How Can A Good Book Be Bad For Me?

.
Hello, dear friends,

Last night I finished reading yet another beautifully written book that had made me feel bad.

What do I mean by bad? - Hopeless.
And it takes a lot to make me feel this way.

It didn't last of course, because it is so foreign to who I am. Still, I was affected. I had to consciously shift out of this energy by remembering the truth: That goodness, beauty and truth always prevail.

Then I thought about the love I have
in my life and all the beautiful things I am grateful for.

After that - I sat down to write this email.

This is the third book I read recently that was filled with lonely people and "no way out," where the author touched the depth of human pain and found so little hope for the future of the human condition.

I could not put the book down because the story was gripping and very well written.

Because as I writer- I take such deep pleasure in well-written prose (poetry too, of course.) For me it is an aphrodisiac, food for soul, an awe-inspiring experience - reading good literature. And because I was hoping that in the end I will be lifted out of the dreary darkness into the light of hope and possibility.

Alas, it did not happen.


Here is this week's Food for Thought.

When you read a book, you get the author's perspective on life, and if the author is pessimistic by nature, no matter how well the book is written, you will be affected by this energy.

That's why, by the time I put each of these books down - I was overcome with immeasurable sadness.

Not the sadness you feel because you love the book so much you wanted it to go on forever. But the overall sadness about life. As if human beings are destined to live in pain, unable to express their deepest longings, unable to ever be understood by the ones they love.

Luckily I know better, and I know this is not true.
Luckily I am strong enough not to buy into this paradigm and it didn't take me long to shift back to my normal self.

But what about the readers who are more susceptible to hopelessness?

It will just "confirm what they already know," wouldn't it?
Bring them down, contribute to their unhappiness, create a chain reaction of things not working out...(read on, I will explain what I mean.)

You notice I am not mentioning the books' titles here.
I do not want to promote this way of seeing the world.
I have never subscribed to it. And I also I know it is not true.

Hopelessness never had any appeal for me. Even at those times when I had no logical reason for hope of any kind. And I had those times in my life. Just like you did. Just like everyone living on this planet did.

It was the grace of God that somehow, in ways I could never find words to describe at the time, I always knew that something better was possible and that it was possible for me too.

I was lucky to have that. To be born knowing this innately.
Back in the former Soviet Union, my old English teacher used to call me "a butterfly", implying someone not "deep" enough to see "the gravity of life."

Little did we both know that in its mysterious ways the Universe was giving me a wink. A butterfly: a symbol of transcendence. Not transformation, because the butterfly is not a better, improved version of a former caterpillar but a different species all together.

A species that has transcended the form and conditions where it was doomed to crawl and - grew wings, and a colorful body and became something entirely new, something that would discover the beauty of flowers and the freedom of flying to the sky.

Why am I writing about it today, and why did I start with mentioning the books I read?

Remember the Law of Resonance? I talked and wrote about it so much, in The Power of the Possible, in my radio shows and in one of these newsletters as well.
I will continue to talk about it for years to come, because more and more - our world is moving into
resonant reality causation.
More and more, and faster and faster.

Think about it.
Resonant reality causation. Now that's a mouthful. Indeed, it is. But what does it mean???

In a few words: Like attracts like. Which is nothing new, except in this fast-changing world it is not something you can continue to ignore. Like also generates like. Multiplies it, attracts it.

Watch a movie with a dark, negative message showing you that things never work out... spend even 10 minutes with a pessimistic, cynical person listening to them blame and complain...read a book, even a well-written one that shows you that you "live alone and you die alone"...and see
what happens to how you feel.

And once you feel low, unhappy, irritable -
watch things beginning to fall apart all around you:
a fight with a loved one, a business deal canceled, a telephone call with bad news...

Think it is a coincidence?
Come on. Even school children today know better than that.

Now - go spend an hour walking on the beach, or go dancing, or watch a good comedy, or call a friend who always makes you feel good because of his or her positive, optimistic attitude. And - notice how you feel.
Then - go and make that business call, ask for that deposit on a sale, call for ticket to a sold -out concert - and see what happens!

That's what Resonant Causation means.
Your resonance - creating your reality for you.

The sum total of the energies your carry ( which are all - vibrational frequencies), the entire spectrum of them, from hopelessness to joy - that form a standing wave of energy: Your own Personal Resonance.

If you want to understand it deeper - it is on pages 32 to 38 in The Power of the Possible. If the book is on your book shelf - pull it out and read theses few pages.
Even if it is nothing new to you.

Understanding this and living from this place is so important, it needs to becomes second nature to you. So that you leave the conversation as soon as you hear about "doom and gloom," so that you recognize when you yourself are not in a positive place and so DON'T make an important call, DON'T go on that important date...until you consciously shift into a different resonance.

I wrote about it in Chapter One of the book, because I wanted to set the tone for rest of it. It is that important. If you don't have the book yet, get it and read these pages. Understand how it works. It appears simple, yet it is very complex. Take it seriously.
A short while from now this truth will become common knowledge.

The better you understand it and live by it, the better your life will work and the happier you will feel.

But Auriela, why did you read three books in a row that have a negative message?

Guilty as charged. Lesson learned yet again!
I was drawn in, because they were so well written.
I hunger for good literature and I was hoping for a different ending.

If your read something wonderful lately, please, share with me, I would really appreciate it.

All for now.

P.S. If it feels right, and you enjoy reading my blog, please, forward this to your friends and family. Better yet, suggest that they sign up to receive it.
Don't do it to change them, just to share.
.

Being Busy Doing What You Love....What's the Problem?

.
Hello, dear friends,

Thanks to everyone who confirmed receiving my newsletter. Thanks for your warm and wonderful responses! I will be asking this a couple more time to make sure most of you read it.
Please, send me a few words telling me that these emails reach you. Because many are still being lost in cyberspace and I am trying to figure out how many and if it is something I can fix on my end.

On another, somewhat related subject: I love responding to all your emails. I love receiving them and love writing back.
When it takes me longer to do it, please, forgive me. Know that as soon as I read your email I want to stay at the computer and write you back.
My brain is filling with answers to your questions and if I don't exercise some discipline, I can spend a few hours a day doing that.
Often, I don't have these too hours. Which made me pause and think. And became Today's Food for Thought below.

A School of Hope and Inspiration

Tuesday, Novemeber 10, 2009
Gathering: 6:30PM -7PM Class: 7PM - 9:30PM
(notice: no class on November 3.)

RSVP for address and directions
Classes are held in Southern Marin

I appreciate if everyone RSVPs, so I know how many seats we need.
email Auriela@AurielaMcCarthy.com
Please, be on time, we will start promptly at 7pm

Here is this week's Food for Thought.

Not that long ago I wrote about the importance of knowing your Priorities and having them in the right order.
Knowing what comes first, what comes second and so on.

I suggested making a list. Sitting down with pen and paper, thinking about what matters, and writing it down, in a column.
Then - analyzing your list, and arranging it in the order of importance.

Why is the order important?

Because of The Law of Priorities.
Because if your priorities are out of order, you don't get to have them.
You may get a few here and there but no more.

The good news is:
if your priorities are in order, you will get all of them,
or at least - most of them.

Last week I decided to take a look at mine, again. I made my list.
And looked at it long and hard.
And then I laughed.

No wonder I was not feeling like myself.
As if something was missing.
Nothing was missing. On the contrary -
I had too much on my plate!

All of it - wonderful, a feast, a celebration...and still - too much. As if I've come to the banquet with a fabulous buffet, tables loaded with delicious foods I love to eat, and instead of wisely taking some and passing other offerings - in my excitement, I kept on loading my plate.

Few things feel better than suddenly getting clarity.
This is why I laughed when I saw my list, written in my own hand, staring back at me.

What am I talking about?

Read on. Today's newsletter is about me.

If you see the similarities with your own life - great.
Hey, haven't we always hoped to learn from other people's mistakes?

It might actually work in this case because many of you are probably in the same boat.

Here is what I discovered looking at my list of priorities.

I have allowed myself to get too busy.

Busy doing the things I love to do, that's true.
Just too many of them.

As a result, there was always something I wasn't getting to. Too often I was behind on many things...I was staying up late, trying to catch up...And it didn't feel good.

"But Auriela, didn't you just say that you are busy doing the things you love to do? Aren't you lucky? So many people hate their jobs...don't you know that?"

I do. I am very aware of this sad fact. I think hating your job and staying there year after year is one of the worst things you can do to yourself.
I believe you must either change the way you feel about your job ( if it is possible) or get out. Get out without sabotaging yourself, but thinking it through, preparing and then - going for it!

To continue doing what you hate - is like signing your own death sentence. No overstatement.
This subject is very important and deserves its own newsletter. Another time perhaps.

Yes, I am doing what I love to do. And I am so very grateful for the life I have.

It hasn't always been so.

It took a few powerful and difficult choices and a lot of guts.
Acting in spite of my fears and trusting myself even when I didn't have the answers...

It took being willing to make mistakes and refusing to give up. Refusing to settle for a life that might have fewer risks, but would require my giving up on my dreams.
And - on myself.

It took never loosing hope, even in the darkest times...
If you read The Power of the Possible, I have written about it intimately, not holding back.

The life I am living now didn't just happen.
I know how I got here.

I also know how it happened that I am involved in so many things, loving all of them...

It has been an amazing journey and I am right in the midst of it now...

And yet - it is time to pause.

To prioritize.

To choose which of my activities to keep, which to put on hold and which to let go of.

Because I have become so busy I started to lose my enthusiasm.

And it is my natural state, an essential part of who I am.
When I don't feel it - I am not myself. It is a sign that something is off.
Feeling enthusiasm about life - feeling inspired, excited, lifted by something that is beyond words - is among the best feelings in the world.

For me, it is a priority.

What happened?

I have bitten off more than I can chew.

Here is the partial list:

-I record a weekly one hour-long radio show, which I love.

-I write a weekly newsletter ( the one you are reading now.) I love doing that too.

-I receive emails from the readers of The Power of the Possible, and I try to respond to each one of them, in depth, the best I can. I love doing it and I very much want to.

-I have A School of Hope and Inspiration with weekly evening classes, and occasional one-day workshops...I love this work.

-I work with private clients - in person and long-distance, on the phone. I love doing that.

-Now and then I have a speaking engagements -I love that too.

-I am writing my next book, which is sweeping me away, into a different world and other dimensions...Do I love writing it? I LOVE it!
( this list is not in order. Otherwise, WHY is the book at the end of it?!!!???) Good question.

-And -I still have my fine art business, and there are parts of it that I love too.

-And oh yes...I am in a relationship with a magnificent man, my husband, and I love being with him. (this IS always on top of my list, blessedly I never forget it.)

- I have a tiny grand daughter - 4 months old, in New York and I try to go there often, for a few days so I can see her grow. I am in love with her.

-I am blessed with wonderful friends and I love to be able to spend time with them.

-I love to hike or go on walks, to get lost in a book, to see movies, to take time for myself, to simply do nothing - such a wonderful thing...
-I like to have time to exercise. And I love how it makes me feel afterward.

All this - AND the every day business of living, with every-day things coming up and needing attention.

What I don't like is being so busy!
Busy - yes, but not all the time. Too busy - no.

Do you see why it was time to prioritize?

And guess what went to top of my priorities, right after my marriage and my health?

My new book!
Writing The Power of the Possible was bliss. The best time of my life in so many ways.
Why then did it take me so long to get to writing the next book?

See what I mean? Why the list and order of priorities are important?

When you make yours,
make sure there are no more than 10.

And don't forget your Spirituality. Make it #1. All things flow out of it.

At some point - it becomes your only priority. Above #1, including, embracing and feeding all the other ones. It doesn't need to go on the list. It's who you are.

It is your connection to Something More. Feeling the Mystery of life, knowing you are not alone.

This connection is unique to everyone one of us.
It is your relationship with the Divine.

You experience it when you feel gratitude, when your heart overflows with love, at moments of passion when you are lost in creativity,
or touched by nature...in meditative altered states, through bursts of sudden joy.
Looking at a rainbow...Or - very directly.

I left the best part of this letter to the very end, didn't I?
And if you did read that far - I have written it for you.
A wink. A reminder of something you know well.
A reminder, that - if it is not already so - to make you spirituality - your priority!
Everything changes, once you do.

All for now.
See some of you on Tuesday the 10th.

Much love to you, always.

Remember: never ever give up hope!

Auriela.
.
P.S. If it feels right, and you enjoy reading my blog, please, forward it to your friends and family. Better yet, suggest that they sign up to receive updates in Newsletter form.
Don't do it to change them, just to share.
.

You Can Change Yourself

.
A School of Hope and Inspiration
Tuesday October 27, 2009
Gathering: 6:30PM -7PM Class: 7PM - 9:30PM
RSVP for address and directions
Auriela@AurielaMcCarthy.com

Classes are held in Southern Marin
I appreciate if everyone RSVPs,
so I know how many seats we need.
Please, be on time, we will start promptly at 7pm

Here is this week's Food for Thought

As an author, I get regular emails from my readers. Lately - predominantly from US and India. Men and women of different ages, thanking me for The Power of the Possible, telling me how the book helped them with their lives and relationships...

And just as I am getting happy reading an email like this - a question comes:

"Auriela, can you please tell me what to do with my...husband, sister-in-law, daughter, mother, wife, friend...???"

Whoever it happens to be - is not acting they way my reader wants them to act. Doing something that "must be stopped." And they are asking me to show them how to stop it.

This is when I do a double-take.

Haven't you just read my book?

Haven't you just written to me to thank me for it?

How then did you manage to have missed the book's entire message:

Nothing changes until you do?

Every story ( true story, by the way) in The Power of the Possible shows - through other people's experiences, why trying to get another person to change doesn't work.
It explains why it is so, and why it will always be so.

It also shows that
people change when they want to change.
And only when they want to change. Never because we ask them or tell them to.

And so you read the book, you agree that you can't change other people, (in theory)- ...and then, when it comes to your own life - out the door goes this bit of wisdom and you are back to the same old fight: someone HAS to change.
And that someone is usually someone else.
Because YOU know what's best for THEM.

A fascinating thing, human nature. A fascinating thing also: how stubborn we are about "being right" and insisting that others see things our way.

Below are a my responses to a few of your questions.
And though they may not be what you hoped to hear, the truth does set us free, even if at first, to quote Gloria Steinem, it "will piss you off."


-Is there a magic technique that will make your lover stop flirting with other women?

No, there is not. If it bothers you - leave him. You can't change him.
But you can change yourself.


-Is there a way you can make your adult son change, so he gets a permanent job and moves out of your house?

Yes. Tell him he has to move out. And mean it.

-What? Kick out my son?

Absolutely. Give him notice (a short notice) and be firm. Didn't you say he was an adult? This is the best thing you can do for him - and for you. Stop trying to change him.
Change yourself.


-What can you do to get your mother to stop being rude to your wife?

Tell her that unless she acts differently, she can't come visit. Period. Don't ask her to change. Inform her about how it will be from now on. Change yourself.


-Should you ask for an apology from your sister-in-law with whom you have been refusing to speak for 7 years over "a trifle"?

Absolutely. To keep holding a grudge for 7 years?... Come on. It was "a trifle" - your words, not mine. Apologize. And be thankful if she doesn't turn out to be like you - punishing you for the next 7 years.

If these answers were self-evident (as they should have been) - bravo! I hope you got a chuckle or two.

And if they were not - hurry to Amazon.com or to my website and get The Power of the Possible and read it! What on earth are you waiting for?:)

All for now.
See some of you on Tuesday.

Much love to you, always.

Remember: never ever give up hope!
Auriela.

Chauvinism and Its Impact On Our Life and Jealousy, Its Devastating Power.

.
Hello Dear Friends
Here Are The Topics For This Week's "The Power of the Possible" Radio Show:

Chauvinism and its impact on our life.

A man’s perspective.
Discussing this dark legacy with Franc Sloan, a Personal Growth Coach.

Exploring the crippling effect of chauvinism on both sexes and the way it destroys relationships.

Women and chauvinism.

Jealousy. Its root, its devastating power, and ways to end it.

.

Your “Dance with Love” and what you can learn from it.

.
Here is this week’s The Power of the Possible Radio Show:

Addressing the questions raised by readers of The Power of the Possible, a book of hope and inspiration.

Why “perception is not reality?”
Why does it mean: “powerlessness can be the most powerful state?”
The difference between resignation and surrender.

A powerful meditation of Self-Discovery: Your “Dance with Love” and what you can learn from it.

.