
Yes, I wore my pain as a badge of honor. I even used it to threaten and to manipulate with.

Did the man recoil? Not at all. He could totally relate to "not forgiving." It made perfect sense to him.

I stayed in my prison and wondered why I could never make love work in my life, why my successes never lasted or brought any lasting fulfillment?
Why happiness remained unattainable? Why did I have health problems?

And had I stayed there longer, you would probably not be reading this letter now, nor would I still be around to have written it.

And then a miracle happened. A dear friend entered my life and gently pointed me in the direction that saved my life.

It was the path that took me to forgiveness.

As I began to wake up, I realized that unless I find a way to let go of what pain I had experienced in my past, that pain would eventually kill me. If not physically, then emotionally.

I realized that was all in my hands.
I was the one with key to my own prison, and it was up to me to use it or not.

That key was forgiving and letting go.
I understood it. And still, I couldn't do it.

It seemed easier said than done.
I would get angry at the very thought. And as long as I was filled with righteous anger and rage, it was impossible to forgive anyone or anything.

You can spend years in therapy - gaining every kind of awareness and understanding and insight.
But it won't ever be enough.( And if you have tried that - you know it yourself.)
Unless you forgive and let go of the past for real.

Awareness is very important - as the first step. But it won't lift your pain. It can't.
Only forgiveness will bring you peace.
Only forgiveness will release you from that past.

I learned that You cannot negotiate this. You cannot go it halfway.
Sometimes forgiveness came to me in stages. Other times - I could forgive in one full sweep - never knowing how it happened exactly, just knowing that it's over. I was free.

And because I had been on both sides of forgiveness:
from refusing to forgive, to trying and failing at it, to finally succeeding and stepping - like through a looking glass - onto the other side, I can talk to you about it from my heart, from own experience.

Listen.
Forgiveness is a Mystery. It is perhaps the greatest mystery of all, because it is Divine Grace.
It is a miracle, it is a gift.
It is all of these things and so much more.

Words are inadequate to describe the miracle of forgiving. We can't really "do it."
You can take the steps, do your part and then - receive it.

You need to experience this. And once you do - nothing is ever the same.

Understand: Forgiveness does not mean taking away accountability.
It doesn't mean you will now have to bring back into your life the people who caused you pain.
But it will set you free from them. And then - it will be up to you to ever see them again or not.

Because it is not about them. It is about YOU. You deserve it!
You don't have to live at sufferance of what happened.

And if it is yourself that you need to forgive - the same rule applies.
You won't be able to ever be as loving and as giving as you could be, if deep inside of you there is a "knowing" of something you did that was unforgivable.

But what if that's true? you might think.
How DO I forgive the "Unforgivable?"

It is a very important question and it comes for so many people.
That's why I created a 6-part Video "Time doesn't Heal All Wounds. Forgiveness Will" addressing the controversy of forgiveness.

It is all on www.WorldWideForgiveness.com

The meditations are yours forever, to be done any time it feels right to do.
Every time - forgiving at a deeper level.

So join us.
What have you got to loose? The old baggage and the old pain?
You can always bring them back if you start missing them and you know it by now, don't you?

Imagine what life would be like on the other side of the looking glass?
Once you step through?
Imagine the life you will be living once your past doesn't hold you back?

You have an entire week to watch the video, to think...and to get ready.

All for now.
See some of you next Tuesday!

Much love to you, always,
Auriela.

EVENT INFO

The School of Hope and Inspiration

Tuesday, July 28
Gathering: 6:30PM -7PM
Class: 7PM - 9:30PM

We will meet at the same location in Southern Marin.

RSVP for address and directions
Auriela@AurielaMcCarthy.com
I appreciate if everyone RSVPs, so I know how many seats we need.
Please, be on time, we will start promptly at 7pm

Conversation with Jeff Connerton, author of “Hi, Josh”

2009-07-20T15:59:00.000-07:00

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Conversation with Jeff Connerton, author of “Hi, Josh”
Part One: Addiction and Death.
Part Two: Recovery and Healing.

This show is for every parent and for everyone who lost a loved one to drug addiction.

Subcribe to
Auriela McCarthy's
The Power of the Possible
at iTunes

-a teenager’s experiments with drugs
-from experiments of addiction
-the danger of missing the signs of addiction
-dismantling the myth of “harmless” drugs

-crossing the line to the “point of no return”

a teenager's struggle to end the addiction
a father’s struggle to save his son
the tragedy

-living with the grief of loss
-blaming yourself
-the road to recovery and healing
-acceptance and forgiveness
-“the missing doesn’t end, but grief does”
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What Price Happiness?

2009-07-18T11:10:00.000-07:00

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Hello, dear friends,

I am back home again, having left a part of me in New York with the tiny baby I fell in love with. There will be more flying back and forth for me now because my life is here, in California - and I love my life here! Yet it was so hard to leave.

It was wonderful to have our Tuesday night class again. I missed everyone, missed our weekly experience, missed my "student-teachers".
I borrowed this term from my beloved teacher Tamara Diaghilev, the only human being I have met so far who I experienced as being unconditionally loving.
Tamara used to call her students "my student-teachers." That's what we all are to each other, and she knew that. Partly retired now, she is my dearest friend, as radiant and beautiful as when I first met her over 20 years ago.

EVENT INFO

The School of Hope and Inspiration

Tuesday, July 21

Gathering: 6:30PM -7PM - Class: 7PM - 9:30PM

We will meet at the same location in Southern Marin.
RSVP for address and directions.
Auriela@AurielaMcCarthy.com

I appreciate if everyone RSVPs, so I know how many seats we need.
Please, be on time, we will start promptly at 7pm

* * *

Here is this week's food for thought

Last time I suggested you take a look at some pretty tough questions and answer them (to yourself) honestly.

The essence of the questions was:

Why am I still holding on to the past and what am I getting out of keeping it alive?

Here is what one woman has discovered and allowed me to share it with you:

Divorced for 10 years, she was still blaming her ex for what he "did to her" during their marriage. 10 years have passed, yet she was still using the past to keep herself from being happy again.

Why on earth would she be doing that???
A million dollar question.

How about because being happy meant "taking her ex off the hook?" Which meant not being able to continue to blame him for all her present relationship problems?

She has also discovered that she had been using her failed marriage as an excuse not to trust love again, thus sabotaging every new opportunity for happiness...

A scary thing to learn about yourself - on the one hand. On another hand - what freedom may come once you see that it is you - not anyone else - that is keeping you stuck!

Blaming can be oh, so juicy. While love is always fraught with risk.
You can be hurt again...(yes, you can.) Love doesn't come with a guarantee that it will work.
Nor does life. And if you are older than 10 you have noticed that by now.

You can hide behind blame and enjoy a quick, cheap shot of power, and you can live this way for the rest of your life rather than risk being hurt again...As long as you are clear on the price you are paying.

Somebody very wise once said that there are no free lunches.
There is always - the price. Sometimes the price is your happiness. Other times - the price is your freedom. Or - the price can be "getting another chance..."
The price is the price. The question is: is it beneficial or detrimental for you?
The question is also - are you willing to pay it?

You can blame and stay in the place of victim, refuse to take your power back from your past - and the price you will be paying is happiness, joy, feeling good about yourself...

Or you can risk being hurt again and - take the plunge! Go for it, give love another chance...
With one caveat. Look at what hadn't worked in the past, understand, own your part in it and resolve to change.

At the risk of making a lot of you very angry, I will say that divorce or any bad break up is always 50/50 % responsibility of both people. Even in the case where it seems to be screaming "NOT SO."
( I won't go into this now, because this is too important and deserves it's own post. And if you have read The Power of the Possible, you know that I too have divorce in my past, and that it came with a lot of pain, and that I too was at one time absolutely certain that "it was all his fault.")

"There are always risks in freedom. The only risk in bondage is - getting free."
This quote is among my favorite ones by Lazaris.

So who has the key to your prison? You do! How wonderful. To return to the example I gave above, if the key belonged to the woman's ex husband she would really be in trouble, wouldn't she? And until she was able to see that, she might as well have handed him the key and invited him to lock her up.

And it looked as if he was the one with all the power while she had none.

Why?
So that she could blame, blame, blame...so that she could continue to feel sorry for herself...
Was the pay-off worth it? Was the price too high? You tell me.
But before she could make any changes, she needed to be honest with herself about her hidden agenda.

And here is the tricky part.
What do you do next?

"But Auriela, isn't it obvious? I will change, I will start acting differently..."

Not so fast, dear friend, not so fast.
Because what often happens after the exhilarating moment of self-discovery is this:
Suddenly you hear the voice on your head saying something like:
"How could you have been so stupid?! You never "get" anything! What makes you think you deserve to be happy after all you've done..."

Or it will be:
"What? Take the bastard off the hook? After all he had done to me??? Am I just supposed to forget it??? And he never even apologized to me once??? No way..."

The voice of your ego.
Recognize it for what it is, and refuse to listen.
It was this voice that had kept you stuck all these years. Why not try something different this time?

So here is the formula for change - in short:
1. See your part.

2. Feel what comes up, no matter how uncomfortable and painful.

(easier said than done, I know, but totally doable as long as you stay with the sadness and the remorse without making yourself "bad and wrong." You are simply human, you don't always have the answers. No one does.)

3. Forgive yourself. No change will happen without this step. You may want to do it, but you won't be able to. And you will stay stuck, repeating the same old pattern again and again.

4. Change.

"But what if I can't forgive?"

This is a very legitimate question.
One of the best and most elegant ways to experience forgiveness in through a meditative process of a guided visualization.

On my website's Home page, on the right hand side, towards the center of the page, there is a link to the meditations to forgive. These are guided visualizations that will take you through the process in the most amazing, magical way.
I once received these meditations as a gift. Now I am simply passing it on. My gift to you.

Just click and download them, and they are yours forever.

Only forgiveness sets you free. Change then becomes its by-product.

Both are mysteries never to be understood fully.
We do our part - and enjoy their gifts.

So how about it?

Give it a try! See what happens!

( and if the voice in your head says: "too much work," you know whose voice it is.)

Say "thanks, but no, thanks" and be on your way!

All for now.

See some of you on Tuesday!
Much love to you, always,

Auriela.

P.S. Follow your intuition and if it feels right,
forward this to your friends or your family members.

P.P.S. If you don't live in the San Francisco Bay Area, stay with us through these emails and keep sending me your questions.
I am planning to do this work via Internet at some point.
I will of course let you know when it happens

What is the Right "Why?" Question?

2009-07-12T15:09:00.000-07:00

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A School of Hope and Inspiration
What is the right "why?" question?

Hello, my dear friends,

First, a huge thank you to everyone who wrote and sent me your happy thoughts and congratulations. I was so grateful to get your emails. It is amazing what the Internet has done for us! I feel as if there is an entire family of friends that has been forming since the opening of the School, and even though many of you are all around the country and the world and there are many who I have never yet met in person, I am feeling your love and your support very palpably. My heart is overflowing.

I am still in New York, but I will be coming home on Saturday night. What can I say? My little baby grand daughter has already stolen my heart. How can you not love this precious tiny bundled-up miracle that is so innocently sleeping in your arms? She is one week old and such a content little baby.

I can't take my eyes off her. Mostly, she sleeps, then eats and sleeps again. When I get to sit with her and to hold her in my arms while she is sleeping, there is nowhere else I'd rather be....

EVENT INFO

The School of Hope and Inspiration

Tuesday, July 14 th

Gathering: 6:30PM -7PM
Class: 7PM - 9:30PM

* * *

I watch the baby sleep in total awe. She sleeps so peacefully, totally trusting that she is going to be OK.

Sometimes she opens her eyes and considers whether or not she should start crying, but then decides that it's too much work and why bother anyway? Having made this very wise decision she closes her tiny eyes and is gone dreaming again. So much more fun! Don't laugh :). This is exactly how it looks to me. And while she sleeps, several eager adults - her parents and grandparents - are all focusing on one thing and one thing only - making sure her every possible need is met.

Does she wonder whether or not she is deserving of such attention? Is she concerned about being worthy of all the fuss? Does she have any problem receiving all the love she is being showered with?

Do I even need to answer these silly questions????

And here is this week's Food for Thought.

Are the questions really that silly?
Weren't all of us at one time tiny infants? Weren't we all born sure we were deserving and worthy of love?
Willing to receive everything? Expecting it totally?

Forgive me for pointing the obvious. And yes, I know difficult things happened to you in your childhood, and in the years that came after that. I don't want to discount it in any way, nor to diminish the pain, if it is still there. And today you have a story of the past that won't go away...

Everyone has a story.

I do too, if I choose to pull it out, dust it off and breathe life into it again.

But why?

I lost interest in mine long ago.
Aren't you tired of yours?

What happened - happened. And it happened in the past.
It doesn't have to affect you today. It is possible, truly possible to leave that past behind, heal the pain and move beyond it, even if it feels like it has become part of you...

In order to do that, you need to tell yourself the truth about something. You need to ask yourself one question you have never asked yourself before. Ask the question and then - answer it. And answer it honestly.

And what question is that?

I am getting there, I promise.

How many times have you heard yourself say or think "Why?"
Why did it happen to me? Why was I so unlucky?
Why me, God? What have I done to deserve this?

Not finding the answers, sometimes deciding there is no God, since "no real God would have allowed this injustice"... .

And the question remained: "Why me?"
And there was never an answer, was there?

Often, it lead to bitterness, resentments, anger, feeling sorry for yourself, feeling like you are all alone...
But it never led to relief.
Do you want to know why?

Because all the time you've been asking the wrong question, while the right question remained hidden right in front of you, in plain sight .

It was also a "why?" But a very different "why."

What you needed to ask yourself all along was this:

-Why am I still holding on to that past?
-What am I getting out of keeping it alive?
-Who do I want to keep punishing?
-Who do I want to keep on the hook?
-What are the pay-offs I am getting out of not letting the pain be healed?
-What does it allow me not to do, that I otherwise would be doing?

These are not pretty or easy questions to look at.

The good news is - and if you've been reading my food for thought for a while, you know - there is always good news coming - that once you start answering these questions honestly - answering to yourself only, no one else needs to know unless you want them to - you will feel as if an immense burden is being lifted off your shoulders.

Yes, this is true. You will be discovering parts of yourself you won't be proud of, things about yourself you never wanted to look at or admit...and the burden will start lifting!!!! How can it be?

Just try it. You never have to take my word for anything. I will never say to you "just trust me." I hope to always be trustworthy. So try it for yourself - and be amazed.

Because once you see that it was actually you who had chosen to live at sufferance of what had happened to you years ago, made this choice in this day and age, when so many avenues of growth and healing are available, it will also become immediately obvious that you can now make a different choice.

It's that simple.
If it is up to "them," up to the people who caused us pain, then we are really in trouble. But if it is up to you - then you are in charge of your life and you can be free from "them!"

You can stop feeling "undeserving" because your father told you so when you were 5, or 15, or whatever age. You can stop feeling "unworthy," stop having difficulties with receiving love...
Stop giving all the tired excuses you have been giving for years and instead - decide to learn how to do it all differently.

Think about it.

The newly born infant knows it is 100% worthy, 100% deserving of everything it can possibly need or want. And has 0% problem receiving love.

You were once an infant. And you knew it as well. You were born knowing it. It is the Universal Law. It is the Truth.

And then - you forgot it. Because of "life," because of everything that had happened. Because forgetting it was actually the entire point! So that later, when you are ready, you can remember it. So that the knowing is not automatic, (the way the baby has it) but a conscious choice. Your conscious choice.

And that's powerful!
Oh, the places we can go to once this truth sinks in!

It is also a great place to stop for now.
Think about what you've just read. Take your time.
Honor your cadence. Return to this letter, read it again.

Next week, I will show you the steps to getting there.
I call them: The Steps to Freedom.
I will not just show them to you, I will take you through them. We will do it together.
And it will work!

It will work - if you decide to make it work for you. No one else can make this choice.
It will be easy - if you take the time to answer the questions.

And if I haven't lost you long ago and you are still reading this - I am sure you will find the time!

All for now.

See some of you on Tuesday.
I am so looking forward to it!

As always, I am sending you love,

Auriela.
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I Said I Was Sorry and I Didn't Die

2009-07-06T15:08:00.000-07:00

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A School of Hope and Inspiration

Hello dear friends,

I am writing this from New York. My son and daughter-in-law are about to have their first child. And I am about to have my first grand daughter!!!!!
Not sure how I feel about the "grand" part of the word, (don't laugh) but I am definitely sure I am going to adore her!

Since I am going to stay in New York for at least a week, our next Tuesday class ( July 7th) will not take place.

I am so very sorry to miss the class and I know I will miss you all.

I definitely plan to be back in time for the following Tuesday, July 14th.
Stay tuned.

I know so many of you are waiting for the promised Internet webinars.
We have been a bit stuck on the technical side of things.
But we are very close now. It is all in the process and it is coming.

I am so incredibly excited to have made it to New York on time, before the girl is born.
I wanted to be there when she comes. The hospital is 10 minutes by cab from where I am. I am writing this expecting my cell phone to ring any moment...

* * *

So here we are, waiting...They are in the hospital, I am in their apartment, "on call." The girl is taking her sweet time, she has her own plan for the arrival. I personally am convinced that the time and place of birth is never random. Nothing is, of course. How naïve would it be to think that while we are still "on the other side," we don't calculate every detail of our birth including day, time and geographical location.
Why? So we can have our personal astrology precisely aligned with what we intend to do on the planet: aligned with our focuses and plans for this lifetime.
I know I am standing the risk of losing some of you right now and you may be considering clicking on "Unsubscribe...."

Wait.

Remember: there once was a time we believed the Earth was flat. We also believed the Newtonian physics of cause and effect was the only way anything happened...Today, quantum physics and "The Law of Attraction" are becoming mainstream...Along with all kinds of things metaphysical, so vehemently dismissed only a few years back.
One of my favorite quotes:

"All truth undergoes 3 stages. First, it is ridiculed. Then - it is vehemently opposed. And finally, it is held to be self-evident." Schopenhauer.

Well, Auriela...if you are saying we choose every detail of our birth prior to our birth, does it mean we also choose our parents????
Sure, we do. ( I thought you'd never ask.)
Absolutely.
I know this brings all kinds of feelings, if you have never considered this possibility. Relax. This is GOOD news. I won't go into the "whys" and "how come" now. This is too important a subject and deserves its own time.

We will be covering it in great depth at the School, and I will write about it separately. For now - take it as more food for thought. See where it takes you.

With one caveat.

If your childhood was far from wonderful, don't rush to make yourself "stupid" or "crazy" for your choices. Have the humility to accept that you may not know or understand all the reasons now. Trust that you will, in time.

I can be off to the hospital at a moment's notice and stand the risk of not finishing this letter, I decided instead to share with you something I wrote some time ago. It is one of my favorite subjects. Enjoy!

The School of Hope and Inspiration

Tuesday, July 14th

Gathering: 6:30PM -7PM
Class: 7PM - 9:30PM

We will meet at the same location in Southern Marin.
email RSVP for address and directions.

Auriela@AurielaMcCarthy.com

Here is this week's story and Food for Thought.

Some time ago I ran into my friend - I'll call her Annie - at Peet's Coffee. Before long, we were having our cappuccinos and chatting.

"Remember we talked about letting go of our need to be right?" Annie suddenly asked.
Of course I remembered. I have written an entire book about it.
Every story in the The Power of the Possible in one way or another talks about it:
Stop trying to have the last word. Stop trying to prove your point.
Let go of needing to be understood. Become understanding instead.
And - keep your relationship instead of destroying it one fight at a time.

"Whenever you are wrong, admit it, whenever you are right - shut up". Ogden Nash's tongue-in-cheek and yet so right-on advice on marriage comes to mind.

I try to live by it...

And yet, sometimes it still is difficult to bite my tongue (pun intended.)
This is when my husband might suggest something like "You should read your own book!"
Not the best time to tell me this. ButJ. You teach what you need to learn.

Back to the story.

"I had an amazing experience," Annie tells me sipping her coffee.
"The other night I was at Jack's place and he showed me something
that was very important to him. And I immediately criticized him.
I just began to correct him on everything. And I hurt his feelings.
I saw that right away because he became very quiet and withdrew.

Normally I would not have backed off. I would have continued to push.
But I stopped. I remembered our conversation about giving up the need to be right,
and I did something I have never done before in my life.

I said 'I need to take some time alone.'
And then I sat on his sofa with my eyes closed for 20 minutes .

I made myself relax, and I saw how inappropriate I was. How judgmental and hurtful.
I didn't like what I saw. I tired not to judge myself for it. And I felt remorse.
Then I opened my eyes, and apologized to Jack.
I told him that I was really sorry and I meant it."

"What did he say?" I asked.
"He began to cry. He said it was the very first time in his life that a woman apologized to him and admitted that she had been wrong.
And as he was wiping his tears he was thanking me.
This was when I started crying myself. I felt so close to him, my heart just opened.
After that we just sat there for a long time holding each other's hands and not talking.
I don't remember being so vulnerable before. It felt so good not to be right."

"He had a huge healing of the heart, didn't he?" I said.
"He did. And I did too," Annie said. "We have gotten much closer after that."

I thought about it on my way home.

Who can't relate to being certain that you are right and that
the other person HAS to get your point?

And how hard it can be to have clarity when you are blinded by your emotions and won't think!
(which happens to also affect your Self-Esteem. Read my previous newsletter.)

In fairness, it's next to impossible to think and feel clearly right there,
in the moment. That's why pause is genius!
Say "time out." Go to another room. Calm down. Honor yourself
and your partner by doing this.

Now - think.

If you do, you may surprise yourself. Suddenly - everything will look so different...

You will have 2 options.

1.To judge yourself as a "bad" person, which will stop all process of healing and change,

or

2.To do what Annie did:
Admit to yourself you made a mistake. Don't go into shame or pride.
Feel genuine regret for your behavior. Forgive yourself - you are simply human. Decide to not act this way in future
and then - for God's sake - just apologize!

You won't die or be struck dead. I promise.

Say you are sorry and mean it. And unless you are dealing with a monster who is just waiting to take advantage of your vulnerability, you will be amazed at the miracle of love and closeness you will experience with each other.

(And if you are with a monster - what on Earth are you doing with that person?)

More food for thought.

All for now.

Have the happiest 4th of July!
This is such a wonderful cause for celebration.
Celebrate Freedom! And celebrate Your Life! You are here, you made it. You can think, you can feel and you can act.
You can hope and you can have a Future filled with Possibilities.
Let it in. It is a wonderful thing.

I am sending you all my love,

Auriela.

P.S. Follow your intuition and if it feels right,
forward this to your friends or your family members.

P.P.S. If you don't live in the San Francisco Bay Area, stay with us through this blog and keep sending me your questions.
I am planning to do this work via Internet at some point.
I will of course let you know when it happens.

A 2,800 Years Old Super-Centenarian Living in our Midst.

2009-06-30T00:50:00.000-07:00

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A mind-blowing true story of a 2,800 years old super-centenarian living in our midst.
Conversation with a security consultant Ben Abba about his forthcoming book Secrets of an Immortal.

Click Here to Listen to Auriela's Weekly Radio Show

Meeting some of the oldest living people on the planet.
Among them – a 2,800 years old man who looks like he is in his sixties.

CAN THIS BE TRUE????
REASEARCH AND PERSONAL EXPERIENCE SAY YES.

-Is it possible to defy death?
-The oldest people on Earth view death differently
-Living while the ones you love die...the way the oldest people on Earth handle loss
-The Knight’s Templar experience as told by a former Knight Templar
-changing identities, changing names
-an eyewitness account of the events described in the Bible
-working on changing time with Leonardo da Vinci
-the daily habits of a 2,800 year old man
-the secrets still untold

Intrigued??? Listen to the show and stay tuned for more to come!
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A mechanism inside my brain???

2009-06-28T11:35:00.000-07:00

"- We are not here to save anyone. We are here to love. To heal ourselves and to hold the light for others. And then the light will point the way."
- Auriela McCarthy

A mechanism inside my brain???

Hello dear friends,

Another week has passed. Every week we have new people joining the School. The other day I ran into a friend who thought that since she hadn't started at the beginning it was now too late. Good thing she told me that, so I had a chance to reassure her.
Remember, you are always welcome. There are no prerequisites for coming to a class. You come when the timing is right for you. Just trust your intuition and you are draw to come, then by all means, come, don't talk yourself out of.

It's Thursday and I am still basking in the afterglow of our last Tuesday night. What an evening we had!
We looked at the Self-Esteem, what it actually is and why it is often so illusive, and boy-oh-boy, how much there was to look at.

EVENT INFO

The School of Hope and Inspiration
Tuesday, June 30
Gathering: 6:30PM -7PM
Class: 7PM - 9:30PM

We will meet at the same location in Southern Marin.
RSVP for address and directions.
Auriela@AurielaMcCarthy.com

I appreciate if everyone RSVPs, so I know how many seats we need.
Please, be on time, we will start promptly at 7pm

Here is this week's food for thought:

Imagine that somewhere inside your brain a mad scientist has planted a very unusual measuring device. This device works non-stop, does not require a battery and as along as you are alive it is going to continue taking measurements.
You can neither fool it, nor disable it. It dies when you die and not a moment sooner.

And what does it measure?
It measures and rates your performance as a human being in this world.
Not your success with your career, not your achievements, not how much money gave to charity, but - what kind of person you are.

Among the things it measures every second of your life are the following:

Are you being honest? Are you willing to be responsible?
How well do you think? How deeply do you feel?
Do your feelings run your life or can you hold them in proper perspective? Are you being trustworthy?
Kind and compassionate? Or are you hurtful to other people?
Do you keep your word? What principles do you hold and how often do you live by them?
Are you able to ask for help and to receive it when offered?...

You get the picture.

If you can imagine an internal device that's set to measure all this and more about you, then you are getting a glimpse into the inner workings of your Self-Esteem.

Regardless of whether you are aware of it or not, every second of your waking time you are rating yourself as a human being along the lines I have just described.

You may tell a lie and get away with it. But not as far as your Self Esteem is concerned. Because YOU know you have been dishonest and that gets you low marks from yourself.
You may have just hurt your partner and gotten away with this, - but not as far as your Self-Esteem goes. Because as soon as you made that nasty comment - your Self-Esteem plummeted.
You might have avoided taking responsibility and let someone else do what you should have done, but the moment you turned your head away from it your "goodness" measurements dropped.

Others may never find out that you have been dishonest. They may let you get away with how you act... But not you.

You won't let yourself get away with anything when it comes to how you rate yourself as a human being.

And if accepting your weaknesses and forgiving yourself is hard for you, and if you continue to act in ways that gets you "low marks" from yourself - sooner or later, as your Self-Esteem drops lower and lower, you will start feeling as if you are "unfit to live" and will begin looking for sources of Self-Esteem in all the wrong places.

For example: You will try getting it by making more and more money, by driving a better and more expensive car, by owning beautiful homes, by receiving Awards and Medals for your achievements, by becoming more and more successful...and discover that none of it gives you your Self Esteem.

All the things I just mentioned are important, admirable and valuable, but only as feedback about how good you are at what you are doing - NOT as a source of you Esteem.
They have to do with your skills and talents and with your determination to succeed.

But they have nothing to do with what kind of person you are.
Which is what your Self-Esteem - the love you "earn" from you - is all about.

If you are reading this and thinking, hey, as long as I have my success, why should I even bother? Why can't I just enjoy the success and forget about all the rest? Who even cares about my Self-Esteem?

You do.

Because Self-Esteem is a need, not a preference. Not something that would just be "nice to have."
You need your Self Esteem. As do I. As does every human being alive.
Need it as much as you need food, water and oxygen.

And it is not something you can negotiate.

Without food and water and oxygen the physical body will die.
Without Self-Esteem you may keep your body for a number of years, but you will be walking though life absent and dead.
Nothing will be enough. Nothing will satisfy and bring lasting pleasure.
Something will be always missing, and you will be unable to feel good about yourself regardless of the facade you show to the world..

When you seek Self-Esteem in the places it can't be found your life becomes riddled with anxiety, guilt, fear, doubt...all these so-called "bagaboo emotions" that suck away your joy and end up ruining your life.

You know people like that. You are probably thinking of someone right now who fits the description. It breaks your heart to see them this way.

I am not exaggerating and yes, it is scary.

The good news is that Self - Esteem (if it is weak) can be strengthened and rebuilt.
You have to want to do it, of course.
And as always the first step is telling yourself the truth, recognizing where it is lacking in you and consciously going about it building it back.

Every week I send you food for thought.

If you want to improve your Self-Esteem, why not start with working on your thinking?

"But everyone can think..."

Are you sure?

Everyone can run or dance or slide down the hill in a toboggan. But only a few become Olympic Champions or world famous ballet dancers...Those who do - practice, don't they?
They practice until it becomes their skill and then their art.

Being able to think is no different.
Being able to think well is an ability that can be developed by practicing it.
Think. And evaluate your thoughts. See if what you are thinking is based on fact or on your projection.

Let's take an old joke as an example: "Just because I am paranoid doesn't mean they are not after me."
Correct. So think. Are they?
Am I really in danger here or am I making it up out of my out of control fear?
Do I need to take action to protect myself or do I need to let go and lighten up?

If you start doing this, you will also built a stronger base for Self-Trust and you will also become more Trustworthy.
See how connected it all is?

I give you food for thought in every letter.

You can take any idea or concept I write about and massage it, try it on, linger with it - THINK on it!
Think about what you just read about Self-Esteem.
Does it make sense? How does it apply to you? To other people you know?

Being able to think is part of having strong Self-Esteem.

Look at the questions in the beginning of this letter that help you build your Self-Esteem and answer them the best you can.

This alone will move you forward beautifully.

I will give you more tips on how to work with it in the next letter.

And keep sending me your thoughts. I love hearing back from you and I always respond.

All for now.
See some of you on Tuesday.

Much love to you, always,
Auriela.

What Does It Mean to Have Self-Confidence?

2009-06-22T15:49:00.000-07:00

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The show describes the characteristics of a self-confident person taking a deeper look at each and giving powerful examples.

The qualities below describe the person with self-confidence. These qualities when well- developed ill have a profound impact on your life.

You Can Listen to This Week's Radio Show
The Power of the Possible
by clicking here

The show ends with a powerful meditation to develop and to increase these qualities.

1.Courage:

-refusing to live the life that other people expect you to live
-following your own voice, going for your own dreams
-going forward even if you don’t have all the answers
-going forward even if some of the answers you have are wrong
-refusing to ignore and dismiss your talents and gifts, living your life in
a way that your gifts are expressed

2.Hope

Self Confident people are optimistic, positive and filled with hope:
-they do not treat hope as the last resort, but as a powerful tool of manifestation
-they have a well-developed ability to expect good results and positive outcomes
-they acts in anticipation of the outcomes they expect

3.Trust

Self-Confident people have a well-developed sense trust:
-they trusts themselves and those worthy of their trust
-they do not ask you to trust them, but they are trustworthy
-they do not rely on trust without a solid basis for it nor do they expect others to do so

4.Humility.

Self-Confident people look at each situation with fresh eyes.
Each experience is treated like a brand new one, without the overtone of an expectation based on the past.
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Courage and Trust

2009-06-19T11:30:00.000-07:00

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Hello, dear friends,

Again I start by thanking you so much for your support! As more and more of you are responding to my emails, I am getting more and more inspired and excited about this work.

Once again - I am humbled by what happens every Tuesday night.
It almost makes no sense for me to announce the topic of the evening
in advance. Last time I had a definite plan to work with Self-Esteem - such an essential piece of our foundation, and instead Courage and Trust called on us demanding we go into greater depths with each.
And we did.

Courage...Trust...We use these words so often.
But have you actually paused and thought how each of these powerful concepts applies to you directly?
How do they affect the way you live your life?
The way you act? The way you respond to situations and to people?
Make decisions (or don't?)

EVENT INFO

The School of Hope and Inspiration
Tuesday, June 23
Gathering: 6:30PM -7PM
Class: 7PM - 9:30PM

Here is this week's food for thought:

I came upon a shocking piece of data recently.
Over 91% of people spend the majority of time every day doing 2 things:
Being frustrated by their co-workers and thinking about quitting their jobs.

Imagine that?

That means they are unhappy almost the entire time they are awake.
I won't even go into what a waste of time and energy it is.

But think.
What does it mean "being frustrated" by other people?
It means blaming, complaining, "venting" (such a charming word.)
It means getting a cheap hit of power and a temporary and false release from the anger and the disappointment with yourself. Because focusing on others is a distraction from what's actually going on inside you.

And why are you angry and disappointed with yourself?
Because - you are hating your current situation - your job, or something else equally important -and doing nothing about it.
And you know it better than anyone. That's what you really hate, not your co-workers, nor the job itself.

Because you want to be inspired.
You want to inspire yourself by doing something exciting, courageous, powerful.
Inspiration is that breath of fresh air that makes us straighten our shoulders, see what's Possible, feel happy to be alive.

Acting courageously is inspiring. Stretching yourself is inspiring.
It is inspiring to others and - more importantly - to you.
This doesn't mean sabotage yourself and leave your job this moment without any plan or any idea of how you'll make your ends meet.
Nor does it mean waiting forever to quit either.
It means making the right choice and starting to move in that direction.

Remember: having Courage doesn't mean having all the answers before you act.
It means going forward in the direction of your dream even if you don't.
It means refusing to give up and to conform. It means refusing to settle.

And for this you need Trust.

Courage and Trust and so connected. I am speaking of your ability to trust yourself.

Can you?

Because if you can't yet, it is much better to tell yourself the truth so that you don't set yourself up for failure.
For example: If every time you meet someone new you tell yourself that he (or she) is "the one," this is definitely not the area where you can trust yourself.

On the other hand, if you are with a person and everything looks perfect on the outside, everyone keeps telling you how lucky you are and what a great "catch" he or she is...while every fiber of your being knows - you don't belong with each other and that you have no soul connection - maybe indeed this IS the area where you CAN trust yourself.

But will you have the courage to act on your knowing?

One thing to always remember regardless of where your self-discovery takes you is Being kind.

Be kind to yourself. Accept your humanness, give yourself plenty of room to heal, to grow, to change.
Don't expect immediate, dramatic changes.
Small steps, Loving and kind steps in the right direction will take you there faster than a huge leap across the abyss ever will.
You may not make it, you may crash and hurt yourself and decide to never again....
Don't do that. If you are tempted to - it's your ego talking. Tell it "thanks but no, thanks."

But keep on moving!

And that's what we looked at and worked with during our last evening, and in a very fascinating way it set the stage for working with Self-Esteem next time.
You will see how it is all connected when I write about it.

All for now.

See some of you on Tuesday! (And yes, the group is growing so beautifully!!! )
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Conversations with Lisa Nichols, "9 Steps to Living the Life You Love"

2009-06-15T15:43:00.000-07:00

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Conversation with Lisa Nichols, author of No Matter What. 9 steps to living the life you love.

Click Here
To Llisten to Auriela's Online Radio Show

-Making a choice to go after your dream “no matter what”
-Flexing your “bounce back” muscle
-Navigating life’s bumps
-Lisa’s exercise to let go of what’s holding you back
-Powerful NLP technique to change the beliefs that do not serve you
-Lisa’s journey towards forgiveness

-Important information for parents of teenagers: transformational workshops for teens
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The Importance of a Good Foundation - Self Confidence

2009-06-15T13:15:00.000-07:00

Hello, dear friends,

Another week has passed.
The School is growing beautifully and steadily. I am so happy and fulfilled after each Tuesday night, I feel like flying.

EVENT INFO

The School of Hope and Inspiration

Tuesday, June 9th

Gathering: 6:30PM -7PM

Class: 7PM - 9:30PM

We will meet at the same location in Southern Marin.

email Auriela@AurielaMcCarthy.com for more information or with your RSVP. I appreciate if everyone RSVPs, so I know how many seats we need.
Please, be on time, we will start promptly at 7pm

Here is this week's food for thought:

Every builder knows the importance of a good foundation.

It has to be strong, level and stable for the building to stand straight and be safe for people.
If the foundation isn't level - the building will be crooked. If it isn't stable the building may fall down.
If the foundation is weak and breaks - the building breaks with it.

In that respect, we, human being, are not that different.
We too need a good foundation in order to function well in our lives.

And what is our foundation made of? Many things, clearly.

Among them, very importantly, is - KNOWING that you have value and worth,
Really knowing this, in your gut.
Also: feeling good about yourself, having confidence, knowing you are going to be OK, no matter what...

If these qualities are well-developed, your foundation is strong.
If they are not - you have a shaky foundation and are probably having a hard time dealing with a lot of things in life.
You also, most certainly don't like yourself.

An inspiration came to me last week to now and then teach an evening on one of the elements that make our foundation.

Last Tuesday we began with Self-Confidence.

How important is Self-Confidence?
About as important as being able to walk straight, breathe fresh air and know that you do have a future...

Yes, that important.

To put it simply, Self-Confidence is knowing that you can cope.
No mater what happens to you. Knowing you can survive no matter what.
Having this gut-level knowing. And living from this place.

Not many people have self-confidence.
Do you?

If you think about a self-confident person, who comes to mind? Anyone?

It will be a person who is not in their ego, not self-centered or conceited,
nor acting as if the world revolves around them... ( all of which are anything but..)

Think about a woman or a man you believe is a self-confident person.

What makes them so?

If you are not sure, here are the 4 qualities each of them would have to various degrees:

1.Courage.

They have the guts to live the life THEY want to live. (Not the life other people expect them to.)
And they move forward on their dreams, act in spite of their fear.
They may not have all the answers, nor have "all the ducks in a row ..."
More often than not their "right" answers turn out to be the wrong ones...

But it doesn't stops them.

2.Trust.

Self-confident people trust themselves. And trust those that are trustworthy.
They follow their intuition. Making a mistake does not terrify them...
They know the Universe is a friendly place.

How do they know it? They just do.

3. Hope.

Thanks to Barak Obama the very notion of hope is back in our consciousness.
Finally, it is no longer -the last resort, no longer something to do when everything else fails.

Hope is such an immensely powerful tool to create our lives with. And it is intricately connected to the Future.
People who can't hope and have no sense of their Future, don't change and don't heal.

Just think about it.

If you are a self-confident person, you are going to hope for and expect good outcomes. It will be automatic, like breathing.
You will expect the good, you will hope for it, and you will usually attract it. How else can it be?

Is it arrogant? Not at all. It is actually the opposite.

Because the fifth quality you will have as a self -confident person, is humility.

4. Humility.

Staying in the present and responding to each situation as if nothing like that ever happened before.
Not coming at it with the built-in expectations based on "how it always works."
For example, just because your friend is always late, he may be on time tonight.
Or - just because your neighbor never helped you with anything when you asked her, she may do it now.

Because in your confidence, you know you can cope with whatever happens, awful or wonderful.

Last Tuesday night we massaged each of these ideas and concept. Tried them on, found examples.

Sometimes discovering how little confidence you have is very painful.

But wouldn't you rather know it, so you can do something about it?
Telling yourself the truth may bring sadness...
So what?
Now, you have something to work with. Something to heal in yourself, something new to develop.
And that's exciting! And powerful. And - it can be done!

Equally important, if not more so, is discovering how much self-confidence you already do have!
I cannot stress enough how life-changing ( no overstatement) it will be if you were to sit for a bit with each of the qualities and notice not just the ones that are missing or weak, but the ones that work!

Print out this email. Look at the list.
Discover your strengths and own them. Celebrate them - and they will blossom more.
Then take a look at your weaker sides and begin to build them up.

And then one day, when a situation calls for action, you will find that you don't react the way you used to in the past.
You are now responding from a place of confidence. Handling things, doing what needs doing, being in your power...

So much will change in your life once you develop self-confidence. And if it is already beautifully there - becoming aware of it makes it stronger,

In our next class: Self-esteem.

Unfortunately, this is one of the most misused words in our culture. (And if you come to the class, you may discover it may not be what you expect.)

You can do a full day workshop just on Self- Esteem and still not cover everything.
I will do my best in the format of one evening:).

If you live in the Bay Area and have been planning to come - this one is definitely not to be missed.
I will say that much: Understanding what Self-Esteem is (and is not) and working with it was one
of the most important steps in my spiritual journey. Life-changing information and tools.

All for now.
Look forward to seeing some of you on Tuesday,

Love, Auriela.

More on the "Unspeakable"

2009-06-06T17:36:00.000-07:00

"- We are not here to save anyone. We are here to love. To heal ourselves and to hold the light for others. And then the light will point the way."
- Auriela McCarthy
A School of Hope and Inspiration
More on the "unspeakable"

Dear friends,
The School of Hope and Inspiration is really taking off!!!
I am sorry I haven't yet been able to offer it online or on the telephone.
Thanks to everyone who wrote asking me to do this. It is coming.
For now, if you live in the Bay Area of San Francisco, I am planning to have our first one-day workshop sometime in June.
Watch out for the announcement.

The last email letter with my thoughts about rage brought more responses than any other one I had sent.
I am not too surprised. Speaking about "the unspeakable" of rage was like swinging open the door to the house of shadows and dark secrets.
Once it is opened, it won't stay shut. I say: hallelujah! About time.

EVENT INFO

The School of Hope and Inspiration
Tuesday, June 9th
Gathering: 6:30PM -7PM
Class: 7PM - 9:30PM

We will meet at the same location in Southern Marin.
Please email for address and directions.
Auriela@AurielaMcCarthy.com

I appreciate if everyone RSVPs, so I know how many seats we need.
Please, be on time, we will start promptly at 7pm

Here is this week's food for thought:

To give you a sense of how powerful this work is I will share with you something one woman wrote to me after attending the evening.
(With her permission of course.)

"...A day or so after our Rage session and the meditation retrieving some of the power that we have given away over the years, I got really sick. I thought that it must be the flu, but then it lasted less than 24 hours - diarrhea, vomiting, fever. It left as quickly as it came on and I am left with an intuition that it was not a virus, but rather my body letting go of a lot of old stuff - churned up by the work on Tuesday...
I lost 3 pounds of old stuff!...Powerful work!"

Will you be surprised to hear that when this woman came to the next class she looked different?

And no, it was not that she was 3 pounds thinner. This - I couldn't see.
And yet the difference was unmistakable. It was in her eyes. They had more light, more sparkle. Her posture seemed different too, as did her energy. If I had to put into words the intangible of an internal change - which is a challenge in itself - I would say she had more space for joy, more peace and also - more wonder and more excitement about life.

Am I being poetic? I am not. Other people saw that too. You could not miss it. Were the 24 hours of physical discomfort worth this change? You decide.
Does this happen every time? Absolutely not.
Does it have to happen for the change to be real? Again, no. But it can.
The physical body is usually the last one to catch up. And when it does,
the symptoms are not unlike those of detoxification.

When you have a physical malady that requires surgery - like an appendix that has to be removed so that it doesn't burst and kill you, you expect to be weak and in pain for a while after the surgery.
You also expect the scar to remain tender to the touch and to hurt for some time.

But this doesn't stop you. You go ahead and have the surgery anyway.
Because you want to live. Because you don't want to be poisoned by the stuff that will spill out of your appendix if it were to burst.

Is an inflamed appendix (or a stomach ulcer, or a tumor...) any different from rage (or shame, or envy, or guilt...) that - as long as it remains
unaddressed - is putrefying and rotting inside your body?

Is there any connection between an organ that is sick and a constricting emotion that's stuffed into it?
Of course there is. A direct connection.

Even our medical doctors - more and more of them - are joining
the Metaphysicians who have been saying this all along.

Can unaddressed emotions kill you just as easily as a burst appendix or any other terminal illness?
You bet.
Can they be healed? Leading to increased physical health, turning back the clock on aging? Absolutely.

In my past, I had several incidents of being taken to the emergency room with internal bleeding. A few of those times - "in the last minute." Why was I bleeding high up in my stomach, right where it meets the heart? What was it my heart knew and "could not stomach"..?

These questions were right in my face.

I had to make a choice: to continue to avoid the real pain that led to the bleeding, or - to look it straight in the eye and to begin to heal it.

The body doesn't lie. We can lie to ourselves, but only for so long.

I am healthier now than when I was 19 years old. Yes, you read this correctly. (And my son is older than 19 now.)

Let me ask you this:

Does your physical health matter to you?
Would you like to have vitality and aliveness regardless of your age?

Do you want to have more energy so you can create what you've been dreaming about?

Do you want to be able to act on what you know about The Law of Attraction:
think happy, positive thoughts and feel happy positive feelings,
so you can attract more of it into your life?

Do you want to be able to do it for real, and not for 5 minutes, and then plunge back into anxiety, or fear, or worry or doubt, or - rage?

It starts with an awareness: I have pain I have not been willing (or ready) to touch.
And it is followed by choice: I am making myself matter: I will heal my pain. I will celebrate my life.

Followed by acting upon that choice.

Many paths can take you there. Take the one that calls you.
The School of Hope and Inspiration is one of them.
Is it the one for you? If it is, you will know. Our door is wide open.

All for now.
Send your thoughts, questions and comments, you know I always respond, and usually - in depth.

See some of you on Tuesday,
As always, I am sending you love,

Auriela

Rage? But I am a nice person, I don't do rage!

2009-06-05T09:07:00.000-07:00

Here is more food for thought.

* * *

Rage? But I am a nice person, I don't do rage!

At our last evening.
Suddenly and seemingly "out of the blue" a very "unsexy" topic of rage was in our face. And it was demanding attention.

Rage???? Why not work with something much more attractive, much more exciting like abundance, or success, or creating more love in your life?
(Actually, that was my plan for the evening. Believe me, if it had been "up to me," I wouldn't be working with rage in the first month of the School. I wouldn't be bringing heavy artillery right at the start...But I am not entirely in charge when it comes to these evenings. YOU are. Something GREATER and MORE is.)

Why rage?

I'll tell you why. Because as long as you are blocked by rage, it is going to be pretty darn hard to manifest any lasting success and any real abundance in your life.
And as for love - what do you think being filled with rage does to you and your relationship with love?

Moi? Filled with rage? What are you talking about, Auriela? I am a nice person, a good person, I don't' "do rage...."

Let's identify what I mean by rage first.

Many people use the word rage as a synonym of anger:
"Rage is loud anger, stronger anger, angrier anger..."

Not so.

More often than not, rage is not loud at all, and not in your face. It is usually very quiet, silent and deadly.
Deadly to you.
And deadly to others when it eventually spills out of you.

When someone demeans your character, humiliates you, insults your dignity and devalues you as a human being - you experience rage.

Any one of these (or all of them) will produce it. When someone treats you this way you experience a huge loss of power. It is as if you have just been punched in the gut. As if something inside you has been punctured and is now leaking...
What are you leaking? Your power. Your energy.

When this happens, you are usually unable to respond. Or if you do, it does nothing to make you feel better.
And you can't shake off the experience.

Think about it.

You have been punched and punctured, and you've lost some of your power. And not just that - you are now leaking that power, that energy, getting weaker, losing your life force, and in most cases - you have no idea of what has just happened to you. You may think you are angry, but it is more than that. Anger can be felt and let go of. It takes energy and effort to keep bringing anger back. Anger will dissipate with time. Rage will not.

It will sit inside until you are ready to deal with it, "repair the leak," take your power back. But you need to know how to do it first.

Now imagine years, decades of instances of rage...layer upon layer...unattended. Poisoning you, taking away your energy...
Is it any wonder that you want to leave the job you hate, but you just can't...you want to leave the relationship... but it is too hard...
You say you want to meet someone, but it's just too much work...you want to go after your dream, but you just don't have what it takes...

You've lost too much power, too much energy over the years.

No, rage is not something you can ignore. It is a time bomb hidden inside your body...ticking away...ticking away. It needs to be acknowledged, uncovered and dismantled.

And the good news is it can be done. And it can be done safely.
And not that from then on you will never experience rage again; but you will know how to handle it, how to respond to it, how to take care of yourself, close the leak, repair the damage and get your power back!
You could do it as soon as it happens or soon enough.

This is what we worked with at our last evening. Unexpectedly, surprisingly, magically.

And let me tell you: It was powerful, powerful work. I was blown away by the readiness and by the vulnerability of everyone in the class. I was honored to be part of it . Honored and deeply touched.

I know that most of you live around the country and the world and couldn't attend even if you wanted to.

There will be other opportunities. I am working on creating a series of teleclasses and I will let you know as soon as I am ready.

For now, just think about what you read. If this is new information for you and you want to learn how you can work to heal rage, write to me.

So what are we going to do at our next class? I plan to work on creating success.
Will we? This remains a mystery.
I guess I will find out with the rest of the group.

Those of you still "on the fence," can't decide to come or not to come? You are so welcome!
Join us, see if it is right for you (geography and time permitting.) It is always fun.

Send your questions and comments, you know I always respond, and usually - in depth.

All for now.

See some of you on Tuesday,
Love, Auriela.

P.S. Follow your intuition and if it feels right,
forward this to your friends or your family members.
P.P.S. If you don't live in the San Francisco Bay Area, stay with
us through these emails and keep sending me your questions.
I am planning to do this work via Internet at some point.
I will of course let you know when it happens.

Overcoming Fear of a Career Change

2009-06-01T18:03:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone, here is this week’s show title:

Click Here and Listen
to
This Week's Show

Overcoming Fear of a Career Change.
Conversation with Marina Spence, author of Make Very Day a Friday.

-hating your job, yet staying out of fear of change
-do you really want to change your career?
-the pressure of having to make a decision

Deciding “not to decide” IS a decision!
-any decision is better that indecision
-taking another look at the situation
-starting small
-hearing the voice of your intuition

What does it mean to be a courageous person?
-understanding courage
-the opposite of courage: automatic and blind conformity
-cowardice: a steadfast refusal to see the truth.

The destructive and dangerous force of indecision.
,

What the heck just happened between us?

2009-05-27T11:43:00.000-07:00

.
Here is more food for thought.

What the heck just happened between us?

Couples, this one is for you.

Women, how often have you heard yourself say in utter frustration:
"But all I wanted to do was tell you what happened..."

Men, how often have you heard yourself say (with equal measure of frustration):
"But I was just trying to help you..."

Only to discover that you somehow managed to upset, irritate and anger your partner for some mysterious, incomprehensible reason.

Let us demystify this.

If I were to tell you that men and women differ from each other so much that we might as well be two different species, would you agree?
Most of you would, I am sure.

Why then do we still expect the other sex to behave in ways that makes sense to us? To have the same emotional responses? To take the same action?

Because that's what we would do under the circumstances?
Come on, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to see the absurdity of this expectation.

We have just defined the underlining reason for most of our conflicts with the opposite sex.

Let's take a look at some of our differences.
(I apologize in advance for a rather simplistic explanation of our biology.)

Women have a need to express their feelings, and to do it verbally.
We call it sharing.
For us, this is not a preference, but a NEED. A biological need if you will.
When we do that, we immediately feel better. That's why picking up the phone and talking to a friend who will listen never fails. That's why when we gather in groups we talk and we share with each other.

When we do this - the hormone called oxytocin gets released in the brain. And we need that hormone! It is our "feel good" medicine. We get in many ways, (sex is one of the ways) - but also - through sharing.

Add to this the fact that under normal conditions women's emotional response to things is 5 times stronger than that of men. This doesn't make us better or worse, "more than" or "less than" men. It makes us different.

Let us take a look at men.

Men do not need the amount of oxytocin that women do. Too much oxytosin for men is actually not a good thing at all.

Nor do they have a built-in need to share. When men get together, they often play games: chess, backgammon, volleyball... or - watch a game, or talk politics and sport. They seldom share their lives except with a close friend and even then - selectively.

What men do need however - is to be left alone now and then so they can "chill," do nothing, stare into spaceJ (this usually drives women crazy, because they don't "get it,") flip the TV channels, "aimlessly" sit in front of the computer screen...
And during this "non-activity" they get the hormone they do need: dopamine.
They NEED it in much bigger doses than women do.

One more thing compounds our differences:
Men have a built-in, knee-jerk, genetically enforced response to women. And it is to make her happy (!). Oh, yes. Which means to take care of her, to protect, to defend, to provide for etc. etc. etc.

Make her happy? This sound good...
But wait a minute. This also translates into: solve her problems, make decisions, offer advice, do things for her, rescue her from trouble...
This may be nice and good, but in most cases - not what the woman of today wants at all.

She can take care of her own problems, she is making her own income, she has her own career... she doesn't want him to tell her what to do....
what she does want is to be able to talk: to SHARE her feeling and to have him LISTEN.
Yep. That's all.

And here he is. Listening to his wife or girlfriend telling him how badly her day went, or what a difficult talk she just had with her boss, or with her sister...or any number of unpleasant things she needs to get off her chest... and every fiber of his being demands that he interrupts, corrects the situation, makes sure her troubles go away...

He is ready to act, but she is still talking.
And he makes the first mistake:
"Can we get to the point please?"
"I am not finished talking!"
"Why don't you do x-y-z? Next time don't do a -b - c..."
"I don't need you to tell me what to do!!"
"But if I can't help, then why are you telling me this???!!"

He is also sure she is OVERREACTING (because, remember? women' s emotional response is 5 times stronger than men's.)
"What was such a big deal?"
And silence falls.
Unable to bear it, he says the worst thing of all:
"I think you are overreacting."

And it's over.
It's all down hill from this point on.

What just happened here????

He only wanted to help...she only wanted to share.

"But I don't need your help!"
"Then why are you telling me all this????"

And it is official: Men and women speak different languages,
even though they use the same words.

Here is a different scenario:

Remember I said that men "need to be able to just do nothing" because that's how they rebuild the lost dopamine? Which they NEED?
Women don't have this need. And they certainly don't understand "doing nothing."
Their genetic programming is to be multi-tasking non-stop: holding the baby and stirring the soup, talking on the phone, watching the other kids, thinking about the evening ahead... All in the day's work.
She is used to that. To her - that's normal.

And then she sees him. Her man. He came from work and seems to be "just sitting."

"Why are you just sitting there doing nothing?! Don't you know this that and the other still need doing???"

And two things happen to men:
One - they don't get to build the dopamine lost during the day, and two: this constant nagging and criticism makes their testosterone levels drop.

And we have the shocking but very real phenomenon of so many married couples not having sex anymore.

So what are we to do?

I say, accept our differences instead of being frustrated by them.

So we ARE different! What a marvel!
Want to get along with your partner?
Then stop expecting them to be the way you are.

Men: just let us talk, okay? Look at the bright side. Unless we specifically ask you, you do not need to do anything about our problems. Just be there and listen. Don't try to make us feel better. We will, on our own - as soon as we are done talking.

And women: let your man be. Stop the criticism, stop the complaints. He is not "just sitting" there, he is rebuilding himself. And once he's done, he will be backJ.
And he will love you for it. And you will get more of his attention and more of his kindness. And he WILL save the day (when the day needs saving) if you stop the nagging and the criticism.

Because when under extreme stress or in crisis the roles change dramatically.

Men's reaction to crises is hugely stronger than that of women.
The genetic programming kicks in, he steps into his natural role - and does what he does best.

Makes sense?

Don't take my word for it, try it for yourself.

All for now.

See some of you on Tuesday.
Love, Auriela.
.

The School of Hope and Inspiration

2009-05-27T11:34:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

I am simply amazed how much fun I am having during our classes. And how quickly we are moving forward. We are all each others teachers and students. And I love it. I am so grateful to all of you for your support.

To those of you who live far from here and want to participate on the phone - I am working on it! We hope to be ready soon.

The School of Hope and Inspiration

Tuesday Evenings
Gathering: 6:30 -7pm
Class: 7PM - 9:30PM

You can find more information on my website, AurielaMccarthy.com

.

Love Me the Way I Need To Be Loved

2009-05-25T22:23:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone, Here is This Week’s Show:

“Love me the way I need to be loved, NOT the way YOU want to love me.”

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN
TO THIS WEEK'S
RADIO SHOW

Let’s talk about Love:
-what does it mean to be loving?
-is love a feeling or an action or both?
-why ‘give and take’ has no place in a loving relationship
-what does it mean to give 100% and to take 0%?
-won’t I become a doormat?
-how to make the one you love feel safe, seen and accepted?
-why not any kind of giving as a loving act
-how do you overcome the fear of loss?
-how do you ‘allow freedom?’
-what does it mean: to rejoice in someone's presence?

A beautiful meditation to experience a Defining Moment of Love.
This life-changing meditation when done regularly, will continue to deepen your experience of love
and will do wonders for your relationship with yourself.
.

Change Your Memories – Change Your Life

2009-05-19T09:55:00.000-07:00

.
Hello Everyone here is this week's show:

I. Change Your Memories – Change Your Life.
What you remember (or don’t remember) is a CHOICE. YOUR choice.

Click Here to Listen
to
This Week's Radio Show

II. Responding to listeners’ questions:

”Every time I talk to my 84 year old mother I get angry and upset and can’t shake it off”
-The Law of Resonance and how it applies to you
-Beware of the company you keep

“You are saying my life is not a product of my past – but of my future??? Please, explain”

Where does it all come from?
- ‘cause and effect’...really?
- Your imagination, your fears your dreams...where do they “reside?”
-demystifying the “randomness” of life, getting into the driver’s seat

“How can I not feel resignation when I try so hard and nothing seems to work?”
What hides inside your resignation and how it destroys your life

-’giving up’ and ‘letting go’ are the opposites of each other
-being poisoned by feeling sorry for yourself
-resignation’s dangerous message to your body
-finding the anger, lancing the boil
-the ‘ugly’, difficult feelings that will take you out of your prison
-“You can’t be lifted if you don’t let go.”
The astonishing power of surrendering your pain.

Our Sexuality: How Do We Keep the Passion Alive?

2009-05-11T15:49:00.000-07:00

Hi, everyone,

Here is this week’s show title:

Our Sexuality: How Do We Keep the Passion Alive?
Conversation with Franc Sloan, a personal growth and development coach.

CLICK HERE TO
LISTEN TO
THIS WEEK'S RADIO SHOW

Passionate Sexuality:
-is it possible to maintain your passion for each other as the years go by?
-how important is sex in a relationship?
-the sad fact that a very large number of married couples stop having sex after a few years
-looking at the reasons for the loss of passion
-understanding hormonal imbalances and what both men and women can do to correct them
-how our emotions affect our sex life
-the price we (and our partners) pay when we deny or ignore our sexual drive
-the secret every happy couple knows but finds it hard to explain

-taking a look at our unexamined chauvinism and what it does to kill passion.
-bringing back the mystery, remembering the love.
-what you can do to awaken the lost (or sleeping) passion, regardless of whether you are single
or a part of a couple.
-

Mariel Hemingway "Mariel's Kitchen" and Why Interventions Don't Work

2009-05-04T12:04:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone,
Here is this week’s show

I. Talking with Mariel Hemingway about her new book Mariel’s Kitchen.
Finding the Sacred in Food.

-the power of the ancient ritual of “breaking bread” with another person
-eating –not to survive, but to thrive
-the importance of being conscious of what we eat and how we eat it
-the aesthetics of a beautifully set table and what it does to your soul
-being aware of how you feel while cooking the meal for your family:
DO NOT cook while angry, resentful or scared. These emotions will permeate
the food you cook.
Instead - cook when joyful and filled with gratitude
-the importance of bringing back into your life a simple tradition of
inviting friends to your home and treating them to a home-cooked meal

II. Why Interventions Don’t Work.

-people change when THEY want to change, not when they are told to change
-interfering with the person’s path and free will while
being sure you know “what’s best” is both pointless and wrong .
Pointless, because it doesn’t work, it can’t work and it never will work.
And wrong, because it is a one-up, “better than” position, no matter how “good” your intentions
may appear.
One thing to remember: what looks obvious – usually is not.
If this makes you raise your eye brows – listen to the rest of the show:).

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN
TO THIS WEEK'S
INTERVIEW WITH MARIEL HEMINGWAY
AND
TO HEAR MORE ABOUT
WHY INTERVENTIONS DON'T WORK
.

The Incredible Story of Rick Paris.

2009-04-28T14:52:00.001-07:00

.
Hi, everyone,
Here is this week’s show title:

The Incredible Story of Rick Paris.
This show is a MUST for
everyone regardless of your age,
gender or belief system.

-hit by a car moving at 40 miles an hour while running across a 6-lane highway
-dead yet – not dead? Being in the “in between”
-a choice to live made under extraordinary circumstance
-no- time for fear, self-pity or doubt
-forgiving himself for the accident
-taking charge of his own healing, refusing the fatal outcome
-Rick’s step-by-step process of putting the broken body back to normal
-refusing surgery
-walking out of the hospital the next day without a bruise

Listen to the show in its entirety!
Consider what’s Possible!

Forward the link to your friends. Let it bring them hope and inspiration.
Remember: “If one crow is white, then not all crows are black”
If one person could do it it, so can many.

Why not you?

The School of Hope and Inspiration Opens

2009-04-27T13:56:00.000-07:00

Please, join me at the first evening of the
School of Hope and Inspiration.

Here are the details:

Tuesday, April 28, 2009
7 pm – 9:30 pm

Please see my website The Power of The Possible for more details.

We will meet at a Sothern Marin location.
As soon as I hear from you, I will send you the address and directions.

You will need to have read Chapter One of The Power of the Possible:
What Can I Do to Get Him to Change? prior to the evening.

If you don’t have the book, you can get in on Amazon,
(used books are $4 and a little wear never hurts a book.)
or by going to www.PowerOfThePossible.com .
or at a local bookstore.

If you decide to come in the last minute and have not read Chapter One –
still come of courseJ, but you will want to catch up with the story afterwards.

Here is something to think about before next Tuesday.

Have you been fascinated with concept of The Law of Attraction,
yet found it difficult to apply in your life? Has is been a hit and miss success?

Do you become frustrated watching other people attract wonderful
things while you kept falling short and wondering what was wrong with you?

There is absolutely NOTHING that’s wrong with you.
And there is nothing wrong with The Law of Attraction.
But there is a reason why it hasn’t been working as well as you hoped it would.

The reason is explicit in the Law itself.

It is very hard if not impossible to think positive thoughts and
feel happy feelings on any consistent basis while the conditioning
of the past is still alive and active inside you.

This past needs to be healed. And the good news is – you can do it.
The not-so-good news (for some) is that you cannot skip this step. Not really.
And why would you want to?
Whatever losses and pain happened to you, they’ve also helped you to discover
your strengths and the courage to move on.
They will always be part of you. But they don’t have to define you.

And they don’t have to affect you now.

It is possible, truly possible to heal the pain, heal the past, to let it all go for real,
and to start living a life that will take your breath away.

It moves me more than I can find words to describe.
It’s what I live for. It’s what gets me out of bed every morning.

It is the reason and the inspiration for the School.

We are going to make it!

Every fiber of my being responds to that.

Hope for what’s Possible saved my life when my life was at its lowest point.
Hope made me keep looking and brought me to my path.

I always knew that it was possible to make Love and Life work.
I just didn’t know how.
And I wanted to make them work so much…
So much that I could taste it…

Pain could bring me to my knees, but as long as I was alive,
I kept imagining how it would look and feel one day...
One day, when I am free from it.

I didn’t have all the answers. Many of the answers I believed I had
had been wrong. But it didn’t stop me.

And then I discovered what today every teenager knows:
that the reason for everything that was happening in my life lay within myself.

Believe it or not, 22 years ago it wasn’t the every day jargon yet.
Even now, so many say these words too casually, without much thought
or understanding.

What does it really mean?
It means: good news!
It means – it is all in your hands.
This is not Pollyanna – it is the truth.

It took me 22 years to get where I am today. A long time and a bumpy road.
They say “the road to wholeness is always under constructionJ.”
Now the bumps are few and far in between. And they get smaller and smaller.
They are simply part of living on this planet.

I find myself less and less affected by them, by whatever it is that is happening
“out there.” Because first of all, I know there is no “out there” anyway,
and second, I know I am OK “in here.”

No external circumstances have the power to take this away.

It took me 22 years. Now it can take much much much less.
This is a different time. What used to take decades, now can take weeks,
or months, or happen instantly. It is all up to you.

How far you are willing to stretch your belief system?
What do you believe is possible for you?
( and if the answer is “not that much,” isn’t it good to know it?
Because this belief can be changed, and changed on the level of
the Subconscious mind, so that the change can stick.)

Before you can create something you want,
isn’t it valuable to find out why you don’t have it yet?

If it is love you want, let’s find out why it hasn’t been working.

If it is happiness that remains elusive, let’s discover why it is so.

Whatever it is – money, success, friends, your health…
whatever it is that is still missing, let’s find out why
and heal what stands in the way.

In my work with clients, I see extraordinary shifts happen right in front of my eyes.
People who are completely new to this work and have no “language” for it,
nor any knowledge of metaphysics, come to me armed with but one thing:
desire to make their life work better!
And their life-long blockages turn to dust.

Because they are making themselves matter.

This may be the most important decision in your life:

To make Yourself matter.

Don’t listen to the ego’s broken record, with its “as soon as I find time,
or as soon as I make the money I need, or as soon as I meet my “one and only…”
then I will give time to myself and make myself matter.

It will never happen. Change happens now, never in the future.
It happens with a choice. And then – with action.

Nothing is as exciting as Unraveling your own Mystery.
Actually, this is the Ultimate Human Drive. And once you discover it
for yourself -– wow! Get ready for a ride of your life!

If you don’t know it yet – just wait.

Say YES to yourself. Say it because you matter.
Stop here for a second and just feel these words:

You matter.

If you really let yourself feel it, the love that will flood in
will be overwhelming...

Then make a choice to allow the School to work for you.

And come.
So that step by step, the veil between you and clarity can begin to lift.

You will no longer feel that some things are beyond your control.
You will no longer feel as if you are all alone…

You will meet Yourself (perhaps for the first time) and discover your beauty.
You will forgive yourself and allow your Soul to heal.
And you will find your Empowerment.

You will learn amazing, life changing meditations.
You will learn extremely powerful and effective techniques of manifestation.
You will find your own answers to a lot of things.
And you will begin to live your life from a very conscious place…

And if that’s not enough – you will also learn how to consciously
(yes, consciously) create miracles.

Exciting????

See you on Tuesday, the 28th:).

With love and light,
Auriela.

How the Power of Authenticity Can Transform Your Life

2009-04-20T10:06:00.000-07:00

.
An Interview with Mike Robbins, author of
Be Yourself, Everyone Else Is Already Taken

-resistances and fears to being seen
-wearing masks and disguises in order to be accepted by peers
-what does it mean “to live an authentic life?”
-why is authenticity important?
-living your life boldly
-why pleasing others and giving up on yourself can never work
-the trap of comparing yourself to others
-learning to accept yourself just the way you are:
4 Principles of Accepting Yourself (taken from The Power of the Possible, a book of hope and inspiration)

-the courage to take risks:

How to find courage to live your life, not the life others have designed for you.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN
TO

THIS WEEK'S RADIO SHOW

“I missed 100% of the shots I never took.” Michael Jordan.

The Story of Legson Kayira - the Unstoppable Power of Human Spirit.

2009-04-13T16:47:00.000-07:00

Hello, everyone,

Here is the title of this week’s radio show:

I. The Story of Legson Kayira - the Unstoppable Power of Human Spirit.

II. Dealing with Your Fear of Intimacy and with Feeling Undeserving:

Responding to listeners’ questions:
-being attracted to ‘crazy’ guys
-running away from pain
-feeling unable and unwilling to forgive the abuse
-new relationships – old patterns

A meditation that will lift your resistances to succeeding in anything you want to create.
(includes a powerful manifestation technique)

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN
TO THIS
WEEK'S RADIO SHOW

Responding to Questions in Your emails.

2009-04-06T22:51:00.000-07:00

In this week's The Power of the Possible radio show, Auriela talks about some of the emails you have sent her:

-”How do I deal with the aging, dependent and manipulative parent?”
- “I feel so guilty...”
-”My boyfriend left and now there is a hole in my heart that no one can fill.”
-”I have cancer and the doctors gave me a few month to live. How do I find hope?"
-"My teenage daughter hates me and hates God.”

Finding Hope during the darkest times of your life. Not just expecting miracles – but relying on them.
The miraculous healing power of Laughter.

An incredible meditation to meet the Future You, who already went
through what you are going through now – and made it!

Receive guidance and healing from Yourself.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN
TO
THIS WEEK'S RADIO SHOW

What You Can Do to Become More Aware of Your Personal Power

2009-03-30T13:40:00.000-07:00

This week's radio show covers:

Being happy, at peace, fulfilled is a skill.
Work on developing it every day.

Click here to Listen

Become conscious of the field of fear around our country right now
Then - make a conscious choice: I will NOT contribute to the field of fear,
Instead I will help lift it by making a choice to stay positive, no matter what.

A few Tools for the current times:

End blame as a knee-jerk response to difficult feelings.
“Feeling the fear makes it dissipate and lift.
Not feeling the fear and instead looking for who you can blame keeps you stuck.”
Begin each day with this question: “Am I going to be powerful or am I going to blame today?
and then - make the choice to be positive, optimistic and happy.

What you give your attention to – is what you attract.
Ask yourself during the day:
“What am I giving my attention to right now?” Make sure your attention is on the positive outcome.

Become Hopeful. This too is a skill you work on every day.
An Antidote to all negative emotions is Gratitude.

Focus on feeling grateful and you will attract more things to be grateful for.

Happy People are Happy for No Reason.

2009-03-23T13:19:00.000-07:00

Interview with Marci Shimoff, author of international best-seller Happy for No Reason.

Click here to listen to:

Happy People are Happy for No Reason

- ”The most important question to ask: “Is this a friendly Universe?”
Albert Einstein
- What is the “happiness set point?”
- becoming aware that to be happy (or to be unhappy) is a fundamental
choice everyone makes on the Soul level
- what do people who are unconditionally happy have in common?
- what you can do every day to turn the “switch” from unhappy to happy

How Do We Write the Scripts of our Life. Part Two.

Your thoughts and feelings and how they affect your happiness
every minute of the day.

.

A Deeper Look at How We Write the Scripts of Our Lives. Part One.

2009-03-16T19:54:00.000-07:00

On this week's radio show, Auriela takes a deeper look at how we write the scripts of our lives.

Click Here to Listen

Part One.

-the tools with which everyone on the planet creates their life
-looking at what you want to create and eliminating discordant voices
-understanding the role and the power of imagination in creating your reality
-expectation – the most intricate of the tools with which we create
-the difference between real expectation and the pumped up, false one

- examining your beliefs and attitudes to bring them in alignment with expectation
-your subconscious mind and its function as the guardian of consistency
-Replacing the beliefs that don’t serve you with the ones that do. Doing it in the subconscious mind

a powerful technique to strengthen and heal your ability to expect:

Strengthening your expectation by visualizing 4 particular colors.
These colors will trigger the flow of electromagnetic energy in your brain
that is particularly conducive to improving our ability to expect.

(Explanation, followed by meditation.)

Opening Yourself to Your Light Shadow.

2009-03-10T11:31:00.000-07:00

This week, Auriela's online Radio Show covers the following topics:

-two ways to live a life: “one - as if nothing is a miracle
and another – is if everything is a miracle” (Einstein.)

Making a choice to live as if everything in your life is a miracle
whether you understand it or not.

-becoming aware of your impact on others at all times
-an easy and very cool 5-minute technique to do at the end of each day
to ensure a restful sleep and a flow of miracles into your life.
The result will astound you. It will feel so easy you will
want to discount it. Don’t.

-Being conscious of the company you keep:

-Being in control of what you can control: your environment, not other people or the world
-Surrounding yourself with optimistic, positive people and
staying away from other people’s negativity
-refusing to feel helpless

-understanding your Light Shadow: accepting (and not shrinking) from your light
-a poignant and effective mediation to encounter and embrace your Light Shadow

This safe and incredibly powerful meditation will do wonders for your energy,
your ability to stay centered and present, and your ability to create - regardless of the external circumstances.

Do it and feel the difference.
Receive the love. Receive the magic!

Chaos and Shadow (Both Dark and Light)

2009-03-02T20:09:00.000-08:00

In this Week's The Power of the Possible Radio Show, Auriela explores two topics:

Living at the Time of Chaos. Making Friends with Uncertainty

-the importance of focusing on the positive
-understanding your fear of loosing control
-trusting your spirituality; developing ability to rely on miracles
-using Gratitude to generate more things to be grateful for.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THIS WEEK'S SHOW

Understanding and Making Peace with your Shadow ( both Dark and Light.)

-what you can’t stand in others are the qualities you won’t own in yourself
-what you most admire in others are the qualities you won’t own in yourself
-paying attention to your exaggerated responses
-ending the denial, accepting, making peace

A powerful meditative technique to meet and make peace with your Shadow.
Important warning: Your Shadow communicates in metaphor. You must always have someone who is “more” than you (a spirit guide, your Higher Self, a friend from another Realm) accompany you when you go to your Shadow. Never go to your Shadow by yourself.
Pay attention to the meditation, it is all explained in great detail.

A Fresh Look at Longevity and Wellness

2009-02-23T15:02:00.000-08:00

In this Week's The Power of the Possible Radio Show, Auriela talks about longevity, wellness, and the aging process:

“I Don't Want To Age!”
What Can We Do to Stop the Aging?
A Fresh Look at Longevity and Wellness

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THIS WEEK'S SHOW

the difference between chronological and biological age
can aging be stopped and reversed?
is our aging a function of years or of emotional pain?
the role of stress in the way we age
thyroid dysfunction as cause of depression
an easy at-home method to check on your thyroid
a few easy and effective things to do to support the thyroid glad
2 important books to expand your understanding

Dreaming and Making Our Dreams – a Reality.

2009-02-16T14:07:00.000-08:00

In this Week's The Power of the Possible Radio Show, Auriela talks with Marcia Wieder, the founder of Dream University. Together, they cover the following topics:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THIS WEEK'S SHOW

dreaming first – strategizing later

recognizing dreaming as one of our most powerful tools
knowing what you want and desiring it with passion
turning your “doubter” into your “strategist”
how to demonstrate to yourself that you are serious about your dream
changing the focus of your dreaming by giving them Future orientation:
creating an exciting New Future – rather than changing the Past that didn’t work.

Two special offers from Marcia Wieder:

1. An invitation to participate in any of the workshops offered by the Dream University. Mention “possible” when you sign up and receive a 10% discount

2. A gift of 10 E-books for immediate downloading: to receive them - go to dreamcoach.com

A Deeper Look at How We Create Our Lives

2009-02-09T13:33:00.000-08:00

-what’s wrong with looking for simple solutions?
-the pitfalls of “simple answers”
-understanding the ease of complexity
-the 3 tools everyone uses to create what they want
-what to do when you can’t believe that things will work out
-understanding the workings of the subconscious mind
-making the subconscious mind you ally

A powerful meditation to engage the subconscious mind: A very effective way to change your beliefs replacing them with the ones that will serve you better.

Click here to listen to this week's radio show,
"The Power of the Possible"

Cutting to the core of every issue and breaking apart many long held beliefs that keep us from creating the life we claim we want but have been unable to create, this show will challenge your thinking and empower you to take a fresh look at the way you live your life.

It was never meant to be that painful...but it was.

Is your past still holding you hostage? Robbing you of your peace, making forgiveness unattainable?

Time doesn't heal all wounds, but love can.

“You must lose the battle of being right, to win the war of being happy” says Auriela. Meet real people and hear their extraordinary stories of healing and change. Be touched, be inspired, be amazed. Learn why “NOTHING CHANGES until WE change.”